KC just dumped me to play with Chia. T_T
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I shall now go and attempt suicide.
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I shall now go and attempt suicide.
*cue dramatic music, rain of blood and black confetti*
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Well now, that sounded ridiculous, did it not?*
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Yet, it happens in real life.
Meet Hannah Bond, 13-year-old suicide victim.
One may ask, how did such a normal teenager with her whole life ahead of her turn into THAT emo, semi-balding girl with horrible fashion sense?
=_= Influenced by peers and by the media, no doubt about it.
If you can't be bothered to read the linked article, which is pretty long I must admit (though I found it interesting,) Hannah's story went something like this:
Hannah Bond was a normal teen who eventually got into the increasingly popular emo culture. She got caught up with the idea of romaticising death, listening to 'emo' songs from MCR and Good Charlotte. Soon, she started dressing in black, dying her hair black and became an introverted child.
Her parents were worried and forbade her to dye her hair black, but were afraid to restrict her any more than that, for fear of even more rebellious acts.
She started cutting her wrists.
When questioned by her concerned parents, she said that "oh, it's normal. All emos do it."
One day, she was forced to come home after staying at an emo friend's house - who also inflicts self-harm - and she was not happy about the situation.
She looked at her mother and said:
"I feel like killing myself."
Her mom was terrified, but told her "don't be silly, we'll talk about it in the morning."
She came back an hour later.
Hannah was dead.
She was found hanging from her bunk bed with a necktie, and no amount of screams from her parents could bring her back to life.
***
I don't know about you, but some time in my youth...maybe when I was roughly 12, I was interested in pop-punk-goth culture. Simple Plan and Good Charlotte were at their height of popularity - My Chemical Romance had yet to emerge.
It had changed me in several small, but not necessarily insignificant ways. I grew to dislike people who dressed properly, spoke properly or liked to listen to pop music - back then they were known as 'preps.'
Other children my age were driven to find their sense of 'individuality' through immersing themselves in 'punk' culture and distancing themselves from a 'normal and boring' lifestyle.
Characteristic of the punks/goth include an affinity for black and red, a dislike of the colour pink, a usually hostile and rude manner of speech as well as the habit of letting our emotions control us.
As the article said, death was indeed romanticised, and the idea of self-harm was no longer taboo. Although I have never cut myself or contemplated suicide, I have wondered what would happen should I, indeed, perish at a young age.
I began to see death as something inevitable - not something to fear.
Death will come, whether you like it or not.
The 'goths' back then (which have appeared to have evolved into 'emos') constantly asked this question:
If we're all going to die anyway, why don't we just end our life sooner?
I used to wonder, too.
We used to see the rest of the people as selfish beings, only caring about themselves and the world around them. Oh, we teenagers are suffering and they don't give a shit because they have such a happy life - we don't mean anything to them, so why don't we just kill ourselves and get out of their lives?
Or: Everyone else is so boring, living their 9-to-5 lives, conforming to the norms of society, so why don't I be unique and rebel against society? I shall now listen to Rammstein, Marilyn Manson, dress utterly in black and put on my best scowl to greet strangers - just so I can be different, think for myself and not let others make decisions for me.
Yes, I used to wonder.
Until one day, it just hit me:
If I decide to delve into punk-goth culture, am I truly an 'individual' now?
Am I so different from others?
Why do I see scores of other teenagers dressed exactly alike - striped socks, skull-print fingerless gloves, 1cm thick eyeliner with black tears?
Why are they all listening to Nirvana, Slipknot and The Used?
Why do they all have the same snobbish, 'I-don't-give-a-fuck-whether-you-like-me-or-not' expression?
Why do they all think that life sucks and that others exist just to complicate matters?
Why have you all allowed yourselves to be victims of mass media and vicious marketing?
But most importantly:
WHY THE HELL ARE THEY ALL THE SAME IF THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE REBELS?
Are they not supposed to have their own identity?
A sense of self - a confidence that they are different from everyone else and will not get swallowed into the masses?
Why, WHY do they think that suicide solves everything?
It is impossible that not a single person cares about you; killing yourself will cause them great emotional distress - which is exactly what you have been complaining about.
If you think suicide can solve things, you are utterly stupid, selfish and have absolutely no foresight.
Killing yourself to 'ease your pain?'
Rubbish. I may not believe in any specific religion, but I believe that killing yourself is the stupidest thing to do.
You are worth so much to the world, only you choose to wallow in self-pity and render yourself completely useless.
As for killing yourself just to get back at your parents for not letting you get your way?
Idiot.
Spoilt brat.
Thoughtless.
Self-centered.
There are a multitude of names I can choose to call a person who does the above, but I shall not further waste my time.
Those times are now long behind me, and I can now proudly say that I am a 'normal, boring 9-to-5' (when I start working) teenager.
Sam has told me many times that if I just spike my hair up a little, line my eyes and practise my sneer, I'd make a fantastic Goth.
I'd either laugh in his face or give him my best =_='' face.
Which just further proves that these so-called punk and goth cultures are purely image-based. It's all about how you appear in the eyes of the public. And if you even care about what they think of you..you can't really call yourself a 'carefree' punk or an 'I-dont-give-a-damn-about-life' goth now, can you?
I say, just live as life as its comes.
You have your own good qualities and shortcomings.
There are people who love you, and there are those hold grudges against you.
Life may seem hard at times, but if people have lived to 122 without any complaints, why can't you just live life as it is? (Yes, we all complain at times.)
People may judge you by how you dress, how you speak, or even how you play DotA (@@) - but screw them all.
They don't matter at all.
It's you that matters.
You, and your loved ones.
That is all.
=)
Song of the Day:
"Dont Know Much - Linda Ronstadt & Aaron Neville"
But I know I love you~
(I'm a sucker for love songs. GG!)
