Migration

Just cause I felt like it :)

omnomnomism right here!

Friends please update your links as it's likely that I won't be blogging here again often. Some things are meant to be left as it is.

I will always love this blog though. So many years, so many memories...

Happy 2011.

Dust

After returning home from a long day at work, I gladly leaped into my bed for a well-deserved nap, although sunlight was still streaming in through my window.

Suddenly, I froze. My violent landing on my bed had kicked up a swirling vortex of dust, caught by the sunlight that pierced through my blinds.

I was in awe, for the dust wasn't grey.

It was sparkling. SPARKLING. In all colours of the rainbow! And here I thought all these while that dust only existed in shades of grey. But now...now I could have jumped in a pile of glitter and it would appear no different.

But seriously? Rainbow-ific dust? Anyway, I was so fascinated that I didn't sleep until much later. For ages, I just lay down, facing the sunlight at an acute angle, thumping Mr. Bump (my pillow-y toy) again and again, endlessly amazed by the whirling frenzy.

I wish someone would photograph it. I wonder how they'll be able to do it. Maybe someone has already done it. I don't know. How can one focus a lens on something so tiny and eternally in motion is beyond me. This goes to show nothing beats our own lens. We are still superior to commercial cameras!

Anyway, it just struck me that dust is 80% shed human skin. And who has glittering skin?

FFFFFUUUUUUUUU-

(But seriously though. The shiny dust really wowed me.)

Sex and Marriage

Was bored last night so I was reading Offbeat Bride to pass time. It's basically a website where people share their unconventional/personal wedding ceremonies and experiences. I got hooked on the site when I first saw the post on the gamer-lesbian wedding ceremony. OMG gorgeous dresses and a companion cube wedding cake? Rings offered on a Pink DSL? *geeks out*

Anyway, I'm straying off topic as usual. What I wanted to blog today is some quotes from the comments section of an article that was linked off Offbeat Bride.

As some of you know, I have spoken about premarital sex and 'waiting' before. I've been fairly passionate about this topic for a while now, and even debated it last year with my class and my English lecturer and more recently, my mother. I received mostly negative responses from all parties, but I understand that everyone's viewpoints and beliefs will differ from mine.

Basically, my points were:

1. Marriage should be about finally committing to the love of your life, not as a 'license' to have 'guilt-free sex.' 

2. Having premarital sex with someone you love and trust should not be a guilt-ridden and sinful experience. Sex is not a crime, it is a life experience that you share with someone special.

3. Even if you have had premarital sex and gotten pregnant unintentionally, you should not have to be pressured into marrying the guy who got you pregnant if you don't think he is the one for you. You've already made one big mistake (assuming that the baby wasn't intended and you are incapable of supporting one,) so why make another by tying yourself down to someone you don't love?

While debating with my classmates over premarital sex, I asked one boy what he would do if he knocked up his girlfriend. He responded with "marry her of course!" I then asked him why.

"Why? I got her pregnant, it is my duty to marry her!"

I then asked everyone if they feel this demeans the purpose of the marriage - to correct a 'sin' instead of being a gesture of love and commitment.

I was then met with incredulous looks.

Okay, fine. Call me crazy if that makes you feel better.

I had the same talk with my mother. We were talking about a girl that we knew that was pregnant at 17 and married the guy who knocked her up. They divorced not long after, so I asked my mom what's the point of marrying him if you feel it's not going to work out anyway?

"To protect the family from shame."

I then stated that people will know that she has premarital sex anyway when the baby pops out less than 9 months after the wedding, so why bother trying to cover it up?

She then changed the topic and almost accused me for trying to justify me having premarital sex. I responded that I have not done so, and do not intend to do so any time soon. But she kept repeating herself - 'shame, shame, shame.'

I said that since getting pregnant indicates that you have had premarital sex and brings shame upon the family, the real 'shame' you're talking about is premarital sex, not the fact that you got pregnant right?

So why do you pressure people to get married just because one of them gets pregnant? Just because everyone says it's the 'right' thing to do? Would you have your child grow up in a loveless/premature marriage (I'm just talking about those who marry when they aren't ready or don't feel right) than allow the mother to possibly fall in love with a better partner or have more time to prepare themselves for something as big as marriage?

Of course, these are only my opinions. I understand that everyone has their own view on the matter, but no one should be allowed to force their opinion on someone else. I'm not upset that there are people with more conventional thoughts, but I just want to find out what is behind those thoughts.

What drives them to believe what they believe in? Societal pressure? Religious upbringing? Family honour?

For me, it is ultimately your decision. Sex and marriage are very important and personal things, and no one should dictate how YOU should deal with them. Unfortunately, some people face too much opposition when they try to buck the norms and do what they truly believe in.

Despite all that, I believe that once you are ready and completely emotionally mature, you should be able to do what you want - whether to wait for sex after marriage or otherwise - without being persecuted by the rest of society.

:)

Anyway, these are some quotes that I really liked from A Practical Wedding, the blog mentioned above. I find that they manage to articulate and communicate their points more effectively and succinctly than I could. But then again, I'm still a teenager with a whole bunch of conflicting thoughts and raging hormones. So perhaps you'd rather read my thoughts summed up in a more mature and eloquent way. :)

"Waiting to have sex (or in our case, do anything at all) is hard, and it gets harder when people assume that because SOME of our reasons stem from religion, that means that a) we haven’t thought them out, b) we wait out of fear of going to hell, and c) we dislike/condemn all those people who make different lifestyle choices than ours. Just wanted to say, that while all three of these may be true of some people who are religious and wait because of it, it isn’t true for all ;)"

"There seems to be such an artificial divide between “wacky Bible thumpers” and “liberal, liberated women,” which dominates the discussion. And for so many of us who are living in the middle of this issue, it’s so much more nuanced than that."

"While it is obviously a poor idea to get married impetuously (particularly when very young) just so you can have sex, it is an equally poor idea to get yourself in the situation where you marry someone because you accidentally got pregnant."

"For me, the best part of discussing the topic to death has been seeing FH’s (future husband's) patience and commitment to my comfort, which I think is such a stark contrast to some of the messages that culture at large sends women about how all men are cavemen when it comes to sex."

"I just wish that virgin could be taken out of our vocabulary and that all this talk about “when” could be replaced with “who”. "

"...sex is just sex. Yes it’s important to relationships and should be sacred but by putting so much emphasis on my virginity and what not I was giving it undue importance."

"But regardless, as long as people are thoughtfully making their decisions to have sex the first night, wait til marriage, or anywhere in between, I think you have to respect that. It is when people have sex/don’t have sex without knowing why they are doing so or whether their reasons are good(i.e., a 15 eyar old saying “everyone else is doing it” is obviously not a good reason) that we run into problems."

Links:

Offbeat Bride

A Practical Wedding

Original post on waiting until marriage

And no, this does not mean I'm contemplating marriage or having sex any time soon. It's just an issue I like to read about and discuss :)