Thursday, October 23, 2008

Snowtoad

*stifles yawn*

Slept in Econs, surfed the net during IT, spent the rest of the classes playing in Ftz.
Two weeks before exam. LOL.

It's like premature destressing - but the teachers aren't teaching anymore anyway so I guess I don't lose anything.

Anyway, guys are assholes.
Have I said that before?
Well, girls are bitches too, so it's fair. rolleyes

Today Reuzhen, John and Wai Loen skyped me.
I don't really like them sometimes cause they are damn rude to me, but maybe that's just the way they are - I'm damn rude also sometimes so I thought I'd better not judge them too quickly.

So anyhow, they were practising CS and I snuck into their game - I changed my name earlier and it so happened that I hadn't closed the program since then so they didn't know it was me.

LOL. They were ghosting - spying on the enemy (you gain full sight after you die if the host doesn't disable the viewcam.)

And I was eavesdropping. LOL.
It took them a while to realise. I was reporting to Helyna and the rest wherever they were so we couldn't really be ambushed.

Fair's fair. They ghost, so I spy on them lor.
After a while only Zhen asked:

Are you in my game?

KANTOI!

But they blur also la. I was feeling a bit guilty before that, so I went to their base and spraypainted it.


LOL. Who else can it be laa?
They didn't notice it then it's not my fault right?
Ahah.

Anyway boys should never be rude to girls.
It's unbecoming!
(Yea yea I know it's not nice to be a girl who is rude to guys too but whatever la, double standards exist!)

Most of the ftz guys never fail to be crude. It's annoying but I try my best to ignore it. -__-
The worst part is when they don't even observe common courtesy.

That day there were this fat ugly dude sitting next to Ying (who was next to me) and she told me that he kap kei.

So shameless meh?
Anyway, kap kei is a term that Viv taught us. AHA.
I think it means peeking at our pcs.

So we were playing CS and he was on the opposite team and he kept glancing at her screen so he knew where we were all the time and he could backstab us easily. -_-
Fuck him lar. But we were more civilised so we didn't peek at his pc in return even though he didn't extend that courtesy to us.

I was damn pissed off and turned to complain to Viv.
Abuthen her face was as black as my nail polish weh.
And then I saw Julian sitting there, his ears burning. LOL.

Ok la, not burning, but they always use that to describe people in storybooks when they're sheepish and embarassed.

So anyway I knew he was doing stupid things in DotA again and I silently thanked the pc gods that I chose to teman Ying to CS instead of DotA.

Today again waaa I think I was shouting quite loudly at him - not sure, cause my headphones were on with the volume turned up.

He had a free double kill right in front of him. 2 heroes with red life - one was so low you couldn't even SEE any hp on the bar. He was playing sand king, so if he whacked once, his AoE damage would finish the other one off. FREE FRAGS!

But what does he do?
He squirms around in confusion and decides to go for the half life SUPER FAT anti-mage instead.
Needless to say he died miserably with the sound of my raised voice as some sort of a tragic soundtrack. D:

Oh well.
Anyway, why is the title 'snowtoad,' you ask me.

-____-
Cause the two little boys were calling me snowtoad cause I refused to talk.
I had a sore throat okayyyy?

Wa, they sit there talking crap for so long, only to be rewarded with the best weapon I had at the time - complete silence. -_-

"Wa, don't dare talk already is it?"
"Small kid can't talk liao?"

I tell you, guys must always act cool in front of their friends.
Die also must maintain their image.

After that I got lazy to layan their fit of childishness and I hung up on their call.

Then, they called/messaged me individually and all the sweet crap come out.

Get well soon la.
Drink more water la.
Get some sleep la.

-_-?
Boys. Asses.

But then again, we girls also suck.
HAHA.

Yesterday I was in such a bad mood.
Everyone also I lazy to layan. Even to Bryan I was a total bitch.
Lol. I think I'm bored of him already.

Sama sama la. I entertain him, he entertains me.
Bored of Jern also. neutral

I didn't play with him for two days only and he messages.:

I miss you bunnie, so long never play with me already, I want a hug!

*scratches head*

You'd think girls are the ones who would ask for hugs.
But these people... eek They emo like girls.

"Hug me."
"No."
"Why?"
"My hugs are special."
"Yerr."
"*ignores*"
"Fine la. I go off then."
"Bb."

*vanishes offline*

*appears online again 10 seconds later*

"):"
"*ignores*"
"I'm really going off now."
"Okay. Sweet dreams."

Then he really went off. Never said good night also!
D: Pfft.

Anyway, Fishie asked me not to blog about this, but I WILL.
HAHAHA.

Further proof that guys are asses.
Some guy was whining about his gf breaking up and instead of taking it like a man and keeping it to himself, he had to go and whinge about it to my friend, pretending he doesn't give a shit - it's the girl's loss blablabla.

What a retard.
mad

*distracted*

LOL. My mood to rant habis edi.
Tomorrow going to Viv's place to study with Shu Qing and Ying.
^_^

Before that, DIM SUM.
Abuthen have to wake up early, which means I have to sleep soon.
sad

Good night.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Incoming!

I just realised that it's the 18th of October already. Two things stand out:

LING'S BIRTHDAY!
(On the 20th)

And OMFG EXAMS on the 3rd of November. eek

I haven't started studying.
Oh well. Will start this weekend, I swear!

Anyway Ling said I haven't updated in a while, so here's one to satisfy you all for the time being. rolleyes
If you couldn't access my blog a few days back, it was because Nick was hunting it down and I don't want him to read it.
Don't ask how he'd be able to find it by himself - ask Ying who found it from Googling. So much for the option to pull blogs off search engines. -_-

Right now I'm waiting for my zombie map to download.
So excited. I can hear Bryan playing already. neutral
Meanwhile, I'm blogging and layaning Jern while he downloads the map as well.
He asked for hugs when I come to Penang. So I asked him to go hug Nick instead.

He was like "No! -_-"

But he looks so huggable!

"YOU go hug him la."
"Oh. Ok."
"No no wait, don't."
"-_- But you just said."
"Shi wei ni de hao de." [It's for your own good]
"Lol whatever."
"Hug me."
"But Nick sure emo."
"Hug meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."
"Aiyo okokok .___."

LOL. Like a little kid only.
Anyway my map is almost done.
KILL ZOMBIES! Not people. WAHAHA.

***2 hours later***

Omigod. I screamed twice during the zombie map. -_-

Once when it just started and it was all dark...then a zombie fell from the sky and landed in front of me.
WTF.

Another time was when swarm mode came on and 3 of the people I was walking with abruptly turned into zombies and turned on me. I was sleepy and it really shocked me, ok? sad

Anyway I played this obstacle course map with Oliver and Bryan and it was damn fun.
Firstly, the T/CTs ran without weapons, so their hands were empty and stretched out around them in this super gay-looking position - imagine weapon-carrying men running around with a ballerina's posture.

HOHO.

And I'm damn spoilt edi. Whenever I got stuck the two boys had to turn back and help me get across. HAHA. Once, Oliver had to turn off the gravity so I could make a super long jump and not fall into the water instead.

And another time Bryan had to run all the way back across a series of thin beams so that he could crouch and allow me to climb on his head to get over a pole that was blocking me. And then after that he himself got stuck there. AHHA.

Diu. It's nice to be pampered but it sucks to appear so completely inept at simple obstacle courses. -__- I mean, I made it the first time around when Oli was teaching me step by step, then when we restarted for Bryan to join us I miraculously failed EVERY course.

Wtf!

Tomorrow Oli's getting Skype too!
Then we can all bising together while CSing. X)

Oh yea, tonight I was fairly annoyed at Nick and Rick.
At first it was only mild irritation cause we were playing DotA inhouse 4v4 and after I told Zerick to -ap, he made everyone random their heroes.

Also, it was -sp mode. When the players were shuffled, it turned out extremely imba.
I wasn't happy. Tacked on with the -ar mode...I was already sulking.

Take me, sleepy + headache + haven't played in a while, Bryan (CS fella,) Jern (also haven't played in ages and wasn't good to start out with) and you have a disaster on your hands already. The last player on my team was Jie who is a pretty good player, but how could he hold up against a completely competent (as opposed to mine) team with Zerick (OMG,) Nick (works well with Rick, KC and Zhang Xian who are above average.

-_-

Basically it was 2 noobs + 1 pro + 1 blurcase vs 1 pro + 3 competent players.
And THEN, the heroes...we got one tanker 3 support. I got clockwerk and I had NO idea how to use it at all. -_-

But I wanted to be nice today so I shut up and didn't complain about the game which was doomed from the start - imba players, imba heroes. But when the creeps pushed into mid lane and were attacking our level 4 towers, I lost my temper when Nick talked back to me.

"Wei, can you guys fucking push already or not?"
"Can't you see we're trying? Do you think it's very easy with Jie in our lane?"
"FUCK YOU LA. Jie against you and Rick and KC and Zhang Xian, you still whining? Bottom and mid lane already broke and your creeps already in and you're saying YOU CAN'T PUSH? CCB bullshit la!"

We layan them damn fucking long already still wanna mega creep and insist on pushing the only lane that was being defended by Wen Jie. The creeps pushed all the way in already and they could very well end the game immediately...and instead they spent a good 10 minutes trying to break our top rax just so they could mega creep. -_-

Lansi fucks wei.
Damn aggravating.

I was so pissed off I was yelling at Jern nonstop (poor guy, noob that got in the way of my temper) and I was surprised when he didn't retaliate at all, being the hardhead he is. o.O
He was like nevermind la, blablabla, let them end it.

Me: "THEY DON'T WANNA END IT FFS!"

-_____________- What a pain in the arse wei.

Bryan also told me to chill chill, just a game, sorry he was noob blablabla.
He went to watch TV and later we played CS until we wanted to puke. o_o
I told Jon to tell Nick to not fucking talk to me at all tonight cause I was in a bad mood.

And what does he do?
Of course, ask in that condescending tone of his:

"You still angry about just now?"

FUCK LO. Obviously right? -_-
Say jor leave me alone also he cannot understand MEH?
Now I damn pissed off lor.

But then, come tomorrow you'll see I would have forgotten all about it already.
._. I haven't even had to chance to talk to KC. I miss him.
Seanie also. D:
I was too busy trying to distract myself by CSing.

Nevermind.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm just a very irritable person.

neutral

It's 5.30 am and Jern just went to nap. Society meeting at 8 am. Lol, silly fella.
Bryan KO a while ago edi.

I still can't get over the fact that I found ANOTHER who cooks, when I can't even crack an egg.
T_T Chef by profession summore. FUIYOH.

Yes, domestically impaired. That's me.
Sigh.

The mosques have also started their wailing already.
I'm going to sleep.

But I feel like reading Eclipse - I STILL haven't read the 4th book of Twilight yet. -_-
I told Nick about it AGES ago and he's read it already whereas my copy it still sitting on my shelf, shrinkwrapped.

The movie is coming out next month.
WOOWOO! On the day I'm going out with Nick and Jern I think.
But I think I'd rather go mamak stall hopping - PENANG lor wei.

Besides, Bryan already said we should go and watch it together.
I wanna call Helyna to come too! I know she loves Twilight as well and I wanna check out the CS people. ^_^

Btw, I'm babbling again if you didn't realise it already.
Normally happens due to sleep deprivation.
To make up for it, here's a nice Twilight background for your pc if you're a fan of the series.
mrgreen

Now, good morning.
Aha.

cool

Friday, October 10, 2008

Portfolio finished!

FINALLLYYYY!

After slightly over a month...although I think the actually working days were less than 10.
I feel much better now that I've done my part and gotten it off my chest.
Whether I get accepted now is all up to the uni people.

Next thing on the hit list:

STUDY!

Omg. cry
Finals in less than a month and my results are just average.
I know I say it all the time - I can do better, yet the results ALWAYS come out so-so.
-_-

My papers all ended up in the 60s (YES ENGLISH) and I got 51 for my Accounts.
What pains me is that I actually studied this time, except for IT and Accounts.
And English.
Maths...? Hardly.

WTF I ONLY REALLY REALLY STUDIED FOR ECONS.
I just realised. Fuck. Damn dense la wei.
It just dawned on me that SWARNA was at my house studying while I mumbled answers to her questions (don't know correct or not) and basically got my ass off the computer chair only every few minutes to peep over her shoulder. I think the peeping made me feel a little bit better about myself and gave me the notion that I actually studied.

Hm. I think it's because I really read the Econs text book cover to cover (except chapter 7) that I thought I studied very hard for the trials. Mana tau that's actually the only subject I really paid attention to.
confused

Well, anyway I'm happy that Jern is back to normal again.
He spent half the day rambling about how much he loves root beer today instead of moping about his life like he usually does and even said he'll buy me a root beer float when I see him.
Woowoo I love root beer! mrgreen

Oh, I just read Nicole's post on her primary school days, and I AGREE!
I was also ugly when I was a kid.

So hideous that when I look back at pictures now I laugh (if I'm in a good mood) or cringe/shudder/wince/stop breathing (in a bad mood.) Seriously, I was like the nerd of all nerds.

I had this uber mushroom hair cut, bunny teeth, an overbite, crooked glasses and was wayyy too tall and gangly for my age. I also slouched and tended to trip over my own feet. I wonder how I made friends. HAHA.

I also remember not smiling much when I was younger due to my horrible teeth and lips.
I can't believe I refused to put braces at that time, citing the common phrase 'everyone looks good when they smile.'

BULLSHIT! LOLOLOL.

How many times have you seen a cute guy/girl brooding in a corner while you stared at them, thinking how gorgeous they look. Suddenly, they turn around and look. You stiffen, embarassed to be caught looking. Then, they smile.

Your eyes bulge and you smother a gurgle from your throat as they expose their up and down and all about teeth. One tooth in front of another, one tooth turned 45 degrees to the left. *shudders*

Not that I'm saying that having ugly teeth is a crime.

However, saying NO to braces when your parents are willing and can afford is.

Totally. I thank my parents for forcing me into it.
God knows how many times a day I'd bang my head against the wall if they had given in and let me have my way.

o.O

And don't judge me for being superficial.
Looks aren't everything, you say?
Well they aren't, but they certainly ARE something.

Let's see if you could live completely at peace with THESE teeth, knowing full well you could have corrected them:


Everyone looks good when they smile. Really?

Maybe.

45 degree teeth.


Could you? Really?
My teeth were something like the last picture.
No. Uglier, even.

One day I'll bring back the mould from my dentist when it's all over and you'll see the extent of the hideousness. eek

Well anyway, I'm glad they look better now.
I'll be forever grateful to those 7 years of damnation to metal and plastic.

That's not to say I feel very pretty right now.
I mean, things have certainly changed.

I walk mostly upright now, though I still slouch when I sit.
Mom's improved IMMENSELY with the hair cutting - though I wouldn't say no to a professional haircut.
Contacts.
I'm still just as clumsy, but I no longer trip and fall - I just trip.
Also, the boys have MOSTLY caught up in terms of height, so I don't stick out like a sore thumb anymore.

Oh oh!
And people say I look more Chinese now.
o_O
Huh.

When I was in primary, people used to ask me which country I came from. -_-
Wha? Even adults used to comment that I look mixed.

I realised that I don't get that anymore.
I wonder what happened.

Did my eyes start getting smaller?
Did my nose become flat?
Or what? What?
confused

Some days I still feel ugly as hell.
So bony, with circles under the eyes, patchy skin, doughy jawline for someone so thin and hair that insists on imitating a modern art sculpture...

Dayum.

neutral...

sad...

cry.

But some days I feel pretty!
Especially if someone pays you a compliment - it just really makes my day.
I remember that day Grace and Tyranne peeped into Nick's webcam and they exclaimed excitedly in Chinese. "She's so pretty!"

Me: Wtf? -_- *looks away*

They continued with their 'wahhhh's and 'whoaaaa's until I was sure they were mocking me.
I glared at Nick's webbie until Nick moved away and their faces slowly emerged.

Fuck.
So sincere lo.

*blush*

Oh, their exclamations were also accompanied by:

"Wa, she's so skinny leh."

rolleyes Seriously, I cannot meet a single new person with someone commenting on that.

WOW!
YOU'RE SO TALL!
YOU'RE SO THIN!

...

WOW!
I DIDN'T KNOW!
I HAVEN'T NOTICED!

Thanks for your obvious observations.

Anyway, about my quest to gain weight - I'm back to 45kg.
Diuuu! That day I hit 46.5 already lo.

mad

FEED ME, PEOPLE!

I almost left out the comma, but it's late so excuse me. Good night anyway.
I'm sleepy. FRIDAY 了!
WOO!

Thursday, October 09, 2008

#650: Cheered Up!

Okay, I feel better now. The pieces for my portfolio are done - I decided to throw in the odd limerick/sappy poem in to make the confirmed 15, and add in photos and some other stuff as extra.

All I need to do now is to do short write-ups for each piece, retake some of the photographs in daylight (mom's scanner was disappointing, and only does B&W,) scrounge out the photos I want to submit, compile, organise and burn it into a CD.

Whoa. Sounds like a lot now that I list it out.
Nevermind! Skipping college again tomorrow! WHEE!

And Nick, KC, Seanie and Jern have been nice to me the whole day today so of course I feel happier. Sean Ming messaged me out of the blue asking if I felt better today. And I did!
mrgreen

Jern is messaging me 1/10th the amount he used to and I'm SO relieved.
It used to be 60-70 a day and now it's chilled down to less than 10.
*wipes sweat*
He claims I still owe him a shitload of hugs when I get to Penang, but at least no more sappy lovey-dovey shit. *wipes more sweat*

Nick is rather slow. -_-
Only today he realised that I'd given Jern that talk - that night he spent scolding/advising him...he thought Jern was just being more depressed than usual.

"OHHHH Now it makes sense when he said he'd been dumped three times already!"
"mad...Omg. You're dense."

Wait, three times?
o.O

Funfact: Jern's ex-girlfriend was named...Stephanie
lol

AHAHAAA Stephs plague his world man!

Anyway! X)
While I'm still in a cheerful mood, here's the final 2 pieces that's going into my portfolio.


I was going follow my cousin's advice and do something related to Malaysian culture.
At first I was going to do batik, but while searching for batik references, I stumbled upon Henna art and decided that it sounded WAYYY more interesting than ba-teek!

Click to enlarge to check out the details. biggrin

Really enjoyed doing it!



Okay, this is actually far from satisfactory, but I think it's cute and fair enough to be chucked into the folio.

Firstly, the cubes are not aligned properly.

Secondly, the shading is rather uneven.

Thirdly, it looks like the lovechild of a Rubik's cube and those wooden puzzle thingies you can get from Chaktuchak market in Bangkok.


But maybe that's what makes it cool. X)
I remember my cousin saying something about doing a piece to represent yourself.
Maybe create a new font for my name, or a self-portrait.

Well, I thought my initial was sufficient. And after all those complicated drawings, I thought something basic and geometrical would be a breath of fresh air.

The navy blue is supposed to be purple, I think I tweaked with the colours too much in photoshop while I was adjusting the lighting. I'll fix it tomorrow before I burn it to a CD-R.

Hmm. Simple at first glance, but when you get to know it, it can be frustrating and a total mystery. However, when you know the trick to it, it becomes fun and easy to put together.

Like me X)
AHAHAAA so paiseh to talk about myself. But selling yourself is what's required to get into these universities, so why not?

Whateverrrrr I'm glad it's over and done with. Either way, my cousin's hubby from RMIT also said that my work doesn't have to be super good - they'd have nothing much left to teach you if that were the case.

I REALLY REALLY hope I DO make it into RMIT - simply because I didn't bother to apply for any other uni. LOL. GG.

Pray for me. X)
Love you allllll!
*obviously in a ridiculously cheerful smushie mood*
rolleyes

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Cracking

There shouldn't be a reason for a 17-year-old pretty well-off girl to be cracking, but it certainly feels that way. I can't even pinpoint a single source of this growing feeling of agitation.

Maybe it's because my portfolio is due this week and I'm running out, no, I HAVE run out of ideas.

Maybe it's because I'm tired of Nick being patronizing while we play.

Maybe it's because I finally came out of my stupor tonight by bantering to him about the 6.55 changelog, and then realising he wasn't even listening when he repeated the exact same things back to me 5 minutes later in a surprised tone.

Maybe it's because although I haven't actually FAILED anything, I'm not exactly doing well by my standard.

Maybe it's because I feel a bit bad about all of us ignoring Jon the past few days when he mentioned it to me today, sounding hurt.

Maybe it's because I'm annoyed of Nick constantly being super strict about his clan's entrance/promotion/integrity and yet pretended nothing happened when Jie kicked Jern out in a fit of temper and has in fact filled the vacated Squad Leader position with a NEW member without following the necessary promotion rules.

Maybe it's because Nick KNEW I was in a very bad mood, yet asked me to go update the clan page and add the new Squad Leader to the list. -________-

Maybe it's because I'm disturbed by the fact that Jie hinted that I was cheap. It's not the first time, and God knows I've forgiven him for the previous times he flamed me because he didn't even know me.

Maybe it's because my friend that I've cared about for more than 10 years pretended not to know me AND admonished me because I left a teasing comment on his profile, just because his super-possessive girlfriend may have found it offensive - all I did was call him 'baby.' -_-

Maybe it's because although I'm still pissed off at Jern's behaviour yesterday, I kind of miss his constant checking-ins asking how I'm doing.

Maybe it's because although I'm stuffing myself to the brink of nausea everyday with proper food, I'm still losing weight and I'm afraid there may be an underlying cause.

Maybe it's because I still insist on harassing Yap due to my insecurities even though I know she's busy - this pisses me off cause I hate it when it happens to me, yet I can't keep myself from asking for reassurance.

Maybe it's because I haven't gotten over it yet after so long.

Maybe it's because I feel that I've alienated my friends through my bad behaviour/bad attitude/they've moved on to 'newer' and 'better' people.

Maybe it's all of the above.

Whatever it is, I just feel like curling up on my bed and crying myself to sleep even though I know that doesn't do any good at all - and that pisses me off even more: doing meaningless things when I should be working on my portfolio and subsequently my future in that time.

Fuck.
Damn emo tonight.
It's even worse knowing I've pushed all those that I normally talk to away.
Fuckityfuckfuckfuck.

Anyway, enough gloom for tonight.
Here's tonight's piece of work towards completing my portfolio:


Some abstract shit that I can't even explain, except for the fact that I started from the two plain lines in the middle and worked my way outwards.

Later on I incorporated mythical creatures into the...thing...and if you look closely enough, you may be able to find elements of a phoenix, a unicorn, a manticore, a gryphon and a rose to represent dryads.

Oh, and I just realised - if you look closely enough you can see the word 'gay' in it. Hmm. I wonder how that came about. o.O

Anyway, I have no idea what it's supposed to be...a motif? A tattoo? Or some abstract shit you frame and put on your wall?

What do you think? =/

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Childish tendencies

Ugh. After much encouragement/urging from friends, I broke it off cleanly with Jern.
Needless to say, it wasn't pretty.

=.=
To make a long story short, I drew the line very clearly - I'm your friend, I do care about you but don't expect anything else blablabla - and he went off in a tangent, saying that I took him too seriously, he was just playing me, don't kid myself etcetc.

Then, he changed his tone and went off on how he's going to fail his PMR, he's not even going to bother to study anymore, life is depressing, sweet dreams don't exist (after I said that to him) and so on.

When I said there's nothing I can do about all that, he went to Nick and complained that I was flirting with him too much.

CCB I wanted to slap him so badly! So thick-skinned meh? Only a week ago he was bragging to Nick how he 'snagged' me, and at roughly the same time I was trying to hold him off and ranting to Nick about what I was going to do with this little boy of mine. -_-

Every night he sends hugs and kisses and all that kind of mushiness, and all I ever did was go:

._.'' Sweet dreams, germ.

Me? Flirtation overload? Well, excuse me, bitch!

Anyway, he could tell I was fucking irritated with him, so he went off whining to Nick instead.
NICK!
-_-? He doesn't even like Nick - for some fucking retarded reason, he thinks Nick is in love with me and used to flame him behind his back every chance he got.

And OFF to Nick he went - about gloom, doom, death and destruction. I know cause Nick said Jern was talking to him and he kept sighing repeatedly while I tried to focus on my portfolio.

While I was detailing lace and Victorian hats, Nick told me he was scolding Jern hardcore and all I could muster was a mirthless snort.

I guess I was so hesitant to crush his enthusiasm because he was such a reserved, sad person when I met him and he revealed a lot of his life to me. I just listened and listened. I felt sorry. And he never failed to treat me nicely, that I don't deny.

But he is childish - it's an irrefutable fact. -.-

And it's always best to stop the nonsense before it gets too far.
I didn't bother to wait after PMR.

If he loses it and dooms himself to fail (which he basically told me he was going to do, the moment I spoke to him) - it was going to be that way before I even came along.

I'm not going to be a victim of emotional blackmail. =_=
He tried it before, by telling me that he lost his mood to study EVERY, SINGLE time I neglect to reply a text. Well, it's not my problem then if he can't focus. Swt.

On the other hand, when I bid him goodnight just now, (after Nick yelled at him,) he informed me tonelessly that he was going to study.

Which is good. *shrug*

ANYWAY, before I go off the deep end ranting about his childish episodes, here's the thingie I was working on while Nick dealt with him gao gao.


Ignore the model, she's just there to hold the dress up. I was focusing more on the details. Click to enlarge and check the lace out. (DAMN, she has big hair XD)

Oh, and the hat is slightly retarded cause it was an add-on - I felt her head was too naked to leave it be. And yea, the details were all done in a 0.1mm felt tip pen. Only the outline was penciled out - it would be too time-consuming otherwise.

=/ Not gorgeous but I don't care, time is running out. Chucking it into my portfolio anyway.
Now, good night.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Slowly...rotting...

*falls to pieces*

I spent my night stoning in a corner of my mom's friend's house/sitting next to 2 huge rottweilers + 1 horny golden retriever trying to hump a poor basset hound while desperately messaging Nick on the phone to de-bore me.

I have sent more than 1000 texts this month.
*vomits blood*

I came home feeling all enthusiastic of another gaming night, but NOOOO.

Jie was in a bad mood.
Jon was emoing.
Zerick went for supper.
Nick and Josh have guests to entertain.
Vivi was is nowhere to be found.
Jern is not someone I'd like to talk to right now (more on that later.)
Everyone else is asleep/in game.

Plus, I think I annoyed Ying to sleep by playing Minesweeper Flags on Msn.
Who asked her to pick my favourite Windows game lor...
*sticks out tongue*

Anyway, I still have no idea what to make of Jern.
-_- At times he can be so normal, like any other person I know.
And sometimes he's this obsessive emo maniac that annoys the hell out of me.

Just now I was having a hug war with Nick.

We were competing to see how many pledges for hugs we could get from members of the opposite sex. The bugger had a girl staying over and proceeded the hug her in front of the webcam, despite my yelling for the girl not to.

Lol, she's sporting though.

Anyway, I was spamming some people for hug pledges and I messaged Jern.

He said he wants to kiss me too, but my future boyfriend may not like that.
I said I'll let him whack Jern if he tried.

Jern then said that he'll return my bf to me - in pieces.

WTF?
Fucking violent sial!
T__________________________T

I was like, wtf, so violent meh?
He's like, 'it doesn't matter.' The moment my hypothetical bf lands the first punch, he's done for.

He didn't even take it back!

Everytime I feel he's normal again, he'll say some crazy shit.
Then when I ignore him cause he's getting too freaky for my liking he becomes all regular-look-I'm-a-harmless-person again.

I can't figure it out. It's like he's living in some world of his own.

Some days it seems like he's having fun trying to make me think he's obsessed with me and trying to make me fall in love with him. (Compulsive conman)
On the other hand, some days it seems like he's REALLY obsessive and believes that I truly love him back. (e.g. Freaking psycho)

Wtf.
Retarded.
But intriguing.

It's a puzzle I can't solve.
*scratches head*

He just told me that Nick can be my boyfriend.
I told him that it's none of his business. -__-

Nick openly admitted that he's jealous that I'm layaning Jern so much and paying him a bit less attention.

Siao people. Zzz.
Now Nick's been messaging me everyday as well as Jern (at the same time, wow what a surprise) so my phone bill kind of died this month.

I reply only like half of their messages, yet my bill skyrocketed.
ARGH.

But don't get me wrong, I know Nick is still truly, madly, deeply in love with Amy. He's just a bit irritated at being neglected occasionally. Needless to say, they don't really like each other.

At first it was damn flattering, two guys fighting for my attention.
AWWW HOW SWEET!

Now it's just fucking annoying.
(Still flattering, but more annoying than anything else at the moment cause I'm in a bad mood. -_-)

Jern asked me where Nick was. I replied that he was texting me.
So what did he do in response? He called me.

..............ANEBSJFBSJFHEUY now I'm listening to him blast music through his speakers.
I don't really mind, cause if there's one thing going for him, he has the same taste in music.
Abuthen I REALLY don't see what the deal is, calling me and then NOT talking.

It's kind of ridiculous, two guys fighting over someone they don't even know/haven't met.
=_=

I wish I could be a spectator when one day I turn up to meet them both and I turn out to be a pudgy, pimply, crazy-eyed, wonky-toothed 47.5 year-old, making them both run screaming off into the sunset. Hand-in-hand. LOL.

What a sight.

That would be an outdated social concern of the safety of the internet - predatory paedophiles.
Because now we all have webcams. =/

*stones at the comp*

=.=

HAHAAA I just successfully pissed Jern off.
LOLOLOL. Instantly off Skype.

Ok, I was being fucking annoying. But to be fair, I felt just as annoyed.

[02:24:50] [Stephanie] says: convenient
[02:24:51] [Stephanie] says: lol
[02:24:52] [Stephanie] says: you like
[02:25:02] Lord Skystze says: one mroe u like....
[02:25:12] [Stephanie] says: you like lo
[02:25:14] [Stephanie] says: *turns back*

Diu. Two can play the childish game. -_-

GG, he was contemplating sneaking and stealing borrowing his mom's webcam for me and I sounded SOOO appreciative.

I feel a bit better now.
And a bit guilty.
Lol. You can't have it both ways. X)

All this makes me wonder how true it is when they say 'one boy only wants a toy when another is playing with it.'

Why me, man?
I'm just this skinny undernourished girl who has a bitching temper, a tendency to slouch, swear and be downright annoying.

Oh. He's back.

[02:33:19] Lord Skystze says: fine. u win..
[02:33:27] [Stephanie] says: ...
[02:33:28] [Stephanie] says: win what
[02:33:36] Lord Skystze says: nth.ive the stupid cam
[02:33:55] [Stephanie] says: do what you wish with it

Urgh. It pains me a little to be mean, but man, whatever it takes to turn him off.
-_-

Occasionally, it's nice to be showered to attention, but not to the point you get smothered.

*30 minutes later*

Okay. I just finished webbying him.

I was feeling extremely emo so in a bid to make me feel a bit better about myself, he elaborated further on his depressing situation in life.
It's hard not to believe when looking at that cold, hard face.
But whatever, I feel much worse when I hear sad stories so I didn't exactly feel better.

*30 minutes later*

Just finished playing Rabbit versus Sheep.
Only cause he promised me we would win a best of 5.

We lost the first round but sapu-ed the remaining 4, so I feel better now.

If you don't know how Rabbits and Sheep works, basically you pick/random a hero with 4 skills to kill rabbits (if you're sheep and vice versa.) For every creep you kill, 2 spawn at the opponents base. The aim is to flood the enemy's base with 150 creeps and then you win. The warning bell with sound at 100 creeps. You can buy stuff to boost stats/buff your creeps to make them harder to kill/damage enemy heroes/stun enemy heroes.

Found a nice combo - Warden and Invoker.
Super fast creep clearing early game. He farmed and gave the cash to me, and once I was level 5 I blinked in to level the creeps/buy lizards/summon giant creeps or whatever.

Fan of knives to escape, buy lots of mana pot from shop, return to hp fountain to fight.

Keep repeating until you hear the warning bell for the other team (2v2 should be quite fast cause both the heroes are super creep clearers,) then you blink in, buy a stun (and lightning if you have really might creeps) then summon more creatures. Clear your creeps one more time and the opponents should lose.

Should. Who knows when noobs are playing against noobs?
Heh.

Oh lol.
Nick fell asleep waiting for me to reply.
I think Grace and his sis KO-ed him with their girl talk.

I wanted to be there. T_T
I asked Grace to CUBIT him.

Aha! He was squirming to get away and she pinched him for meeee X)

Pity she's going home tomorrow, she looks nice.

Shit, it sounds like I'm going to roast her for dinner or something.
Hansel and Gretel anyone? =/

Okay, I'm damn sleepy edi but feel better cause I've had my games for the night.
Hah. What a range of moods in one post.

Night.