The afterthought

Oh screw it all!

*palms forehead and throws head back dramatically*

A 16-year-old girl should not be craving affection so much, should she?
Not everyone can have childhood sweethearts that last.

*munches on love cookies from cousin's wedding*

I think I should focus on putting on some flesh first. ;D


Song of the Day:

"Save Tonight - Eagle-Eye Cherry"

Feed me people! Hehe. Buy me chocolates and candy for my birthday! ;P Nyeh.
Or actually, come share them with me. Got tons in my fridge. ^_^ Nyamyam!
(Extreme mood swings ftw o_O'')

Don't you want somebody to love?

This afternoon KC was telling me about Bay french-kissing with his girlfriend, and boy, I could definitely hear the envy he was radiating. It was dripping off his tone of voice the way fats spill out over too-tight jeans.

Apparently Bay told the girl that he had no idea how to kiss, and she respinded by pecking him on the cheek. And just like that, boom, tongue in mouth action. o_o She's damn obliging lor. And he was exclaiming over her saliva and DA-YUM how she made him feel indescribable.

My reaction was something like: Uhhhh-haaaaaaa...Bay?

Bay? The 16-year-old who acts like a 10-year-old and insists on greeting me with GHEEEEYYYYYYYY!!! every time he wants to ask me something?

It's like imagining Lucy Pevensie from Narnia making out with her boyfriend. Eee...>_<

After that KC went on in a slightly depressed tone about how he can't find a girl like that. Then he went on to rattle off a list of qualities he finds interesting in a girl.

I told him it's ok, you're still young, nothing de. You don't have to go hunting yet. Don't worry. =)

And he responded with:

I don't hunt, they come to me. I just decline them.

I gave the hugest snort ever. =_= Somehow, I find that hard to accept. *cough* Lol.
He went on, saying that when you see all your friends pairing off and couples everywhere displayingtheir affection for each other...you just can't help but feel left out.

I stressed that at 16 years of age it's their time to play, nothing serious. It's nothing to worry about - you're not socially stunted.

But silently, I agreed. Although I don't constantly crave for affection, occasionally I just feel like I need some loving.

Doesn't everyone want someone there for them when they're feeling upset?
Or someone to share good news with the moment you get it?
Or someone to just chill you out when you're pisssed?

Friends can do this too, but sometimes I just want a special someone I can hang on to at any time. It's like a security net; in case your friends are unable to be there for you, there's always that someone special to call for comfort, knowing that he or she will never REALLY get mad at you for calling them at odd hours just to be soothed by their words and mere sound of their voice.

Also, I wonder when I will catch someone's eye the way people are drawn to each other inexplicably. =/ The way Swarna is drawn to Dharshen, the way KC was drawn to his girl (who shall currently remain unnamed,) the way Ben was drawn to my sister. (Ewww.)

That person may be the only one that sees something extra in you that draws them to you like moths to a flame - but that one person would be sufficient if the attraction is mutual.

I may not be gorgeous, athletic, exceptionally intelligent, emotionally or otherwise, particularly skilled at something, have a good singing voice, funny nor entertaining. But still, if someone just sees that something they like in me, I can find a reason to love myself again.

I admit that at times I hate myself so deeply it appears irrational.
But all it takes is for someone to remind me why I am their friend at all, then I'll be alright. =)
Sometimes self-confidence is just not enough.

Sometimes I see an unattractive girl on the street with a boy clinging to her arm, obviously in love with her.
Sometimes I see people that I don't like that have girlfriends who cook for them and fawn over them even though they are blown off constantly.

I may not see anything in these people that I find attractive, but obviously there are those who do.

I have examined myself on occasion, wondering whether there is a quality of mine that stands out, and I have yet to find one that truly shines. Anything I can do, there is bound to be someone that can outdo me. Anything I possess, I'm sure someone else has it too.

In this life, some people strive to blend in with the crowd; others strive to stand out and be exceptional.

I, however, fall between these two extremes.
I just want to stand out for the people I care about.
I want to be special in the eyes of the people who care about me.
I can be an ordinary passerby to everyone else and it won't matter, as long as there exists a person who sees me as a unique being, and loves me for it.

I have had guys who are insensitive to my wants, and I've seen from KC's experiences that girls can be just as thoughtless and harsh. Viv has also stressed how most guys are extremely hypocritical and fake in their apparent affections.

The moment they discover someone better, they jump ship and swim to the shore where the new object of affection resides; you're left to fend for yourself on the rapidly sinking ship.
All this has made me lose faith - no lifejackets, no floats, nothing to save you.

Just you, only you, and time to help wash all that nasty salt away from your wounds.

._. Emo sial.

*runs around merajuking*

Still, I have said that I will wait, and I WILL wait.
No point putting effort in something I dislike.

Until someone can convince me that I am indeed special, I will continue living as a nothing-special girl checking out the cute geeks roaming the college compound. =]
(Or uni, next year ^^)

That in itself, is quite fun.

As always, the 'look but don't touch' policy applies.


Song of the Day:

"Somebody to Love - Jefferson Airplane"

Oh no, don't ask me if I'm PMSing again. Mood swings have other causes too, you know? T_T

Red alert!

There has been a breach! Alert security STAT!

XD Breach of my gums, that is.

I have NO idea when this happened, but my very first wisdom tooth has finally split my gums open and reared it's fine head in this world.

I had been having frequent headaches recently and my gums would start swelling up like a bag of chips in high altitude, but nothing would happen and the swelling would subside as quickly as it came.

At 4 am today, I opened my mouth to give my teeth a quick prebrush to get the icky remnants of Chickenator Twisties out before I brushed it properly. I ran my tongue on the surface of my teeth and felt a foreign object behind my right molar.

I tried to poke it out with the tooth brush, but to no avail.
I stuck my finger into my open mouth...then stopped.

I removed my finger and leaned in closer to the mirror, fogging it up with my breath.

...and there it was.

I counted my teeth again, just to make sure.
Start from the middle...2 incisors, 1 canine tooth, 1 premolar, 2 molars...the new tooth - my very first WISDOM TOOTH! Yay!

(I had one premolar from each side from both jaws extracted for my braces - don't think I can't count, silly!)

Only one corner has poked out so far, but I'm sure the rest will follow suit soon enough.

Does this mean I'm gonna get A20 for my Accounts now? ;D


Song of the Day:

"Rule The World - Take That"

Muaxx! Ohemgee I ish now a verry berry wise gurl! ^_^

Unexpected

This week seems fine so far. =]
Had wedding dinner on Monday night, went out with Suisui on Tuesday to the Popular bookfair @ KLConventionCentre. Today I went ice-skating + movie with Sherturtle, Jon and Lillian. ;D

It would be so like me to fall down flat on my butt within the first 5 minutes, wouldn't it? =_=

#1 My skate was loose and my ankle didn't feel too good. I left the rink to retie my laces twice.
#2 I STILL can't brake in time - there were a couple of people in front of me...and ok, I don't really know what happened. -.-
#3 I'm a born klutz. =/

T_T
But ok la, I was more surprised than hurt. The only injuries I brought home today were the two bruises at my calves below my ankle where the shoes cut into my flesh. That can't be helped. =( At least I didn't get my skin scraped off my heel like Sherm's. Ouch. (I wore thick woolly socks ;D So comfy!)

And surprise, surprise. While digging for my woolly socks this morning, I stumbled upon a pair of old gloves. Perfect!
The price of gloves has increased from5 to 8 ringgit and they are absolutely hideous! I don't care how much Jon like them. T_T Tiger or bumblebee, indeed. Horizontal stripes make your hands look fat! ;P

I wonder if anyone has ever gotten their fingers sliced off in the rink before. =/
Somehow I think if a person's fingers are run over by a pair of ice-skates, they'd be crushed anyhow - gloves aren't going to stop that from happening.

But oh, maybe it'll prevent the fingers from being severed altogether. ^^'' What's still attached can be fixed right?

And you should've seen Sher's gloves.
o_o
One side was a white glove that I used to wear for band practice - the mickey mouse type; the other side was his dad's...golf glove?

Shows how far we go to save 8 bucks, lol.
The last time I didn't have any that fit, I took a pair of undersized gloves and sliced the tips off - fingerless gloves!

But of course, only after I did this did I realise that doing so totally defeated the purpose of wearing gloves into the rink in the first place. =(

Oh well. And I guess I wasn't pleasant company today (again la omg maafkan saya -.-) as I was stoning most of the time. 5 hours of sleep man! I was up til 5 something skyping with KC again and my alarm woke me up at 10 (only to be slapped a couple of times for that precious extra 9 minutes of sleep x 2.)

And of course, I was late. =_=
I'm so so sorry! I don't know what came over me. I just woke up and rolled over.

"Oh screw it, a few more minutes won't hurt."

By the time I actually rolled out of bed, all psyched to go skating, I realised that I was supposed to call mom to send the driver back. And I had to wait for him after that. =_=

And THEN, I got lost finding the entrance to the rink. I mean, I had no difficulty in finding the rink.

I stood there watching Sherman and Lillian for a while before circling the floor above figuring how to get down - do I take the lift or the escalator opposite or the regular stairs? The place looked different. I took the stairs down and found out that they moved the entrance to the opposite end of the rink. =_= More circling. Should've taken the escalator down.

And THEN when I arrived, I saw the Zamboni prepped and ready to go.
Sucks. I had to wait some more before I could skate.
Sweet. Fresh ice for me.
I collected my skates and laced them up and watched the two skate a few more rounds. You guys didn't see me, did you? ._.

Haha, anyway when they reopened the rink, the entrance was crowded due to many people trying to get in at the same time, but wobble and block the way. =_=

Being a noob myself, I needed some support to enter the rink, so I grabbed a young girl by the shoulders and ussed her as my support. ;D She just looked at me bewildered. And off I went! It felt good, after I managed to steady myself a bit. I think the last time I went skating was with Sunshine AGES ago. Or Irene? I can't remember.

I DO remember crashing into lots of people though.
I managed to avoid that today. =) Yay.

And I probably should stop blogging at 3 am.
This post has gone nowhere so far, and I don't think there really is a point to it. =x
Although I'm mostly nocturnal, my brain activity normally slows after 2.30 am. I feel like I'm talking in circles. @@

But as I started this blog mostly to chronicle my daily life and not to entertain, I guess it's still ok from that point of view. =]

Today, we watched What Happens in Vegas.
Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher. Neither of which I was a fan of, but the movie was funny. Not super hilarious, but it was worth watching at least once. And of course, you could predict the end from the start. But that's why we all love romcoms, don't we?

Viv is going to smack me. She's asked me to watch it with her.
But I'm sure she has lots of puppies to watch with her, and pay for her too, right? ;D
How could I pass up this oppurtunity?

At least I didn't fall asleep during the movie. =_= That would seriously suck - I guess I wasn't THAT tired. Just too tired to initiate conversation. Staring into blank spaces seemed preferable at the time.

I must stop STOP sleeping 5-6 hours before going out with someone!
That day when I went out with Suisui also I was so groggy. =_=
Was playing the 2 boys again - till the wee hours of the morning.

Sigh.

This is the only time I can do it ma. And I love playing with them. I think I laughed so much tonight my intestines have curled into a tight, knotted ball.

Nicky! And his mini-DarthVader voice!
XD KC and I couldn't stop laughing long enough to actually decipher what he was saying.
Nicky's comp is in the hall outside his parents' room and his mom appears to be a super light sleeper. Although headphones helped GREATLY, he still has to speak in whispers to avoid waking her up.

And some mics just don't DO whispers.
Hence, the arrival of baby Darth Vader! XD

Did I mention that KC giggles like a girl?
HAHAHA! I must learn how to record voice conversations and post his girly giggle here. =_=
I should even make it my ringtone.

"OMG KC don't giggle! It's so gay!"
"What? You're giggling too!"
" Boys don't giggle. I can giggle! I'm a girl."
"No you're not!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT?!"
"Heeeeheeeeeeheeeeeeeee!"
"Sissy boy =_="

But what can I say?
His laugh is infectious - I scooted back my chair to allow for more convulsions while laughing and nearly fell off. =_= Which made them laugh even harder.

Sniff.
Skype rawks. ;D

End of randomness.


Song of the Day:

"Fall to Pieces - Velvet Revolver"

Hm. Nice day. =]

Wedding bloopers

*Updated: With pictures! Sorry about the blurness. Halfway through I changed modes and unfortunately my phone doesn't do macro. ^^"'

I went for my cousin's wedding on Monday night, and the place was gorgeous. ;D

It was at Summer Palace and the decor was simple but nice.


There were rose petals strewn all over the VIP tables (I'm a VIP! ;D) and you know how I LOVE roses. I kept picking them up, sniffing them and nuzzling my nose into them. ^^ So soft!

And the doorgift wasn't some lousy porcelain ornament or cheap fruitcake (I HATE fruitcake) - it was a small jar of butter cookies with sugar icing that the bridegroom's mother baked! It was delicious - I snuck a few into my growling tummy; you know how late these Chinese weddings start.

100% HomeMade

101% Baked With Love

Special Edition for
The Wedding of Kevin & Candice
26th of May, 2008

There was another version of the labels, but unfortunately I didn't take a picture of it, and mom's and my jar had the same label. =[

Balloons! Oh, balloons!
I love balloons! ;D I don't exactly know why, but they are so happy-making.
They just float around aimlessly.


There were a couple hundred helium balloons bumping the ceiling gently, shaken by the air-conditioning. Long trails of golden ribbon hung down from the balloons, filling the room with a cheery, festive atmosphere.

And YES! Beryl's chocolate instead of fruitcake!
I love love. ;D


Maroon napkins, pale gold table cloth and white chairs.
A bouquet of carnations (also one of my favourite flowers, except for the smell) sat as the centrepiece of our dining tables.


Soft music played in the background: Michael Buble and the like. And MUSE! OMG yayyyy =x I told you Unintended was such a romantic song.

My cousin looked so pretty in her cheongsam - one of the few dresses of the night.
Her classmate and one of her best friend's designed it. (TOA ftw!)
The groom also looked handsome, in a young, la-la kind of way. =]

And since they were both young, you can forgive them for the few bloopers that happened throughout the night.

During the champagne-pouring ceremony where you're supposed to pop the cork off the bottle and pour it into a pyramid of wine-glasses (champagne in wine-glasses? -.- I guess you can't exactly stack champagne flutes) this is what happened:

Kevin, the groom, shook the bottle hard and the cork fell off in an extremely anticlimatic manner. His hand was drenched in champagne.

Candice, the bride - my cousin, which I prefer to call Wai Wai ;D - was more aggressive. She shook the bottle and it popped prematurely - before the host asked them to.

The cork jetted off and hit her mother in the face. LOL.
Only on the cheek though, so it was all good except for perhaps some smeared foundation? =x

Seems that violence runs in the females of my family.

After the poured the wine - a tad too fast, almost all spilled and the bottom glasses were nearly empty - they took two glasses in preperation to drink with their hands intertwined. ^^

The groom curled his arm and placed the glass near his lips...and my cousin did the same.
Pointed it at his mouth that is.

He looked so befuddled with two glasses pointing in his face that I burst out laughing.
My cousin hastily retracted the glass towards her lips instead. =x

There was a horrible scare during the dinner as one of the elderly ladies sitting at the table (I'm not sure if it was the bride or groom's grandmother) fell off her chair and onto the floor.

My eyes widened in horror as I saw her laying on the floor.
Heart attack? Choke? Stroke? My mind was flooded with all sorts of horrible notions as my relatives gathered around to help her. Children rushed forward, giggling at the spectacle.

But it turned out that she had simply lost her balance and fallen off the chair.
An 80-something-year-old wrinkled lady who didn't speak at all - she looked so frail that I was afraid she would be hurt.

But she looked fine.
When they placed her back on the chair, she looked like she had no idea what was going on at all and leaned forward, picking at her food.

What happened next made me snort in amusement, however.

The hostess of the dinner took the lady's cardigan, wrapped it around the back of the chair and tied it to the grandma's waist so that she wouldn't fall off again. Like a child with a seatbelt! >_<

It was touching when my cousin dedicated a special thank you my dad and mom for helping her out in her rebellious days.

It sucked, however, when my mom promptly burst into tears. =_=
I sat there nibbling awkwardly at a mushroom as my uncle and auntie and my cousin rushed over to comfort her. I felt close to tears myself, but thankfully I possess more self-control and reached for my wine glass and emptied it.

A balloon floated down from the ceiling and rested I my lap.
I took it home. Mom said I was red in the face from to much alcohol.
I said 'Nonsense! I'm not red at all!' and promptly burst into giggles.

-_______-

I was still emo about the mom-bursting-into-tears thing that when I went home I made KC skype me and talk to me until I felt better. I was happy that he layaned me, although he had no idea what was wrong. (Nic was no where to be found - he took an early night)

All in all, the wedding was a nice affair. ;D
I liked her outfits and the picture slideshow and the disco ball!


However, some of her friends were dressed in la-la outfits that looked like clubbing attire.
That, I would have done away with. Mini-skirts and tights and gunny-sack dresses? Please. -.-

But as I wasn't exactly in a proper dress myself, I can't say anything further. ^^''
I wore a clean white shirt and black slacks, heels and painted my nails bright red for the occasion. I even combed my hair! I chewed off my lipgloss within 10 minutes of exiting the car, so I guess that didn't count.

To my surprise, Aunties Jaso, Mala, Gertrude and Lat were also present.
They looked at me critically as I strode in (feinting confidence although I was terrified of falling in my heels -.-)

They studied my slut-red fingernails.

"You've come a long way, Steph."

They studied my black toenails.

"Look at that...vampire colour on her toenails! Oh my goodness."

They checked my outfit out.

"You're so tall and thin!"

I grinned, lifted my leg up and wiggled my near-3-inch heels at them. (5 foot 11 ftw! LOL)

They finally looked me in the face, and I guess they liked what they saw.

"You're getting much prettier nowadays."

;D Eureka!
Not that I'm super pretty or anything...please take note that these ladies have known me since I was a mere child of 7 years.

A girl that was mischeivous, dorky, tomboyish, had braces and thick glasses, bony, pimply, gangly, slouchy, scowling, greasy mushroom/salad bowl haircut, rainbow coloured toenails, and had a tendency to wear a baggy t-shirt and jeans/cargo pants to formal events.

Compare this to a fairly well groomed girl of 16 (I combed my hair for goodness sakes!) in a proper white shirt, NOT jeans, red-painted nails, contacts and partially chewed-off lip gloss standing up straight in 3-inch sandals. With a smile to boot. (What a relief from my usual blank/scowling/brooding face!)

After not seeing them and their children (they're my friends parents) for roughly 4 months, I guess they must've thought college had changed me.

Truthfully, they've just never seen me dress well. ;x
Muhaha, this is just the beginning!
I'm wearing a full-length dress for the groom's-side dinner!

*evil laugh*

Ignore the bones and I think I'll look ok. =)
Hopefully I'll put on enough weight to look presentable for prom. T_T Feed me, people!

Mom wants to let me wear her maroon lace wedding cheongsam, but I think I'll save that for a special occasion. Like my own wedding, for example, or my sister's wedding!

Okay, good night.
Man, tomorrow I'm going to die on ice. (Ice skating ftw!)

I will update this post with a few (very few) pictures tomorrow - I didn't take any after the dinner started. -.-

As for my birthday wishlist that I've been bugged to compile, I'm going to procrastinate until probably after my birthday.
Damn lazy la...surprise me, friends! ;D

You don't even have to buy me a present, actually.
Just grace me with the pleasure of your company during these holidays and I'll be more than satisfied. Hehehe.

Lol, Nicky is already counting down my birthday and I haven't even started. =_=


Song of the Day:

"Thank You for the Music - ABBA"

Days to Stephanie's 17th birthday: 8
There! A countdown! :D

Ka-boom!

19-7 Techies!

;D 2nd playing, still so a bit noob about the locations. I have yet to venture into neutral camps to plant - only at runes, slopes and the main lanes.

I'm constantly reminded that I'm still noob by KC - who else is going to keep me grounded? =_= And he has even more satisfaction in rubbing this fact in because he scored 21 kills with his Morphling. But he died! I didn't die at all! (Save for suicides T_T)

But however syok the score may seem, it was all due to the fact that NO one bought a gem nor did they invest in wards. =_=

Troll, Darkterror, Vengeful Spirit, Sniper: Bow to me, o tofu late gamers! xD

I think they warded once, but I just blew the mines up in their faces, oh well.
And I've learned that neutrals are the way to go - besides Remote Mines in main lanes.
Mining at runes only works well in the first 10 minutes or so, unless you have a stupid noob who doesn't learn his/her lesson soon enough.

And OMG I must stop missing suicides! T_T
My calculations are all off. *frowns*
I missed many a double kill thanks to me sucky maths.

And who could forget the time I planted roughly 7 proximity mines and 2 remotes, only to have Axe step on ALL proximity mines save for ONE and walk away with about 80 hp?
I was screaming like hell into the Skype and Nicky and KC were laughing like donkeys. *growls*

It's so fun spreading your mines around too. ;D
Early game it's fun to place about 4 mines at the rune spawning spot, and another 3/4 up the ramp back to the enemy's base.

It's so awesome seeing them heave a sigh of relief - then BOOM!
Ahahaha! I have sadistic tendencies.

The part where sniper escaped with a smidgen of hp left...he ran all the way down middle lane. My teammates failed to chase the BoT/SnY sniper...KABOOM!

"Diu!"

;D

Also great is mining all the escape routes down middle lane.
Blow them up with 7/8 Remote mines in the middle, and finish off stray heroes one by one, wherever they run. Mwahaha!

But really, I have no idea what to do if they ever bought a gem. They did once - I just begged KC and Nicky to hunt him down and destroy it, which they obliged. =]

As for wards, I guess we could counter-ward/gem. *sniffs doubtfully*

I hope to have more ap games. ^^ I want to improve my Techies. Finally I've learned to use a hero where I can stay out of battle. This is good when I'm in no mood to fight, or am sleepy and have slow reflexes. (Though I have missed a few suicides before HAHA)

And there was once I shared controls with WY, and forgot to disable it after that.
He suicided my hero for me. =_=

Me: @(&#^@%&^ What happened???
He: I helped you boom : )

=_= Don't you just love childish people?
Lol.


Song of the Day:

"Independent Women - Destiny's Child"

Boom boom ;D I have also learned how to play Lina Viv's way.
Of course my stuns are still a bit off, but I'm learning. ^^ Bottle-BoT-Hex ftw!

*_*

I love it when people feel indignant on my behalf (even when I'm not.)

I hate it when people stand idly by when people are hurling disrespectful remarks at you.

A few days ago, I was playing with KC and I had to tab out to off some of my programs as my computer was lagging badly. In my absence, a few of my opponents were being extremely derogatory.

fuck la, lagger
wait please, she tabbed out to off some progs
she?
no, he =_=
fuckable =]

Of course, by the time I tabbed back into the game, I had misssed this whole exchange and had to check the chat log to see what actually when down in the 2 minutes where I was gone.

I was like, oh, well.

shut up please. insult girl is it? wanna say it then say it to my face please. no balls to do so?

The Techies kept quiet.

=] thought so.

No response. =x

KC was raving about what an idiot he was.
I tried to chill him off - no brains, no balls, typical DotA-lalas, no biggie.

We must kill Techies.
Why?
I hate him.
Aiyo, why la?
Can't you see? He just insulted you! He HAS to die.
Chill la, they memang nothing better to say one...
I don't care, he was so rude to you.
Ahahaha. Okay okay, we'll kill him later, ok?
That bastard. -.-

I felt amused that he was so worked up when the insult wasn't even directed at him. But yea, Techies managed to kill me a few times, due to the insane lag - it wasn't fixed even after I closed my programs - I couldn't run when he came to suicide. -_-

But yea, KC managed to kill Techies once and I could hear grim satisfaction in his voice.
And how could I not smile at that?

=3

I have been christened the ugly duckling.
o.o

steph sounds like...little duckling XD
girls no sleep = not pretty
not pretty duckling...byebye :D
bye ugly duckling
xD let the white duckling abandon : )
little black duckling you are ^^!

Amusing little kids who play on GG. o_O''

He must be what...12? Or a girl?

KC typed:

Are you 12?
Nono, I'm 10!
Close enough ._.

After the game he messaged me.
He's 17, stays in Selangor and his name is Woon Young.

Me: =_=?

More like 7, if I may say so. Wery wery Young.

your mom is better off being a prostitute

What would YOU say to an insult like that?
My friends and I would normally verbally murder them for that, however, little boy chose another approach.

your mom isn't any better off : (
cursing people's mommy is a sign of sickness
you don't have enough mommy love : (
awwww

I just started laughing.

The opponent just responded by repeating himself:

your mom is a prostitute

And of course, after gaining no flurry of outrage and explosion from his intended victim, his retort only seemed weak and unoriginal.

mommy doesn't love you
nvm, i love u : )

Lol, I love it when someone can keep a cool head despite being provoked.
Most of us feel that there is a need to defend ourselves or our family's honour - but what, really, is there to defend against people who are not well brought up themselves?

I look forward to gaming with the little-supposedly-17-year-old-boy tonight. =]


Song of the Day:

"Objection - Shakira"

I bought 3 manga at the Popular book fair @ KLCC today!
27.80 in total - you can't even buy one volume at Borders with that amount of money. ^_^

I think...

I think I need a haircut. I can't stand my hair all unruly and sticking out in 27 different directions. But at this rate, I'm never ever going to grow my hair out. =_=

What happens after you die?
Is there an afterlife?
Is there reincarnation?
Or is there simply nothing?

When I was young I used to be terrified that there should be nothing after you die.
I mean, look at all the lives around you - so many, so different. Don't I get to try any of them out after I die? =/ What if you're just a spirit floating around endlessly for millenia to come - hell, you can't even die of boredom since you're already dead.

I hate being bored. To think that I may be bored for millions of years - floating around in the ether - until I find some body to be reborn into just makes me ill.

When I was younger I had these theories about when a person dies, he or she just hops on into the next world, the next life in the endless cycle of...er, recycling souls. Maybe there's a world completely different than ours now.

Maybe there is a third gender.
Maybe there are more colours.
Maybe we have different senses.
Maybe we are telepathic.
Maybe there is no such thing as pain.

Who knows?
It's part of a child's life to fantasize about these things, and I was no exception.
Admit it, it's an intriguing topic to think about.

After years of continuous development of science, there has yet to be solid proof of what happens when a person's vital signs cease.

What if you lose all sense of identity, all your memories, all your feelings of love towards your loved ones...and just start again? A blank slate, wiped clear of all traces of the past.

What if this life is merely our first?
What happens when we have a second life, or third, or fourth?
Do we get to retain our memories?
Do our personalities change?
Will we fall in love with the same wandering soul?

Or is there just nothing?
Nothing but a deep void where your soul is destroyed and does not exist in the world anymore?
Where would our conscious thoughts go?
Will I still be able to think like I am thinking now?

How about people who are in comas?
It seems that they are barely alive - their body only maintaining the minimum requirement to keep the physical body functioning.

Machines do not register any sign of brain activity.

Are they alive, or are they dead?
The body is barely alive, but is incapable of any independent movement or thought.

Is the person's soul roaming about the atmosphere?
In a different plane?
In a different world?
Is it merely hibernating?
Is it trapped inside the host body, silently screaming and clawing to be released from its earthly prison...but to no avail?

The last thought scares me.
It scares me more than I can describe.
What if it happens to you?

What if you had to lie in a single position indefinitely, unable to see, unable to move?
Maybe you could hear and smell; maybe all your senses are numbed.

Would you be able to sleep, or is sleep merely a physical condition induced by the brain?
Since the body's already asleep, are you doomed to be forever awake in helplessness?
Unable to choose to live or die.
To have your entire life - eating, shitting, bathing - controlled by family members or by medical staff paid to do their job - to keep your soulless, immobile shell alive.

Could you manage to lie still for 70 years until your body naturally disintegrates and releases your soul to higher ground?
Or would you succumb to insanity and turn into one of those mythical spirits portrayed in many a horror movie, eternally seeking revenge upon those who would not let you go while you were still alive?

Wtf, I'm scaring myself.
I shouldn't think too much.

I like purple nail polish, eyelash curlers and stuffed unicorns.

There, I feel a whole lot better now.


Song of the Day:

"Warning - Incubus"

Storybooks do this to you. -.- Thought-provoking, indeed.

Sleepy...depressing thoughts

Every muscle in my body tensed up as yet another arrow missed its mark.
This is not regular noobness. This was the result of the horrible fact that I will be lonely these holidays sinking in slowly.

And also, sleep deprivation.

I was up til 5 something in the am, and I didn't have my afternoon nap today. Instead, I chose to bug Chia for a game. He had one last slot for me and I took it without further thought.

And oh, how I fed today!

Glorious suicides, muddled leaps and feikei arrows galore!

Half the time I didn't even know what I was doing. For heaven's sakes, I leaped in the middle of a battle that I could have won.

"WHY DID YOU LEAP?"

I didn't bother replying immediately, knowing that saying 'I have no idea' would probably incense him more.

Instead I waited for a quiet moment to message him privately and apologise for my utter noobness. I wasn't feeling well.

He said, no, it's ok; he even fired back a retort when the enemy started teasing my Mirana's lack of skills.

But no, I don't think he'll ever play with me again voluntarily - not after the way I screamed at him yesterday. And I don't think I'll ask him to play with me again, out of shame - look at the way he treated me with a level-head while all I could do yesterday was yell incessantly.

Although I'm glad to have my living space back after Viv and Swarna went home after living in my house for a week, I feel an immeasurable amount of dread fill my stomach.

The holidays are here, and I almost wish that I were still in college - even if I have to sit for more tedious papers just to interact with other people my age. Not that I talk to them on a regular basis, but I like just having company around to fill the silence that I experience when I'm home alone.

Sui and B's holidays have yet to start - A-levels, grr.
Ling's term JUST started.

Viv asked me to follow her to Singapore to watch the DotA tournament, but I have to follow mom to Melaka instead. =_=

I have 2 wedding dinners for the same cousin to attend, and I have only one dress that I'm not sure I can fit into.
(Heaven forbid that I've lost weight and the dress suddenly falls off while we're doing the yam-seng, leaving me standing there with nothing on but my underwear and a wine glass in my hand.)

I don't know about my other friends, but it seems that everyone who has asked me out has made plans for the weekends - all 3 of which have been taken up by plans of my mom.

...

Looks like these 2 weeks I'll be staying at home with the computer and piano for company.
*heartbreak*


Song of the Day:

"LSF - Kasabian"

I don't even think I'll have a party. No mood.
I shall wait until jie jie comes home.

-apdmwtf mode ftw!

All Pick/Death Match/WTF!

Lol. I was stuck playing with KC cause Nicky had stormed off in a huff after I starting my screaming session.

The game started out with KC being in a supremely bad mood, followed by Nicky.
When my bad mood settled in, they put theirs aside to try and soothe me instead.
=_= Is my temper that terrifying?

Relax.
Don't stress.
It's just a game.
Don't emo.
He can't help being stupid.
Have some ice cream.
Chill laaaaa!

I ended up muttering to myself the rest of the game and when Nicky wanted a rematch I blew him off.

"Go sleep la!"

He left.
T_T

Temper is a horrible thing. Sorry Nickyboy. =(

Anyway, KC and I played -apdmwtf mode after that.
=]

So syok! Long time never play jor.

I picked Tinker. FTW MAN!
(Until I accidentally walked too near Tiny and got permastunned to death. -.-)

Another owning hero is Lanaya.
Get a blink dagger.
On refract, blink in, meld, attack, meld, attack until opponents die.

Of course, I got owned by Dragon Knight who flamed me to death.
KC was using Phantom Lancer - he owned them all. Lol. No one could find the real one.
His images ended the game.

Besides that, Naga Siren shouldn't be underestimated.
Images + critical and permanet ftw. Add on your ulti whenever you're dying...Heh.

KC tried Omniknight. The enemy picked Rooftrellen. =_=
KC died the second he forget to repel - Death Prophet silenced him.

Enemy took Akasha - seemingly undefeatable (Silencer was used already)
She was a major pain in the ass.
She killed me so many times, I couldn't count.

Blink, scream, scream, scream, blink, wave, wave, wave, wave, blink.
Omigod la.
We were SO lucky that she was greedy and followed my to my level 4 towers which killed her.

Anyway, we had so much fun that KC hosted another game (After everyone else left. 2v4 - leavers - they made us stay and we owned then they left. -.- Noobs.)

I picked Tinker again, this time being careful not to go near any heroes.
First item was boots, to run.
Up Missile, then March of the Machines alternately.

When you see a hero, spam missile infinitely until they die or run back.
Don't chase - if you accidentally get stunned while running up slope, it's the end of the road for you.

Just spam March of the Machines - once forward, once backward. It's more than sufficient to get you the whole creep wave. ^_^ If you still feel insecure, spam one right and one left just to be safe.

Next item, important: Wards!

Observer wards.

Ward your neutrals and the river. 4 is enough for you to go hunting.
You see a hero, go immediately and spam them to death from the fog. They won't even see you, cause you have the upper hand with your wards. =]

If you're unlucky (or so you think) the enemy may pick Silencer to counter you.
Permanent silence.

You start crying.
What am I going to do? NOOOO!

KC and I gave up hope for a while.
We ran around in circles - the enemy were Silencer and Leshrac.

Couldn't even go near them. -.-
He was using warlock. Both of us spammers.

As we planned our next move, they were mowing down our towers.
He spammed his blink dagger for fun, while thinking.

I bought a blink dagger as well. =]
No cooldown.

CHIONG!
2 ranged heroes, infinite blink, helpless Silencer: GG!

*blink*
*whack*
*blink*
*whack*
*blink*
*whack*

2 on 1, he had no chance. =]
His teammate didn't even TRY to come and help. He just stood there, running in circles, obviously panicking. I chased after him and finished him off. MWAHAHAHA!

Upgrade to Boots of Travel: You're all set.

With your infinite teleport, spammable spells, blink dagger and wards; no one should be able to sneak up on you and own you. ;D

Oh, by the way, Necrolyte was a PAIN in the ass.
The infinite heal was GAY. And the constant ulti...permastun =_=

KC and I had to gang him in the forest.
His juggernaut spun - no ulti NYEH NYEH and I stayed well out of his range.
After much ado, he finally died. -.-

Oh yes, juggernaut.
o_o You should watch KC do his Yurnero.
Permanent Omnislash.
I have NO idea how he died -.-

But the spin, heal and omnislash makes him super hard to take down.
I dread fighting him with my Tinker. o_O

And I managed to kill Terrorblade with my Tinker!
HAHA.

He had roughly 40 images in one lane, and creating more per second.
I was like, man, how am I gonna hit the real one with 2 missiles at a time?
He can spawn images faster than I can kill one.

March of the Machines to the rescue!

Spam left, right, up, down.
Rinse repeat.

The lane was CRAWLING with machines. Not one millimeter was spared.
Eventually my missle found the correct one.
Wicked Sick! XD

We were lucky not a single Zeus made it to level 6.
They were all so stupid. -.-
SURE got someone who picked Zeus first.
At level 1, my Tinker mowed him down easily. ;D

Oh yeah, spectre past level 6 is horrible too. =/
FATAL ERROR!

Hahaha. The game died. Too many spells spammed at the same moment.
But it was fun! No rules. =x

Wards ftw!

***

Oh yeah, Tung Herr finally delivered his promised game.
-ap mode.

And he picked my tiger.
I was like:

TH YOU STOLE MY TIGER GEI WO!
Lol, okok, you pick a hero for me can?
Ok. What do you want?
Eh, I dunno. You use something else can?
...aiyo fine fine. =_='

Anyway, I think maybe 2 of hiw arrows actually hit somebody (who wasn't moving,) and KC was all for banning him at the end of the game. =/

I saved the game! For once!
HAHAHA!
I told them, screw you all la, I wanna go farm. You all can suicide for all I care. -.-
Sniper was like diam la bitch.
I told him if he stopped feeding then I'll gladly diam. =]

He shut up immediately.

Ya man.
Medusa with Orchid, Butterfly, Treads ftw.
Game ended before I finished my hex. ^_^

KC complained that I ALWAYS get Orchid for Medusa.
I'm like why not?
Sure, it doesn't give damage, but the attack speed...whoa.
And the mana regen is gay. You can totally tank.
And the Soul Burn...FTW MAN I'M TELLING YOU.

I murdered Gondar so many times I feel happy just recalling every moment.

LOL. I was so lansi that game until TH went all sarcastic on me.

Wa, you so pro la. Don't have you we all die lo.

Walao, I scolded him! XD
I'm like ok. I won't come. See how you all die.

And they really died wor!
HAHAHA.
Spiritbreaker owned all of them. Coupled with Vengeful Spirit - the whole battlefield was a mass of confusion, and permastuns.

Only when we looked like we were starting to lose, I went to help a bit.
Purge someone, Soul Burn someone, whack a few people, spam Chain Lightning.
Can jor wor. =O It's so nice to feel needed. And then I start to lansi HAHA.

Normally I won't lansi people, especially since I'm still quite noob.
But if you ever give me the oppurtunity to do so...

=x

The sniper couldn't stop ks-ing my creeps.
Anyone who has ever played with me knows that fact well.
And the host...the stupid host refused to help me when I was fighting 3 on 1.

...

If he came, we definitely could have won. -.-
I died, with 3 heroes at half-life.
Where was darling Troll?
FARMING NEUTRALS A FEW INCHES AWAY AT FULL LIFE!

RAWR!

I can tank like crazy lo. If he rampaged in on melee...GG. TRIPLE KILL!
But no. He ignored me and continued to farm. =_=

= I emo gao gao.

Mwahaha. I let them die so many times until I also syok sendiri. ^_^v

I must have seemed like a total bitch that game.
;D
Only KC who was Skyping with me knew that I wasn't really fuming and vengeful - just annoyed and having my bit of spite. (I mean, hey, they called me a bitch when I did absolutely nothing, so I'd better deliver the goods right?)

Lol, I kena lecture from KC.

"Always Diffuse (Purge) first. Always ALWAYS!"
"Yes boss. Sorry. T_T I went and silenced first cause it's Gondar ma..."
"DIFFUSE FIRST! ALWAYS!"
"Ok ok ok ok ok ok! Waaaaa...kena marah d. -sniff-"

Looking back, I was owning not because I was pro. (Not at ALL, I still screw up a LOT. The purge/silence sequence, for example.) It was only cause no one ever thought to aim me: the highest damage outputter. HAHA.

I mean, they tried once, and I escaped with 41 hp while KC mowed the rest of them down.
=) Lose-lose situation, haha.

200+ damage per hit at godly speed. Whew. Add in those extra 75% arrows and you have: triple kill!

Heehee.
I'm so self-indulgent with all these posts.
But nevermind, I'm the only reading them until the end, so it's okay!


Song of the Day:

"Crash - Gwen Stefani"

HOLIDAYS!

Abused!

-sniff-

Tell me again, why do boys like to hit girls?
Have they not outgrown that practice yet after all these years?

I got punched not once, not twice, but THREE times by the same guy today!
What is WRONG with you people?

Yes, yes, I know boys like to greet each other hello with a friendly punch on the arm sometimes, but didn't you know that you should not hit girls anymore the moment you hit puberty?

You don't know your strength any more. =_=

The moment Econs - my last paper! - was over I turned around to talk to Viv, who was sitting in the row to my left. My elbow was on the table behind me. While I was in the middle of the conversation...

-punch-

"Ow! What was that for?"

I turned around and gave Kenny an injured look, after he punched me twice - first softly, then harder.

"Oh...er..."

*pauses to think*

"...cause you bully me ma!"
"-.-? Bullied you? Since when?"
"Neh...that day DotA la, you bullied me..."
"Wha...so you have to hit me?"
"Ahaha...ya la..."

He looked embarassed and I softened a bit.

"Anyway, how was the paper?"
"The paper ah...you can do or not?"
"Can gua...only the last question I have no idea what they want."

He mumbled some reply, and satisfied that I have layaned him enough, I resumed my discussion of the Econs paper with Viv.

Walaoeh, who knew that roughly 10 minutes later, he'd punch me AGAIN?

This time, I was in the corridor peering at the open Econs text book Viv was holding. Ying and Viv were laughing at some stuff they wrote in the paper when Kenny shuffled up to us again. He stood in our circle for a little while, appearing to study the text as well.

After a few moments.

-punch-

I gave him a confused glare.

"Can you please STOP hitting me?"
"Eheheh..."
"That really hurt, ok?"

I can't remember much else, but I remember I was quite annoyed and that he was muttering some weird reason for having the compulsion to hit me multiple times in the space of 15 minutes.

Swt. Why do weird things happen to me?
o_o''

Oh, did I mention that this is the same guy who 'tried' to hit me last week, but failed miserably and instead causing Julian, Danish and I to succumb to fits of laughter?

Julian and I were sitting behind Danish and Kenny.
Kenny hit Danish on the arm, and Danish protested.

"Wei, pain ah. See, red already!"
"What did you do to him?"
"Neh, I hit him like this..."

He held up a closed fist with his middle and index fingers sticking out, firmly pressed together, and did a mini-karate chop in mid air.

"Yala! So painful you know!"
"Really? Hit me and see?"
"...?"
"Hit me! Hit me!"

In a blatant display of masochism, I immediately lay my left forearm flat on the table, palm up and looked at him expectantly.

Without much hesitation or protest over the fact that he was asked to hit a girl (please ignore the fact that the request was made by the girl herself,) he sliced his hand down in one rapid motion...

...and slammed his closed fist down on the table!

HAHAHAHA!

He recoiled in pain and shock while Julian, Danish and I burst into peals of laughter.

My arm was so thin that when his fist had reached the table already, his two fingers had barely grazed my forearm.

"OMG YOU'RE SO STUPID! HAHAHAHA!"
"..."

He looked indignant and embarassed while cradling his fist in his other hand.
Priceless, I tell you.
So eager to hit a girl and he ends up hurting himself. ;D

What goes around comes around.

After I happily related the ridiculous incident to all my friends, I threw my hands over my head in 'Yes! It's the weekend!' gesture, I punched the doorframe.

...

=_=''

(...Why is the doorframe so low?)

***

"Where are you going after this?"
"Home. Why?"
"Oh, I thought we can go takei later. You want?"
"Huh. Ftz is closed lar."
"What?"
"Ftz is closed."
"Sorry, what?"

I leaned in closer and hissed.

"Ftz is CLOSED. For 2 weeks."

I held up 2 fingers to emphasize my point.
I felt an invigilator glaring at me so I turned back to face the front, mourning my lost oppurtunity to go and play DotA. T_T

Ftz is closed for TWO WEEKS!
(In case you failed to get my point earlier. Who knows? You may be just as slow as Kenny. =/)

Why is it closed?
I don't get it. =(
But oh well, better these two weeks where there are holidays than any two weeks when I'm actually IN college and have nothing to do for LAN classes.

Plus, I'm broke for the month. -.-
I've been broke since last week...and I owe Viv 10 bucks.
But I'm sure I could have gotten him to pay. 2 bucks isn't much. (Or are they that kiam siap? No gua...)

I can't wait for June to come.

Fresh allowance!
Holidays!
Ice skating!
Birthdays!

*cough* Hint. *cough* =x


Song of the Day:

"Noots - Sum 41"

Nicky was right, once I KO for the afternoon I won't wake up to play with him d.
Lol. I'm an hour late (and would've been later had mom not woken me up with a phone call.)
Btw, Jon says this is my name in Japanese: ステフニス Can anyone confirm? ^^

Choose your words carefully...

(23:12) [Sutehunisu]:	night nighty nicky CALL SHER
(23:12) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	i'll play with u 2mrw
(23:12) [Sutehunisu]:	belanja him chendol ;D OO YES
(23:12) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	hahahaha
(23:12) [Sutehunisu]:	6 HOURS i book you jor!
(23:12) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	hahahhaha
(23:12) [Sutehunisu]:	from err 9 pm to 3 am ;D
(23:12) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	i'll come on a silver platter lozl
(23:12) [Sutehunisu]:	mm sounds yummy
(23:12) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	hahahaha
(23:12) [Sutehunisu]:	;D kk
(23:12) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	!!! *go gets apple suit*
(23:12) [Sutehunisu]:	go get your garnishings ready while i whet my appetite ew apples i think chocolate!
(23:13) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	chocolate suit hahahahahahaha
(23:13) [Sutehunisu]:	rofl just roll around in it yum
(23:13) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	hahahaha aight
(23:13) [Sutehunisu]:	kk chao chocoboy
(23:13) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	ciao choco-ravager
(23:13) [Sutehunisu]:	o_o omigod
(23:13) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	hahahaha
(23:13) [Sutehunisu]:	bad choice of words tonight cannot sleep jor x_X
(23:13) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	i meant that in the best way possible lozl LOL hahaha
(23:14) [Sutehunisu]:	. . . omigod go away before i eat you lol
(23:14) roT.Ten- NiCh0l@S <3:	hahaha good luck 2mrw

Holy cow. Choco-ravager? @@
Sounds so [insert adjective here.]


But then again, it's kinda cool. ;D
Kind of...=/

Waking up to a cute smile can really make your day.
I KO'd on the stairs in college, head against the railing and woke up to a 'hahaha, good morning!'

My eyes cracked open to see a smiling face.
Walao. I could melt on the steps just like that man. o_O
(But to preserve my dignity I just smiled back sleepily and pretended to go back to sleep.)

So few people I know have that special smile. Whenever I see a person who possesses it, I cannot help but take a liking to the person.

Swarna has one. ^^
That guy has one.
Nicky says I'm in love with him, but he's being ridiculous!
Right? ._.''


Song of the Day:

"Amaranth - Nightwish"

Still miss Tarja.

Childish

That's what Viv called me when I related the following story:

I was playing DotA earlier.
I was practising my Mirana and I got into a squabble with a Centaur.

=_= I was not in a good mood as my some of my arrows were missing and my teammates were quite noob. But I didn't say anything because I could see that they were trying quite hard - I mean what does an underfarmed Crystal Maiden do when an extremely well-fed Nevermore ambushes you?

However, I snapped when the stupid Centaur marched into the forest and blatantly ks-ed the neutrals I was farming.

OMG GO AWAY LA DIU
What?
Can't you see I'm farming?
What, got law says I cannot farm meh?
I was here first, you blind issit? Ks my creeps for?

You leh?
Nvm, next time I'll let you die =]
Lol, try la.
Don't worry, I don't have to try. They'll kill you. =]
You die first la, feeder.
4-2, 1-6 don't talk, noob.
You so noob.
I see you feed then I happy liao. ^^
Stupid tiger.
Idiot donkey.

Suddenly, he died.

Wtf I typing la!
Type summore type summore. Feed more, then I sure happy de. Donkey.
Ugly tiger!
Donkey heehaw HEEHAW.

He respawned...and died again.

LOL!
Sei stupid ugly tiger!
Type summore la! Type la! HEEHAWHEEHAWHEEHAW LOL!
Lol wtf tiger.

He ended laughing anyway.
._. Also learned this from Viv. You just don't bother scolding them - they'll just throw it right back in your face. If you start talking nonsense, they'll either have nothing else to say or they'll just start laughing.

Both results are definitely more desirable than being sworn at.

Lol.
How did a noble Centaur Warchief become a donkey, I still have no idea. =_=
Anger makes my brain work in random ways.

HEEHAW!

(And wtf, 'ugly tiger'? He couldn't think of a better comeback? Hahaha)

Song of the Day:

"Your Love is a Lie - Simple Plan"

Is it just me or does the chorus sound like Jesse McCartney's Right Where You Want Me?
The intro riff also sounds disturbingly familiar. Cut-and-paste song? =/