I hate word filters.

Yes I do. Word filters are such chicken shitty little things. I mean, it's good in a sense that it prevents morons spamming up your tagbox with foul language, but when you're really pissed off and need to curse...

It just makes me madder when it comes out like this -----------> ****!
Or like Yap's one -----------> 1*beep!*2

Damn annoying la wei.

Case in point:

28 Jul 06, 20:35
asdfgh: you are such a ****ed up *****. go **** your ownself la *****

28 Jul 06, 22:15
Steph: Shan may be a ****ed up *****, but no one deserves to **** themselves. Except you, probably. Because no one else would **** a person who curses people but is too chicken **** to type it out. =)

28 Jul 06, 22:16
Steph: Oh f.u.c.k. these word filters. I apologise then. -kick- But you know what I meant. xD

28 Jul 06, 22:17
Steph: Change your tagbox Shan. This one blows.

-_-'' Like I'm contradicting myself right? Cboxes suck.

Oh and asdfgh? Coward. Can't even type his or her own name out. What a sissy.

If it were a girl:

She'd probably be one of those wannabe 'gothic punk-rockers' (contradiction) who has pink or purple streaks in her hair with knee-high converse with their own fugly scribbles on it, 2 kg of makeup on her face and who think it's cool to speak 'ghetto'.
E.g.: Yo' ma homie, whassup man? Ain't the weather bitchin' yo?

Or maybe those fake cheerleader-type people who think they're all that, but really are desperate wannabes who are jsut dying to hook up with a boy to add to their non-existent street cred.

How else do you explain all those lame-o (and plain fucking ugly) poses on their friendster profiles?

If it were a guy: [Change to masculine form and read the girls' description again.]

It's such a sad, sad world these days. =(


Song of the Day:

"November Rain - Gun's 'n' Roses"

Cause I'm such a coo' punk-rocker yo' -gigglesnort-

I hate everything.

I'm going to be really, really...not nice in this post.
So you know you want to stop reading here.
Really. Don't say I didn't warn you.

---

It's one of those horrible days again, where you wake up with that strange pounding in your head and a really sore throat.

So I stayed home today, despite telling Sui Yi I'd give her the moral essay. Oh well. I SO was going to come to school, but I feel really bad.

No idea.

It could be because of anything.

Like the fact that:
- I'm probably not going to get my DS Lite at all
- Or if I do, it probably will be in a sucky colour like White
- I want to talk to somebody, and then I realise, who am I supposed to talk to?
- My grades are plummeting
- I hate Physics. Cause I have a menopausal bitch for a teacher who lectures us for 45 minutes straight for no reason at all. None, really.
- The hot, hot weather.
- I retch when I play the guitar now, my playing is so bad.
- The fact that all the inconsiderate fuckers who told me the ending of POTC2 even though the y know full well that I didn't know Jack Sparrow died yet. Oh, oops. Don't say I didn't warn you.
- I'm so tired, and I can't sleep at night.

So what I'm going to do is:
Migrate to Australia or US. Then I'll have my Pink DS Lite, the best physics teacher, and probably better teachers for every subject, and cool weather.

When HP7 comes out, I will finish the book on the day it is released and tell all the motherfuckers out there exactly what happened.
Serves you all right, then.

If you don't like HP, then I will go with you and watch POTC3 and accidentally-on-purpose spill my Coke on you during the show on you so that you miss the most exciting part and I'll gleefully tell you the ending after you finish cleaning up the mess on your pants.

I can't help my horrible guitar playing though. All I feel is ramming my the pointy end of my guitar into my teachers throat ala Stephanie in CSI for telling me what happened at the end of POTC. Abigail too.

Annoying insufferable jerks.

I feel like entering the MPH writing thingy, because they're advertising like crazy and the closing date is on the 31st, so that means there are not many people entering, therefore I have a bigger chance of winning.

But I still feel like a failure. I can't write. Not in an original, refreshing way, anyway.
All I can do know is churn out cliche after cliche, thanks to our education system's training.

I feel like investing more time in my music, but I still feel like I'm a complete n00b.
I can't play by ear.
I can't play with people watching.
I can't improvise.
I can't play well at all.

I cannot satisfy myself.

I feel like drawing more, yet I don't have the time.
True to what Yi Ling said, people only seem to like those boring, cliched, crayon-coloured pieces outlined with an 8B pencil.
Boring.
Unskilful.
Boring.
B&W pieces are underappreciated and overlooked.
I'd rather not colour at all than colour like an 8-year-old.

I will not conform to your tastes.

I feel like doing more layouts, but the computer hates me. Trust it to shut down in the middle of a vital step in editing.
When my layout is pink, it's too girly.
When my layout is black, it's too dark.
When my layout is blue, it's not my colour.
When my layout is simple, it's tasteless.
When my layout is complicated, it's an eyesore.

I can't keep everyone happy.

I feel like taking nice photographs, but I don't have steady hands.
My mom insists that my dad can take gorgeous pictures.
She says she takes quite nice pictures too.
She says my sister's pictures are really nice.
She says my pictures are blurry.

Thanks for the encouragement.

I feel like getting in shape sometimes, but I lack the motivation.
Some people say I'm too skinny, so I eat tons and put on some weight.
Then they say I eat too much ice cream, and cake and biscuits, so I cut down on my fat (junk food) intake.
Then they say I don't eat enough, and that I'm an anorexic.
Oh screw you, I'll eat as much as I want. I'll eat as little as I want. What is it to you?
It's my body, I can be skinny, I can be fat. Why don't you just lose that tummy and double chin before commenting on other people? Jackasses.

It sucks to be a jack of all trades.
Master of none.
Don't you feel like that sometimes?


Song of the Day:

"Make A Move - Incubus"

I will feel better after eating a bar of chocolate, playing some insipid piano pieces, taking some more blurry pictures and finish writing my cliched MPH story.

Expect the next post to be happier. I'ma get me some chocolate.

No DS Lite in Pink NOR black!

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Stephanie] says:
denden!!
[Stephanie] says:
is online!!
[Stephanie] says:
YAY!
denise says:
?
denise says:
rofl
[Stephanie] says:
david got no ds lite white!
[Stephanie] says:
nonono!!
[Stephanie] says:
:(
[Stephanie] says:
i mean
denise says:
i just came back from krispy kremeee
[Stephanie] says:
he only has
[Stephanie] says:
ds lite white
[Stephanie] says:
oops
denise says:
oh
denise says:
lmao
[Stephanie] says:
ooh doughnut!
[Stephanie] says:
i want
denise says:
i can check in melb when i'm in the city la
[Stephanie] says:
:(
[Stephanie] says:
i want my ds already
[Stephanie] says:
so bad
[Stephanie] says:
why he never import
[Stephanie] says:
evil guy
[Stephanie] says:
bad supplier
[Stephanie] says:
hmmph
[Stephanie] says:
i mean
[Stephanie] says:
when i demand
[Stephanie] says:
he must supply
[Stephanie] says:
economics mah
[Stephanie] says:
lol
denise says:
yalor
[Stephanie] says:
:(
denise says:
your demand not enough
[Stephanie] says:
yer!
denise says:
need more ppl
[Stephanie] says:
i demand
[Stephanie] says:
i very demand!
denise says:
lmao
denise says:
you very demand?
[Stephanie] says:
:@
[Stephanie] says:
yes
[Stephanie] says:
whatever that means
[Stephanie] says:
lol
[Stephanie] says:
so he must very supply
[Stephanie] says:
-pout-
denise says:
why your england so worse wan
[Stephanie] says:
yalor
[Stephanie] says:
i dunno lar
[Stephanie] says:
maybe it cos of the siva person
[Stephanie] says:
wo bu chi dao
[Stephanie] says:
last time ar, my engerand so very the powderful
[Stephanie] says:
now ar very the not powderful oledi
[Stephanie] says:
allbcos of the stoopid supplier
[Stephanie] says:
grrr
denise says:
chill chill
[Stephanie] says:
BAH

No PINK! No BLACK! No HAPPY!
*cry*

You see! Me no Pink DS Lite, 4k no more the highest in Engerand one! Bcos of that also ar, 4K no more the highest in EST also ar!! You see! Pink DS Lite very the importance to Stephanie!!shiftoneone!!elevenone!!!

*unable to chill*


Song of the Day:

"California Dreamin' - JD Fortune"

I'm sad. So buy me tickets to INXS concert and make me happy.

I'm such a bad person.

My relatives came all the way from wherever they stay and I don't even bother to greet them.
I don't like them, and I highly doubt they like me.
The speak some weird dialect that I don't really understand and they expect me to.

Ok, I just don't like them. That's why I'm up here typing out a stupid post, so that I can avoid having lunch with them downstairs.

Bad, bad, Stephanie.

But THEY'RE BLOODY SINGING KARAOKE DOWNSTAIRS!
IN CHINESE OK!

So excuse me for being a bad niece/cousin/relative. I just hate karaoke. Yeah, that's it. I'm allergic to Chinese karaoke. That's the reason I'm sitting up here avoiding them. Yeah.

Convinced?

Me neither.


Song of the Day:

"Points of Authority - Linkin Park"

My iPod is reading my mind, yo.

Things about my school that annoy me.

*Our penolong kanan HEM
Annoying. Tres annoying.

I hate it when she says:
-From henceforth.
Hello, whoever taught you english should be shot. When you say henceforth, you can omit the 'from' and save yourself some hot air.

-Cleanliness is next to Godliness
And what does that mean? I can do whatever I want, like associate myself with the devil, but as long I bathe everyday and don't litter I am Godlike? Yeah, keep the bullshit coming, lady.

-CBNers are becoming unbecoming
Redundant! My standard 5 english teacher would have your head just for that. You can omit the 'becoming' and I would respect you so much more.
Not.


*My EST teacher
Makes me wish I'd pindah to SMK DJ with Sui Yi. Well, I would, but it's just too far away and I have only 1 year left of school, so why bother? Though the thought of terrorising Shan's schoolmates gives me pleasure like no other. How fun!

I hate it when:
-She argues with us, even though she is clearly wrong
See the 'hypertension' post. I can't be bothered to link la, search for it yourself.

-She brings up homework that she gave us 3 months ago and accuse us of forgetting to do it, when she herself obviously forgot it as well
Or sometimes she asks for homework that she never gave and call our class a bunch of miscreants. Ok, obviously she doesn't call us 'miscreants,' as her english pretty much sucks.

-She allows us to keep the answers in our exercise book, then makes it out like such a big deal whenever a student copies the answers
Hello? Don't give us the stupid 'I'm so disappointed in you girls, I thought better of you all' speech. Just shut up and tear out the stupid answers already. We are 15 and 16 year olds, don't expect us to overcome temptation, not when Adam and Eve couldn't. Cis!

-She pretends that she sacrificed SO much for our education
Yeah, right. What do you do, huh? Give us homework, disappear, reappear and read out the answers from the book and make us mark it ourselves? Wowwwwww, I'm so grateful for all your hard work and dedication to our education! -bows down-


*My Add Maths teacher
She's not so bad, but still annoying.

I hate it when:
-She read straight from the textbook when 'teaching'
If she's gonna do that, I might as well stay home and read it myself.

-She gives us that smug smile when we don't understand what she's saying
Like she's superior. It's her teaching skills that suck, not that our brain power is inferior to hers.

-She says 'don't do that the next time'
When referring to how I didn't inform her of why I didn't come to school for a week after my dad died. Not only is that insensitive, it also makes absolutely no sense. I mean, how many times can your dad die? Absolute bitch. It's none of her business why I skip school anyway. Nosey parker. Concerned my big fat ass, looking for a reason to blacklist someone is more like it.


*Our headmistress
I just don't like her. I just don't. No particular reason. I didn't like our previous headmistress, Georgie Porgie either. I think I have issues, but whatever.


*Jackson Ng

I hate the fact that:
- every single year, they have to get some crappy motivational speaker to get us all to study when all he wants to do is sell his cheapskate books and crack some lame jokes.

-95% of students fall for that 'WE MUST STUDY! WE ARE TOP STUDENTS!' crap he sells. Like the assholes they are.

-Our headmistress supports him and thinks his jokes are funny. Maybe that's why I don't like her.


*Cheerleaders

Or, rookie cheerleaders. Like a certain yellow-themed cheerleading team I could mention. Don't represent the school until you've got your performance down pat. Or why should I bother with you all embarassing the school when I hate the school anyway? -shrug-


*Sexism

Despite being a girl's school, sexism is alive and well at CBN. Explain why football, futsal and basketball are banned just because 'we are girls and therefore must be ladylike'?

If they had a football, futsal club or even basketball club, then I wouldn't be stuck with crappy Scrabble or Chess every year. I mean, I like Scrabble and Chess, but it's not exactly 'active' for a 'sport' now, is it?

Then why are softball, hockey and all those kind of things allowed? They aren't exactly 'ladylike,' are they? If we were all to be ladylike, the only sports we's have in this school would be gymnastics, cheerleading, synchronised swimming, aerobics and yoga.

I hate my school.


*The fact that our school magazine has to be feminine
I appreciate the fact that you are trying to keep our 'feminine' image, but hello? Stop talking crap about other magazines, not when one of the reasons why we can't win the mag cover design comp is because our creativity (and financial resources, maybe) is (are) limited?

---

You know what? I may well get thrown out of CBN for writing all this, but every single word of is true, and the only thing that will hurt when that happens, is my so far perfectly clean track record. But then my street cred will probably skyrocket when I get expelled. Hah!


Song of the Day:

"96 Quite Bitter Beings - CKY"

94 of them are embodiments of me. The other 2 make up the rest of the student body.

Flirting Tips

As told by some unknown sentimental romantic.
Take it from the pro, guys.

Holding hands

Girls: If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys: Grab it if it happens more than once.

Like hell I'm gonna 'bump' into a guy's hand if I want to hold it. Want to hold just hold la, stupid. And I don't get why couples like to hold hands so much.

Stupid sweaty palms. So uncomfortable. That's why it's good for a tall girl like me to get a shorter guy.

I just have to put my arm on his shoulder a.k.a. Coke shoulder position and I won't have to deal with all this holding hands crap. Problem solved.


Cuddling

Girls: When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Guys: Automatically move closer to her.

Cuddling, ah.

The way that people make out that boys are oblivious, it's probably better to say 'I wanna cuddle' and risk scaring him off, rather than do that 'oh baby, I'm so cold!' shit and have him hand over his jacket with a careless shrug.

You'd probably just induce snorts from the rest of the female population around, for getting such a catch.


Movies

Girls: During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder.
Guys: Lift her chin up and kiss her.

What the hell? Waste my 10 bucks and kiss in a theatre? Haiyo, what are dark, isolated back alleys for then? If he tries to kiss you (especially during an exciting scene,) smack him for being an incompetent boyfriend.

And tell him to get that damn arm off your shoulder. Unless you appreciate sharp pains in your neck and shoulders, you masochist.


Loving each other

Guys: When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.

Tell her you love her too...and mean it.

...How can you just 'mean it'? If you don't mean it that means you don't la. Just shuddup and hope she forgets the slight. Better than lying right?


Laying below the stars

Girls: When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat.
Guys: Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.

Lay under the stars. In Malaysia. Preposterous! Unless you want to shower in bug spray first, which'll probably completely the romantic atmosphere with that putrid lemongrass smell.

Oh yea. There's always an observatory.

Oh, and you see, if the girl's head is on the guy's chest, that means the poor guy will have to lift his head up and risk a neck cramp, and for what? To whisper in the girl's ear? Can't you see that the girl is busy listening to your heartbeat?

Estupido.

---

I think I believe it now, when mom says I won't get a boyfriend until I'm 20.
Even then, he'll probably be some sissy mommy's boy.
Poor me. =(


Song of the Day:

"Polly - Nirvana"

Stephanie wants a cracker.
Stephanie wants a cracker.
Stephanie wants a cracker.
DAMMIT JUST FEED ME THAT CRACKER, ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT?

I sat on and broke a chair today.

So, how was your day?

=P

I broke a chair! HAHAHA! I'm giddy over it all. See? I told you I wasn't light?
It's funny how people who weigh less than 40kg can tell me I'm light. Complete and total bullshit la...if 45kg is light, then what are they? Featherweights? Bleh.

Anyway, I was chatting to Yap when my bloody chair went crrrackkk. I was like O_O Wtf?
Miss Anusya went "who's that?" and I went "Me! Me!"

Like some small kid.

Anyway, a note to all kids out there:
Listen to your parents and teachers - don't rock your chair on two legs. Much less one.
It's all well when you're 10 years old, but when you're a foot taller and well, much heavier...Don't. Try. It.

You may just make a fatter weight-challenged friend feel paranoid, seeing the local chopstick splinter a poor chair. Goodness knows what THEY could do to the poor thing then. *cackles*

---

Gideon, yea, my guitar teacher's name is Gideon; brought back my beloved Zachy D today.
*heart* New strings! So shiny and clean! *rubs*

He started my ear training today. And it's probably safe to say I pretty much suck ass at it. I mean, I can recognise most piano notes when I hear them. But guitar chords? Gaaah.

You know I can't play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star by ear? I mean, I can pluck the notes out, but chords are greek to me. o_O Weird right?

Anyway I was to busy rubbing my new strings to care.

*Squeaksqueaksqueak*

I lovelovelove my new strings! I think I shall name every one of them.

Enid.
Alistair.
Donita.
Geronimo.
Billy and.....Enid Junior!

Ahh. *squeaksqueeeeeeeeak*

Did you know there was one CSI episode where this guy was murdered (no duh).
Well, the guy's name was Gideon.
And the murderer's name was Stephanie. (She played in a rock band, whoopee! Well, more like pop actually. =( )
And guess what? The murder weapon was...a guitar!
WAHAHAHA! How's THAT for coincidence?

Stephanie the murderer. Hm. I kinda like that.
Beats Stephanie McMahon any day.

---

Accounts is silly. Today I snuck into Nurul's class and annoyed her by butting into a last-minute cramfest for her Prinsip Akaun exam.

"Whatcha doin?"
*ignores me*
"Ohh...Accounts! Free A la!"
"Where got? It's so hard! Why don't YOU try learning?"
"Oh, neh. Debit this one, and credit this one la!"
"Huh? No la. Don't simply la."
*
*
*
A couple minutes later...

"Eh? Correct wor!"
"Nah! Told you easy what!"

=P

I'm a Prinsip Akaun genius. =P *perasan*

---

I got 83 for English! Highest in class. =P But still sucky. I mean, there wasn't even an essay. -_-'' Small kid also can pass. As long as the kiddo speaks English, I mean. But whatever.

Panicked during Add Maths again. I have Addematematiciaphobia.

How else can you explain the fact that I can do perfectly well (figuratively speaking) right before the exam, forget ALL the formulas during exam; then half an hour after it ends, realise that I know how to do every single one?

Really frustrating I tell you. They should use our homework to grade us or something.
...Only I'd fail, since I NEVER hand in my homework.
Haha.

---

Why do people keep thinking that Linkin Park broke up?
Where got?
Utter bullshit.
Just because The Rising Tied came out, you people go and make your stupid deductions and spread equally stupid rumours about my favourite band.

Educate yourself, people. Linkin Park is releasing their 4th album this year, not counting Live in Texas and Collision Course. They may call it 'A Million Little Pieces,' but it has not been confirmed yet. Which is just as well, since -favourite band or not- that title sucks.

---

Okaaay. Those were pretty random things.
I shall end this post now.
Happy or not, fuzzy?


Song of the Day:

"Mr. Brightside - Marty Casey"

Thank goodness he didn't win. If not, the world would be deprived of JD-awesomeness!

Ha. Ha.

Abi Ga'il told a few jokes a couple days ago.

I just realised that some of my friends aren't exactly the brightest stars in the sky.
Let's do a test.

"There are 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who can count, and those who can't."

If you got the joke in:

1 second or less - Good job! You match Stephanie in intellectual ability. *coughcough*
2 to 4 seconds - Not exactly bright, but still not bad.
5 to 10 seconds - You. Are. Slow. Understand?
More than one minute - Oh. My. God. I don't know you. Get away from me!
Never - *delivers a slap to your face*

I know it's not exactly the funniest joke, but some of my friends didn't even get what Abi meant.

There were like,

"...and?"
"...so?"
"...uhhuh. Go on..."

And Nurul, the champion, went:

"Huh? What about the last type?"

I swear. It's a wonder they got 7 or more As in their PMR at all.

-_-''

***
Anyway, before I go study, I will retell a joke I heard from Abi that day.
Guaranteed to make at least one person laugh.

A couple had a little boy whom they loved a lot.

When he turned 4, they asked him:
"Boyboy, what do you want for your birthday? We'll buy you anything!"

He replied:
"I want, TEN BIG ping pong balls."

His parents said:
"Huh? Why you want ten big ping pong balls for? No use also. We'll buy you a tricycle la!"

So they bought him a tricycle.

-------

When the boy turned 6, he made his parents proud by getting first place in kindergarten.

His parents said:
"Wah, you so clever la! What do you want? We'll buy you anything!"

He replied:
"I want, TEN BIG ping pong balls."

They replied:
"What la, ten big ping pong balls for what? We'll buy you roller skates instead!"

So they bought him a pair of roller skates.

-------

When the boy turned 12, he got straight As in his UPSR.

His parents exclaimed:
"Wow! You're so so clever! What do you want? We'll buy you anything!"

He replied:
"I want, TEN BIG ping pong balls."

They replied:
"Haiyo, ping pong balls for what? We'll buy you a handphone ok?"

So they bought him a handphone.

-------

When the boy turned 15, once again he got straight As for PMR!

His parents asked:
"Wah! Straight As again! We're so proud of you! What do you want? We'll buy you anything!"

He replied:
"I want, TEN BIG ping pong balls."

They replied, rather crossly:
"You and you ping pong balls! What are you going to do with your ping pong balls? We'll buy you a laptop instead!"

So they bought him a laptop.

-------

When the boy turned 17, surprise surprise, he got straight As in his SPM.

His parents said:
"Wah boy, you're a genius la, straight As again! What do you want? We'll buy you anything!"

He replied:
"I want, TEN BIG ping pong balls."

They replied:
"HAIYO! We will buy you a car la!"

So they bought him a car.

-------

When the boy turned 25, he was promoted to CEO of his company.

His parents said:
"Boy, you make us SO proud! What do you want? We'll buy you anything!"

He replied:
"I want, TEN BIG ping pong balls."

They replied:
"STOP WITH THE PING PONG BALL NONSENSE! We'll buy you a house instead!"

So they bought him a house.

-------

When the boy turned 30, he was diagnosed with cancer. He had one week to live.

His parents tearfully asked:
"What do you want? We'll buy you anything!"

He replied weakly:
"I...want...TEN BIG....ping pong balls..."

Since it was his last request, his parents agreed to get him his TEN BIG ping pong balls.
After a one-week long search for the TEN BIG ping pong balls their son wanted, the couple finally gave up and custom made the TEN BIG ping pong balls.

They brought the TEN BIG ping pong balls to their dying son. The son smiled contentedly. The parents were bewildered.

"May we ask you son, for all these 30 years, why do you want TEN BIG ping pong balls?"

The son weakly opened his eyes and said:

"Because..."



...And died.

***

You know what the joke is?
Look into a mirror.
You see that expression there? That expression made all this typing worth it.

And at least one person laughed what...
...me!

NYAHAHAHAHAHA!


Song of the Day:

"Outta Control - Styles of Beyond"

It's ok to feel like killing me. I felt like strangling Abi too, after she told me the...joke.
We are evil. =D

Yeesh. Another nightmare.

=(

And yes, I ponteng again.
And I'm gonna study Add Maths this time, I swear.

And, OH GOD, can't I even get ONE night of peace?
AHHHHHHH. And this time it was like those Japanese horror movies too. And I haven't even watched one lately.

Imagine hanging out with your friend, then finding a lady fanning her husband worriedly in some abandoned warehouse.
Upon seeing you, the lady asks you to jaga her husband for a while and runs off.
You kneel next to the obviously inebriated guy, all worried.

And then suddenly his head splits open at the forehead, and dark red blood comes gushing out, with the guy's eyeballs rolling back into his head and convulsing.

And imagine an voice in your head going in this super creepy voice:
"That's all it takes. And you're next."

CHISIN!

God forbid I get one peaceful night's sleep, much less a good dream.
I have issues.

-switches to clamshell mode-

That's what one of my mom's friend say, anyway. I'm a clamshell. You can't get a secret out of me even if you get a crowbar and pry my shell open.

How nice.

---

Still got bad headaches. =(

Yesterday, during my guitar lesson, my E string snapped!
But unlike Yap who was thrilled, as she finally broke a drumstick playing, I didn't snap my guitar in the heat of my passionate shredding.

Oh no, not at all.

It broke while being tuned.
...How glam is that? xD


Song of the Day:

"Superman - Stereophonics"

Pointless filler post.

So, I ponteng-ed...

...what's new?

But I am seriously not feeling well. Actually, I told mom that I needed 'to catch up on my sleep and revise for next week's test.'

Both of which are true. But still, I don't feel well.

I've been having nightmares for the past week.
I wake up every hour on the hour. With only 4 hours of sleep every night, this is a total bitch. Like I'm not tired enough already.

Apparently, I injure myself in my sleep. Last week, I discovered bright red pinch marks all over my right arm, all of which match the shape of my left thumbnail.

That's weird, especially as I'm not even a left-handed person.
Could it be my creative side taking over? Nyahahaa....right.

My left tiny toenail just...fell off. No injury. No one stepped on my foot recently, (wow, surprise). I haven't kicked anything.

There's a purplish circular bruise on my left heel. No idea where that came from either.

I've been getting rashes all over my body. I mean, little red patches in random places...behind my elbow, on my cheek, by my ankle...not places where you typically get rashes.

Well, at least there are no voices in my head so far. If they came back, I seriously am going to lock myself up in the mental ward of a hospital (not Gleneagles duh).

It would totally suck to find out I'm schizophrenic, a year before SPM.
Though it would be totally cool if the little voices in my head told me all the answers for my exams.

---
Now I'm scared of going to sleep. I can get nightmares half an hour into my afternoon nap. Nightmares...psssh. I get evening-mares too. Lucky me.

That day I stopped breathing about 10 seconds after I woke from a night...daymare.
Stopped wouldn't be the word. Couldn't is more like it.

Paranoia...paranoia...paranoia...

I can't sleep. I can't eat.
I'm cursed.

The only thing that I can say is good in my life so far?
I can finally do my Add Maths (somewhat.)
For the first time in my life.
Big fucking comfort.


Song of the Day:

"Papercut - Linkin Park"

You fuel my paranoia. Go away.
I'm mentally disturbed. Get me a straightjacket for Christmas.

---HeartHeartHeartLoveHeart---

Oh thank the gods above for granting my wish!

-Little pink hearts float around my head-

Nintendo Announces Pink DS Lite

Nintendo fan boys and girls the world over will be delighted to know that the DS Lite will soon be available in that color of flamingos, a girly-looking powdery shade the company calls Noble Pink.

If you're getting all excited about something like this, well, you're easily excitable, but from what we can discern from Nintendo's Japanese language website, you'll have to wait until July 20th to pick one up for $144. With the addition of this color, soon the Nintendo DS Lite will be available in four colors: Crystal White, Ice Blue, Enamel Navy, and this pink one. We're not really seeing anything noble about it—they should have called it Girly Pink. – Charlie White

I am so, so freaking happy! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! -kicks party pooper Charlie White-
Yes, I'm excited easily, so what? Macho twit.

PINKPINKPINKPINKPINK!! *hops around in a drunken daze*
I will wait for it to arrive in Malaysia. =D Screw the Ice Blue DS Lite, I want the pink!
But then, they're also releasing another colour that I really, really want...

Black!

My heart is broken, torn in two, ripped apart...spoilt by choice.
Pink or black? Pink or black?!

=(

Well, that is if it even comes to Malaysia...it is rumoured to only be a Japanese edition.
In that case, I'll just ask Irene to bring one back for me! Whee!

Song of the Day:

"Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt"

Yeesh! I'm so happy!

Hahaha =P

*Bursts out laughing*
I am no longer embarassed by my last post. I just find it inexplicably hilarious. xD
Okay, for your benefit, I shall educate you on my oddest (and most dangerous) mood: Utter insanity

Generally, there are three occasions where my sanity goes haywire:

1. Glucose overdose

High on chocolate.

How it happens: During a party, generally. Instead of smoking dope, I run off with 3 cans of Coke, an ice cream, a bar of chocolate and a packet of Honey-Lemon Hacks. My adrenaline level shoot way up and -poof!- Hyper-active Stephanie!

Examples: Once I ran around tugging on the waistline of my jeans, shouting "My pants are falling off!" repeatedly.

The symptoms: Minty breath, coke-stained teeth, my eyes rolling in all directions with a wicked grin/smirk on my face, dilated pupils.

What to do: Slap my face, hide me in dark corner so I won't embarass you or myself, send to nearest hospital for rapid detox.

When to back off:

When I start looking like THAT.
---

2. Competition/performance stress

Annoyed and stressed.

How it happens: During a competition, naturally. If I'm winning, my focus is competely on getting the gold. If I'm losing, I get all nerve-wracked and do crazy things that embarass myself greatly.

Examples: This year's elocution competition. I got so unnerved by the Form Fives who delivered their speeches confidently and unfalteringly that I completely forgot my script in the middle of the competition. I made up things as I went along and duh, embarassed myself utterly. Oh, and that day we had a Sudoku competition. I was so stressed out and annoyed that I slapped Abi on the face unintentionally. o_O

The symptoms: Scowling, muttering to self, singing aloud shamelessly, fidgeting nervously, lips getting thinner and thinner and thinner...

What to do: RUN AND HIDE. NOW.

When to back off:

When I threaten to destroy your camera.
---

3. Lack of sleep

On a four-hour charge. And yes, I know I do look hideous here. Har, har.

How it happens: When I don't have enough sleep, my word-filter switches off automatically. My dopamine levels plummet, I can't rationalize, and my common sense = nada.

Examples: The last post. Typical. I knew I was going to completely make a fool out of myself, yet I did it. Oh well.

The symptoms: Blank looks, eyelids at halfmast, head lolling around aimlessly, right double-eyelid mysteriously vanishing, opening only one eye at a time, humming songs that sound suspiciously like Britney Spears to myself.

What to do: Drag me to the closest thing that resembles a bed that you can find, hand me a jumbo-sized bar of chocolate, or go to the nearest Starbucks and get me a large Ice Blended Caramel (this option preferred...mmmm caffeine!)

When to back off:

Looks more like a drug addict to me.
I may start acting like one too.

---

Now you should understand at least 94.6% of my moods. Congratulations!
Do you experience incidents like this too, or is it only me?

O_O

...Oh joy. I think just humiliated myself online again.
I think it's condition #3 again. Yay.


Song of the Day:

"Crazy - Britney Spears"

*hums quietly to self*

Desperation makes you do crazy things.

I cannot believe I just did that.
I am so disgusted with myself.
Doing work at the eleventh hour (hey! it's 11 pm!) forces me to do things I would never do if I had a choice.

I should quit Ed Board. And if this gets published, the school mag seriously needs some shaking up.
Say hello to cliched sappiness.
Prepare to vomit blood.


Ungrateful Stranger

Short and spiky, dyed black hair,
Wearing black as opposed to blue,
A ring in your nose, purple highlights in your hair,
Who are you?

So much has changed since we’ve known each other,
That itself is a promise broken,
Should I still consider you as my friend?
Maybe I should just throw away the times golden.

Yet I still hold on to you,
Clingy, needy (and annoying I know,)
To keep you I contradict myself,
Maybe I should just let you go.

I heard you got in with the wrong crowd,
Is that a bruise on your cheek?
I wish I could save you,
But it’s not my comfort that you seek.

Now I am but a stranger to you,
You pretend we’ve never met,
Well, all that concern you’ve had from me,
That’s all the love you’re ever going to get.

I don’t know you,
Not anymore,
You ungrateful stranger,
*Update:
Now you're just another eyesore.
(Does that take off some off the sappiness? Annoying goths.)

...OMG I. Am. So. Barfing. Blood. Right. Now.
T_T''
At least it only took 5 minutes...I SO specialize in sappiness. But hey! Teachers love sappiness don't they?

Score 1 for Stephanie!

(And no, this poem is not based on anyone I know. Just pick a damned cliche and your brain cogs become unstuck. You should try it sometime. Just don't show it to me. I think I've lost enough blood already.)


Song of the Day:

"Somebody to Love - Jefferson Airplane"

Hooray for Rockstar Supernova!

O_O
I just read the poem again.
*vomits blood*
Am I hanging out with JL too much?
Haha, no offense lar. At least your poems are both sappy AND good. =D

Nooo...

Avril Lavigne did it.
Coldplay did it.
Good Charlotte did it.
Oasis did it.
Probably lots more, but I can't remember them right now.

Did what? You may ask.

Did a concert in Singapore but skipped Kuala Lumpur, that's what.

I don't blame them. Why perform here where you must make sure your clother cover your knees and shoulders and navel, cannot jump around on stage, cannot throw stuff at the audience, where your fans cannot crowd surf or piggyback?

Geez, partypoopers, we are.

But what about people like me who can't travel all the way to Singapore to catch them performing?

=(

Now INXS is coming! Hooray!

But they're not under Warner.
So no free tickets = no concert for me

WAHHH!!! I wanna go!

:'(

Oh and Uncle Cheah says Linkin Park is coming in January. =D Concert partners, anyone?
(Don't ask for free tickets, I already promised Bel =P)


Song of the Day:

"If I Were You - Hoobastank"

Mommy loves this song.

Okay.

I'll stop being such a whiny bitch. Just give me some time, ok?

I am superhuman.

I finished 4 months worth of homework in one week. Yay me!

---

Okay, since when did I become such an evil green-eyed maniac? I think it was probably when Siew Lei got straight As for a PMR.

Annoying giler.

And being in the same class with a certain TSY who excels in practically every subject probably rubbed another chili pepper in my already ouch wounds.

It's just so. damn. hard. not to be the 'best' anymore.

Do you know how much my mind winces everytime people comment on how pretty my sister is?

"Wow Denise! You're so pretty now!"

*modest heheh*

"And Steph! You're so...(slight pause) tall now!"

*scowl*

Damn sien already. I know I know, I said I don't mind that I'm not exactly what you would call a looker, but when compared to someone you're so close to...

AHHHHHH!!!

And the age thing too! How can people think my 20-year-old sister is 16?

"Oh Denise! Where are you studying now?"

"Melbourne U."

"OH! I thought you were still in secondary! *astonished laugh*"

...

"How about you Steph? Where do you work now?"

*morphs into huge green monster that miraculously reminds you of a certain comic character*

I KNOW YOU MORONS! I know I look old, but can you TRY and NOT look so damn surprised when I tell you I am but a 15 year old? So demoralizing ok.

---

Well, at least I'm known for being tolerant to pain.
Riiight. What good does that do to me?

Remember the time I took a fall off that stupid malfunctioning bike?
Did anyone remember me for not crying even though a good chunk of my flesh had just been scraped off and was lying in the road?
Did anyone remember me for not complaining even when I had this very prominent slash mark (from the tyre) across my lips?

Oh nooooooooo.

They just remember me as being the one who was stupid enough to fall off a bike at the age of 13.

-_-''

Thank you so much.

---

Oh, how about my studies? Yeayea, I passed my freaking PTS and all that crap, but it's been going downhill ever since.
5 As for UPSR? Holy crap, that's bad.
6 As for PMR? Holy shit, you suck!

I have to take all this shit constantly you know? What's wrong with getting a B in a certain subject? Just like my freaking elitist school who gives all the good teachers to the students with straight As.

Those who got A B? Oh too bad, we'll just leave you to rot since you're hopeless cases who can't even get straight As anyway. I'm not even going to complain about how the crappy students got straight As because of certain tweaking in standards of some subjects, because I've been there, done that.

---

I realise that I sound like a petulant, annoying teenager who complains about life when there are people dying of starvation in Africa and blahblahblah.

Don't even talk to me about that, you well-fed, self-centred jackasses. You don't give a shit about them, and you know that. Don't expect me to care about the plight of some small kid that I don't even know. It's not even like I can do ANYTHING to help them.

Put food in their mouths? What? You want me to spend my (small) trust fund to fly half a world away to feed a stranger?

Ok, fine. I will spend all my money on just that, throw away my education, and become a homeless beggar on Jalan Bukit Bintang.

I'm not Angelina Jolie, you know. I don't have millions of dollars to squander to generate publicity for myself.

And I bet all of my shit you wouldn't even bother to flip a ten-sen coin oh-so-non-chalantly into my crumpled paper cup.

Fucking hypocrites.

---

As for music?
I thought I was pretty good, being in Grade 8 at 15, taking into account the years I stopped piano lessons for UPSR and PMR.

Now I'm not the only one.
Ego-popper?

---

And now I can't even write anymore. I can't draw anymore. My inspiration just went *poof*
I remember the time I used to draw pictures and sell them to my parents to raise money for buying Christmas presents.
I remember the time I'd write silly short stories about *cough*curly hair and my sis would take it for her oral exam and score and A. (Okay, that was only once, but still)

Now it's like,

"Stephanie! Join the poster competition!"
"Stephanie! Remember to submit your expressions for the school magazine!"
"Stephanie! Do my layout!"
"Stephanie! Why don't you write a song?"
"Stephanie! Remember to make a card for (insert person's name here)!"

Go die, people. I just cannot work when people ASK me to.
I don't know why.
If I don't want to draw, just leave me alone.
Don't even think about submitting my name into writing competitions.
-shakes fist at a certain teacher-

I. Cannot. Do. It. Anymore.

Just go away.

Let me relax.

And I might just do your layout.


Song of the Day:

"Maneater - Nelly Furtado"

Don't know why, but I like this song.

I am not liking penguins right now.

Lately my mom has been talking about her friend Aunty Vivian's (Vivienne?) daughter. The way she talks about her makes me feel smug and jealous at the same time.

"She's so hiao! Like to pose nude and all that, no shame one!"

*smug*

"But then she's so creative, that Jasmine. Did you know she just got accepted into one of the top art schools? Saint Martin's? (or something like that)"

*jealous*

"But still ah, that girl can pose until her nipples almost showing! I can't believe her mom lets her do that!"

*smug*

"But still, got brains, got looks, got money...so lucky!"

*dies of jealousy*

Hey, I'm only human. Got brains? I want. Got looks? Sure, gimme some. Got money? *swoon*
Artistic ability? OMG GIVE IT TO ME!

And then...

"Oh, and she also has a blog. That day her mom showed it to me. She's so proud of her daughter...she's an excellent photographer you know?"

"Oohoohoohooh! Showmeshowmeshowme!"

"Okla, I give you the address tomorrow."

---

I just saw her blog today.
Can I just die of envy now?
Guess who 'Jasmine' is?

None other than Jasiminne the penguin herself!
The poser Jasiminne.
The Jasiminne known for her pictures of sucking on a 'lollipop' (actually a strawberry flavoured condom-esque thingy)
The Jasiminne people criticised yet whose artistic talents cannot be denied.
The Jasiminne who got herself in the newspaper just for having a kick-ass blog.
The Jasiminne whose blog I used to visit until I got fed up of her long-winded-ness, yet still dropped by once in a while to wallow in self-pity while gazing in admiration at her gorgeous photographs.


A semi-famous blogger! My mom knows a semi-famous blogger and she didn't tell me!
Hmph!

Well, not that she'd know to, since she was all like:

"Got meh? Famous ar? Aiyah, you young kids only know all these la. I dunno one."

=(

Well, at least I can admit honestly to myself that I'm not trashy.
...
...Damn, who am I kidding?

Now everytime I visit my blog, I am overcome with a sense of mediocrity.

Thanks Jasiminne.

Song of the Day:

"Winnetka Exit - Styles of Beyond"

I lame la, I know. Shuddup.