As told by some unknown sentimental romantic.
Take it from the pro, guys.
Holding hands
Girls: If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys: Grab it if it happens more than once.
Like hell I'm gonna 'bump' into a guy's hand if I want to hold it. Want to hold just hold la, stupid. And I don't get why couples like to hold hands so much.
Stupid sweaty palms. So uncomfortable. That's why it's good for a tall girl like me to get a shorter guy.
I just have to put my arm on his shoulder a.k.a. Coke shoulder position and I won't have to deal with all this holding hands crap. Problem solved.
Cuddling
Girls: When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Guys: Automatically move closer to her.
Cuddling, ah.
The way that people make out that boys are oblivious, it's probably better to say 'I wanna cuddle' and risk scaring him off, rather than do that 'oh baby, I'm so cold!' shit and have him hand over his jacket with a careless shrug.
You'd probably just induce snorts from the rest of the female population around, for getting such a catch.
Movies
Girls: During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder.
Guys: Lift her chin up and kiss her.
What the hell? Waste my 10 bucks and kiss in a theatre? Haiyo, what are dark, isolated back alleys for then? If he tries to kiss you (especially during an exciting scene,) smack him for being an incompetent boyfriend.
And tell him to get that damn arm off your shoulder. Unless you appreciate sharp pains in your neck and shoulders, you masochist.
Loving each other
Guys: When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.
Tell her you love her too...and mean it.
...How can you just 'mean it'? If you don't mean it that means you don't la. Just shuddup and hope she forgets the slight. Better than lying right?
Laying below the stars
Girls: When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat.
Guys: Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.
Lay under the stars. In Malaysia. Preposterous! Unless you want to shower in bug spray first, which'll probably completely the romantic atmosphere with that putrid lemongrass smell.
Oh yea. There's always an observatory.
Oh, and you see, if the girl's head is on the guy's chest, that means the poor guy will have to lift his head up and risk a neck cramp, and for what? To whisper in the girl's ear? Can't you see that the girl is busy listening to your heartbeat?
Estupido.
---
I think I believe it now, when mom says I won't get a boyfriend until I'm 20.
Even then, he'll probably be some sissy mommy's boy.
Poor me. =(
Song of the Day:
"Polly - Nirvana"
Stephanie wants a cracker.
Stephanie wants a cracker.
Stephanie wants a cracker.
DAMMIT JUST FEED ME THAT CRACKER, ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT?
Take it from the pro, guys.
Holding hands
Girls: If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times.
Guys: Grab it if it happens more than once.
Like hell I'm gonna 'bump' into a guy's hand if I want to hold it. Want to hold just hold la, stupid. And I don't get why couples like to hold hands so much.
Stupid sweaty palms. So uncomfortable. That's why it's good for a tall girl like me to get a shorter guy.
I just have to put my arm on his shoulder a.k.a. Coke shoulder position and I won't have to deal with all this holding hands crap. Problem solved.
Cuddling
Girls: When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Guys: Automatically move closer to her.
Cuddling, ah.
The way that people make out that boys are oblivious, it's probably better to say 'I wanna cuddle' and risk scaring him off, rather than do that 'oh baby, I'm so cold!' shit and have him hand over his jacket with a careless shrug.
You'd probably just induce snorts from the rest of the female population around, for getting such a catch.
Movies
Girls: During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder.
Guys: Lift her chin up and kiss her.
What the hell? Waste my 10 bucks and kiss in a theatre? Haiyo, what are dark, isolated back alleys for then? If he tries to kiss you (especially during an exciting scene,) smack him for being an incompetent boyfriend.
And tell him to get that damn arm off your shoulder. Unless you appreciate sharp pains in your neck and shoulders, you masochist.
Loving each other
Guys: When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.
Tell her you love her too...and mean it.
...How can you just 'mean it'? If you don't mean it that means you don't la. Just shuddup and hope she forgets the slight. Better than lying right?
Laying below the stars
Girls: When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat.
Guys: Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.
Lay under the stars. In Malaysia. Preposterous! Unless you want to shower in bug spray first, which'll probably completely the romantic atmosphere with that putrid lemongrass smell.
Oh yea. There's always an observatory.
Oh, and you see, if the girl's head is on the guy's chest, that means the poor guy will have to lift his head up and risk a neck cramp, and for what? To whisper in the girl's ear? Can't you see that the girl is busy listening to your heartbeat?
Estupido.
---
I think I believe it now, when mom says I won't get a boyfriend until I'm 20.
Even then, he'll probably be some sissy mommy's boy.
Poor me. =(
Song of the Day:
"Polly - Nirvana"
Stephanie wants a cracker.
Stephanie wants a cracker.
Stephanie wants a cracker.
DAMMIT JUST FEED ME THAT CRACKER, ARE YOU DEAF OR WHAT?
1 comment:
so true!!!
i recieve those like everyday...
annoying....
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