GG

So now I have a girlfriend Casey with double D boobs who cooks me noodles for late lunch and only likes to use pretty girl heroes.

That's the only way to get those horny Garena bastards to wait for your friend who is cooking spaghetti to join game.

And they did wait. With NO cursing. NO flaming. NO whining. NO leaving.

They only thing they asked was:

1. Is your gf hot???

Men lah. Niapet. Can only think of boobies.

So KC finally arrived and we were ready to act noob then own with our ice couple - crystal maiden and ancient apparition - when my streamyx terus dc.

POTONG STIM WEI.

Not even 5 minutes tau!

Chaocheebai.

So while I'm talking about RTS games, let me continue with a shameless plug for HoN.

First and foremost, I don't care how many of you whiny DotA fanboys complain that HoN is a total DotA ripoff.

Because it's MEANT to be a ripoff. -_____-

Yes, they have most of the same heroes and spells and items because it's meant to make a player's transition from DotA to HoN easier. And may I reiterate that S2 has the permission from Icefrog to modify and use his map, albeit on a different gaming engine.

So basically, most of the DotA players now use Garena to play. (Are UCPro and Blueserver even active anymore?)

And with Garena comes a whole slew of problems:

1. Difficulty in joining a room to play with your friends.

2. Cannot see friend's game.

3. Easy disconnection - once you're out, it's OVAHH.

4. Friend list is all wonky - offline and online people are often muddled up; sometimes messages cannot be sent.

5. LAG. LAG. LAG. FUCK THE LAG.

So okay. This are the 5 main problems I have with Garena besides the chao ah bengs who have the IQ of my pants size.

Ah bengs cannot be avoided, but you have a 80% less chance of encountering them on HoN, due to the fact that you are playing with players WORLDWIDE (or a significantly larger region than your own country.)

Benefits of HoN:

1. Reconnection capability. If you dc, (fuck you streamyx) just reconnect and open your HoN again. You're allowed to rejoin a game within 5 minutes of leaving.

2. NO LAG. I have never ever lagged while playing HoN. Even if a player lags, the rest of the people in the game are unaffected.

HELLO, SMOOTH GAMES; BYEBYE TUNNELING.

3. Rebindable hotkeys. Say goodbye to warkeys that mess up your typing. You can rebind any key you like in your settings, much like in CS.

4. VOIP. BYEBYE SKYPE. You can chat in game by simply pressing 2 different keys - 1 for your lane only (good for initiating battle) and 1 for allies mapwide (HERO MS HERO MS)

5. Easy to join a friend's game. Just right click your friend on your friend list and click 'join game.' End of story. No stupid JOIN ROOM 23 SPAM SPAM SPAM I INVITE WHEN 224 OK?

Not to mention, no 'I CAN'T SEE GAME! CHANGE HOST pl0x!' *changes host 23842 times*

6. Autokicking for afk players. You don't need some saboteur on your team refusing to agree to a votekick anymore - the person is OUT after 5 mins of not leaving base. (Yea, I got kicked while brushing teeth once. And we were on the brink of victory already. Niapet.)

7. Private channels. Create your own channel and invite friends to join. You have admin capabilities over your own channel so goodbye public KPSs.

8. Stats recording. Kills, deaths, assists, apm, ck, cd anything you can think of is recorded permanently by default for sweet nostalgia. :) (You can opt to host stat-less games if you wish, to learn a new hero maybe.)

Best of all LEAVING is permanently recorded and you can host games with strict criteria to not let people above a certain % of leaves join.

And due to the current closed beta, people can't just spam create accounts to wipe their record clean. Therefore, they leave MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH less that in Garena. (Each game in GGC has a 99.99% leaver rate.)

9. -userinfo and /w (whisper) command. You can whisper to friend's already in game to see how far along their doing or just type -userinfo to see whose game they're in and how long since the match commenced. No more communication breakdowns.

10. Autoupdate. Everytime a new version comes out, the program will autoupdate when you next open it. This is compulsory so everyone's games are ALWAYS compatible. And you don't have to go map hunting at getdota.com.

Blah. Not to mention cooler graphics and sound effects. However, you may need a good graphics card and higher RAM for HoN so perhaps that's the only downside at the moment.

People complain that the heroes are imba. Please la, it's still in beta mode - that's what it's FOR. To make tweaks and improve gameplay overall.

And while I have seen some imba heroes (mostly the HoN originals) - Engineer wtf gatling gun - they are nerfed almost immediately. A few days waiting time, that's all.

Not like DotA where you have to wait AGES for a new map and new heroes.

Bah.

Okay la. I know I'm a shameless advertiser. The only reason I still play on Garena now is because I don't have enough HoN kakis yet.

SO GO AND DOWNLOAD LA.

Stop clinging on to DotA, however much you love it. It's obsolete and it's time to move on!

Yes I'm 100% biased.

www.heroesofnewerth.com

Play beta.

~_~ If you have no account I may be really nice and lend you mine. Open beta, where people can freely create accounts, has not commenced yet. Join their facebook page to know when beta keys are released so you can get yours ASAP.

And stop complaining that they're snobbish WTF LIMITED KEYS SO LANSI MEH?

It's CLOSED BETA people. A smaller testing group so bugs and stuff can be detected and reported and removed before the OFFICIAL RELEASE. (Don't know if they will charge upon official release though. PLAY IT NOW WHILE IT'S FREE!)

:)

Okay. Gonna go DotA now. Sadly. :(((

Note: Comparisons are made between HoN and Garena's DotA. I don't know much about UCPro or Blueserver, though I know both are vastly better than Garena anyway.

Glhf byebye.

Update:

I didn't know closed beta is open (ha ha punny) again exclusively to facebook fans.

BUT IT IS!

So go and be a fan and get your account now! :D:D:D

Kweesmuss

Merry Christmas to all!

I'm currently in Singapore for a holiday/shopping trip and onlining wireless-ly at my cousin's house with a 10.1" Acer lappie.

Waiting for the bf to come home. :)

He bought me the sweetest present ever! It's a small music box that plays our song (or at least a modified version that sounds like it.)

AWWWWWWWW.

The cute fella was so excited that he found the perfect gift that he actually blabbed it to me a while ago. But then he managed to convince me that he changed his mind and bought something else instead. I only half-believed him but I LOVE IT so much. Mushmushmushmushmushmush thank you baby! ^__^

On another note, I've been a bad bad gf and I haven't bought anything for him yet. WTF.

As most people know, I completely suck at shopping for presents, especially guys, and I thought I'd get him something from Singapore where it's all Christmassy and shopping-y and I'd be hit by a bolt of inspiration.

Mana tau, I accidentally told him that I was looking for his present just now and he sounded all wounded and like "you haven't bought my present yet? T___T"

AWWWW I SUCK BALLS LA.

Sorry sorry baby. Come home I give you lots of sayangs to make up for it okay?

ARGHHH PLEASE COME HOME NOW. There a lizard crawling around on the floor and some FUCKING HUGE GREEN BEETLE BUZZING AROUND NOISILY banging the ceiling and diving to the couch in turns.

OMG SCARY LA.

Ok ok I digress. I shall not get dist...FUCK IT LANDED NEXT TO ME FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Okay it's gone. I can't stand it much longer akjhdkajhdajgad I'm terrified please please please please come back now so I can webbie you and make kissy faces and run off to bed before I get devoured by a badass bug and put on Santa's shit list.

Chipette.

Chipettes are the female version of the Chipmunks. As in Alvin and the Chipmunks. I only found out when jie told me and mom in the car and we both burst out laughing while my sis just looked bewildered.

What vulgarity to come out of her clean mouth.

CHIPETTE is the new CHEEPET.

Cheers. Tired of typing edi, I'm scared the clicking noise of my typing sounds like a beetle's mating call or something and the bugger (punny haha) will come down and hump my hand.

FAKKKK IT FELL ON THE XMAS TREE!

LEARN TO FLY LA PEPET KO! MAMA NEVER TEACH! DIUUUUU.

T___T Ok Merry Christmas and good night all.

I love you baby. If you see this and I'm offline already, I'll call you tomorrow. :)

Slurps.

Only One

Okay I have to stop being vague with my bf lest I chase him away. D:

I've been very antsy about him coming to find me everyday cause it takes like 40 minutes and god knows how much $$ in lrt and cab fare just to come and see me sleep/wander around shopping. Not to mention he nicks all the bills sneakily/forcefully so I'm not only getting him to take me around but eating up his money *(@#(*@ *cringe

I mean I feel guilty that the relationship is so one-sided and he seems to be layaning my every whim while I just sit around and be pampered like a princess.

WHY AM I COMPLAINING?

He keeps reassuring me he's happy to do it for me, but I keep having this notion that if I keep making him run around for me he's going to run away! T_____T

Sigh. I kind of suck as a girlfriend. :(

But I will learn to be better and...*Sam arrives t my home to steal me away*

***********

OK. A few days later.

So yeah. You know when I saved my dating virginity, swearing only to commit myself to a relationship only when I truly loved a person and know they returned my feelings?

Yeah. I thought that since I'd been saving it so long, I could save up all my girlfriend-ing skills and become an 1337 gf overnight. What a crock of shit.

Now that I think of it, have you heard of virgins who are fucking awesome (punny ha ha) their first time in bed?

Nah, they'll probably end up sniffling in pain while fucking and then walking like they'd been kicked in the crotch for the next few days.

So yeah. The first time being in a relationship is very confusing for me as I don't really know what to do.

Am I too demanding? Am I too distant? Should I be more lax? Should I ask him to run around more? Should I pay? Should he pay? Am I being too dependant? Am I emasculating him?

????????????

There's always a time to learn and I'm glad we're going to learn together. It's his first relationship too and he's being the ideal boyfriend wtf I'm so lucky I couldn't ask for more.

Chipette. Mengapa dia pro sangat tapi I selalu menyakitkan hati dia?

Lame sial.

For now, everything's perfect. I love him and he loves me and we love each other. (Wtf redundant much?)

It's been a long and hard time growing up since the day he planted a kiss on me out of the blue. We've been apart for more than half the time we were a couple. I had such a hard time being without him all those months in Australia.

I mean, life's great in Melbourne. Social life's great, shopping's great, studies are great, even my skin's almost always great.

But I've always had this overwhelming feeling of loneliness when I've returned home from uni/hanging out and I'm sitting alone in my room, 7000km away from the one who matters.

At one point, I moved my laptop into my room and started leaving the webcam on overnight, every night, because even that small indicator of his virtual presence calmed me into sleeping soundly.

I've had emotional breakdowns, health problems, hissy fits, bitch tantrums and he went through all of them with me without complaint.

It sounds rather stupid and naive, but after all these years, I feel like I'm finally complete.

Phrase that springs to mind is "You complete me." from Jerry Maguire. Fuck, so cheesy.

But yeah, I'd gladly become a lump of cheese for him. I could go the rest of my life without seeing or knowing anything new and be content with what we are now.

I fail to imagine any guy after him. There can't be any guy after him.

He's my perfect guy. My only guy. :)

Sometimes I wonder whether this is some sort of comfort from above for taking away my father so early - by giving me another person to love and be loved by and finally make me feel safe again.

Please don't ever take him away.

Amen.

GG dot com

Hackery and 2 liang moi are coming to stay with me tomorrow.

In layman's terms: Mister Henry Tan and 2 of his girl friends are coming to stay in my house tomorrow ~_~ With Sam too!

Aku fail. I don't know where to take them, and even if they know where they want to go, neither Sam nor I have a clue about KL roads.

Yes, let's welcome our guests by getting them stuck in an epic 2-hour Friday jam that has not grown the slightest bit endearing even to KL citizens over the years. (I've gotten used to the potholes, floods and the death of the indicator already.)

:)

Anyway, something has been bothering me the past week or so. Have you ever left something unresolved, and it kept you up every now and then tantalizing you with thoughts of 'what if' and 'maybe'?

Imagine being given a chance to clear the air of what-ifs and maybes...only to find that they never existed - they were simply a figment of your imagination, trying to redeem a failed friendship in your mind?

The person never changed, there were never any alternative solutions, my mind just offered a plethora of different outcomes to give the person the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe the person has changed, maybe the person has woken up, maybe the person has decided to clean up their act.

But no. I was slammed in the face by the harsh reality of the situation: The damage is done; betrayed trust can never be fully restored. I feel as if I'd finally woken up and realised that the dog that bit me was not a midguided puppy with rabies - it's just a mangy bitch, plain and simple.

Okay. I take that comparison back. I love dogs. Let's not insult them now, shall we? :/

Stop stop stop trying to salvage broken relationships.

Some people try to picture their ex-friend or lover in a better or worse light, depending on how they want to remember them.

Some may imagine an ex-boyfriend to be emotionally abusive or stingy or negligent in an effort to get over that person and justify the break-up, although perhaps in reality it was the girl who was at fault.

(Of course, the genders may be reversed. I'm tired of saying 'the person' or 'he or she.' Don't be an overly sensitive butthole, ok?)

But for me, I tried to picture the person in question as a better person. Trying to remember the nice things that was done for me.

For a long time, I have justified the person's meanness and self-centered-ness by telling my friends and family: "The person has always treated me well, so I will always return the favour."

Now, when I've felt the sharp side of the person's sword, I realise that was such a weak and stupid excuse for putting up with behaviour that went against my principles and integrity.

Maybe I was too proud. Proud that I can adapt to most types of people and blend in with them; I can easily steal your trust and forge a bond with you if I simply try.

I was too stubborn, insisting that I can and will accept all types of people, regardless of their practices and beliefs. I was too insistent on showing that I was open-minded, and wanting a taste of all the different types of people the world has to offer.

I was wrong.

I have hurt many people, and they have all worried for my safety and any impact it would have towards my attitude.

I am sorry.

I may have adopted some cruel and callous behaviour over the period of the friendship, but I have never hurt people intentionally.

I am sorry to those people who were affected by our curious friendship and I am sorry to my family who put up with it.

My first wake up call was when I was put in a situation where I had to choose my loyalty between two friends.

I am glad I made the right choice.

The second wake up call was when I was contacted again by the person in question. Having not spoken for many months, I finally saw things from a clearer perspective.

And I am disgusted.

I am disgusted by the person's behaviour, ignorance, shallowness and plain self-centeredness.

I cannot believe I have been blind to it all this time.

Perhaps I always knew but chose to ignore it because we always had a good time together.

I finally realise that a good time is not enough reason to justify being mean, selfish and rude.

I'm glad I came to my senses.

I may not have many close friends. However, I'm sure you do agree that having precious few good friends is better than having an entourage of morally-impaired people who refuse to grow up.

IN conclusion...*deep breath*

I do not regret being selective in my relationships.

It's over.

Okay, that was a lot to get off my chest. ~_~

Amen. Good night to you too.

Politics

I hate politics!

Bah. Damn geli. Especially while playing games. Why is there a hierarchy? Are we not all equal?

Friends are friends. This is Counter-Strike, not the military. -_- While I understand that leadership is vital in a match, it should not really matter that much outside of it.

Again, I find the way people treat clans very distasteful. It's almost as if they created a clan just to feel some sort of 'power' where you can dictate what your clan members can and cannot do and have people groveling at your feet begging to have an exclusive taste of being a clan member.

I don't think clans are as prestigious as they are made out to be. To me, it's just a posh form of a clique. Bleargh.

Maybe it's just the way different people treat gaming.

For me, games are merely games - to pass time and have fun.

To others, it's a way to obtain honour, pride and rank.

Sigh.

I shouldn't care, but I do. I'll try not to, though. :)

Random strangers argue in the public channel whether I'm a guy or girl. I'm possibly a girl due to my very feminine username; I'm probably a guy because I tend to curse a lot when upset and can probably tapao them in a fair fight.

It's a sexist thing. But when I set the record straight, saying that I am, in fact, a female, they get all iffy and go GIRL NO NEED SO OBVIOUS COME AND TELL EVERYONE MAH!

D'oh. -__- If people were questioning your gender, your first instinct would be to correct them, no? That is, if you didn't intend to confuse people in the first place.

So yeah. I finally set things straight and I get called an attention-seeker. Fucking retarded laaaa aiyo.

Anyway, when I mentioned earlier that I could probably tapao them, it was directed to those who were gossiping la. Don't be offended if you're some pro fella who happened to read this alright?

:) I'm no pro, but I'm certainly an honest player who can whip some ass if I'm in the mood. ~_~

I know la, there are lots of pro players on Garena and I respect them. But for every clean and good player there are 1o3847198721 idiotic hackers/noobs who think they are the best at the game.

And those are the people I sincerely take pleasure in killing.

I also hate bullies. Or kiasu people who only stay in your server as long as they are on a killing streak, but leave the moment they get owned and keep coming back later to see if there are noobs to pawn.

Bah.

Geram.

Anyway tomorrow Henry is coming down from Ipoh with 2 liang moi to stay at my house. Hopefully the bf will be free to stay over too then we can really have fun and start the day together :)

Gonna bathe. Rant over. Baibai.

Just came back from Kota Kinabalu, where my oldest cousin finally married his high-school sweet heart. *dreamy sigh*

The wedding was done Western-style - the ceremony and dinner was supposed to be held on the beach, but alas!

Stormy weather!

So we had it indoors but it was amazing nonetheless. :)

Awwww it was so romantic la...makes me wish my wedding day would come earlier. *__* Which probably explained why I was the only person who chased after the bride's bouquet after her toss missed the whole crowd of girls.

My aunt picked it up, intending to hand it to my sister, but since I eagerly ran forward she gave it to me and I hoisted it high in triumph!

Kidding. I just took a picture with the bride, who proclaimed that her wedding dress was now mine to wear for my own wedding. WOW! I love the dress, its so pretty *__*

Afterwards, the bride and groom and some of the guests (40 people only) got a little bit high and started dancing and doing some raunchy stuff.

OH and they had the garter-removing ceremony that I like so much! Traditionally, the bride wears a garter (a band of fabric normally used to hold stockings up) around her thigh underneath her wedding gown. After the wedding, the groom is supposed to slide the garter of her leg with his teeth, signifying the end of the bride's virginity. *__*

My other cousin whispered to me that she could see her pepet and that luckily she had a brazilian wax WTF HAHA. Then the bride pula was saying really loudly that she wasn't wearing a bra etcetc WTF I dowanna get high on my wedding wei!

Anyway after that someone stuffed the removed garter down the front of the groom's pants and the bride had to remove it with her teeth. AHAHA looks so obscene, and it took so long too -______-

After that the groom did a lap dance for the bride where he unbuttoned his shirt before finishing it. Then the 80-year-old grandma shouted:

"THAT'S IT? TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!"

LOLOL what la these people rawkzors la. 80-years-old wei, no joke.

Entahlah, but I really enjoyed the wedding la, it's so much more fun that the usual waiting-forever-for-the-next-dish-to-come, 150 yamsengs from 150 tables and the old fart karaoke session at the end.

Did I mention we had barbeque dinner? Oh yes, lamb with mint gravy and cheese-stuffed sausages. I LOVE I LOVE YES YES!

Okay, I want my wedding to be something like this one la. :D:D:D

Pretty pretty family pic ^__^ Yes the dress code was white - I'm going to have a dress code for my wedding too so watch out la. I'm going to make you all dress as HoN heroes or in a CS outfit of your choice to celebrate how Sam and I met - through gaming ~_~

HAHA just kidding. But maybe la. See first. :P

Trust

Woke up early and spent the whole day in Sam's apartment. :D I'm super tired now and a bit grumpy. PMS, bitch!

Sigh. I know I shouldn't be, but I AM upset over the way things are going online.

My boyfriend is an extremely skilled and experienced CS player - to think people side 'reformed' hackers over him is just disgusting.

And this comes from so-called friends.

Heck, I was just playing with him yesterday. He cheered me on while I thrashed the opponents nearly 50-15, supposedly celebrating my return from the realm of perpetual lag.

And now I find that he doesn't trust my boyfriend's integrity. Sam? Hack? Hell no. How can he even do something that repulses him so much?

I guess they don't trust me either.

I used to be gleeful when people accuse me of hacking - that means you have to be somewhat above average to stand out. However, when supposed friends start doubting you, it is no longer funny.

I take pride in being honest. If I lose, I may get upset or pout but I will accept the fact that I lost fairly.

I would never cheat.

Never in my life have I used any kind of hacking software to gain the upper hand over fellow players.

The thought of it just makes me sick.

I used to trust my online friends to have the same attitude towards hackers, but lately my trust has been chiselled away by more and more suspicious acts and finally, the straw that broke the donkeys back: my close friend offered me an anti-recoil plugin.

I tried to laugh it off but since that day I have not really played with him much.

I just loathe injustice. Ok?

I trust my boyfriend's skill. I have seen him play with my own eyes, on MY computer, as have some of my other friends so I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that he is an honest to good, skilled player.

Doubting my trust in him means you doubt me too.

And I take offence.

I realise that both Sam and I are extremely mood-dependant players. If we're in a good gaming mood, we can sapu the opponents, no sweat. However if we're in a bad mood or not really in the mood for gaming, we can suddenly become astonishingly average (Sam) or simply bad (me.)

Maybe this inconsistency in performance is cause of suspicion?

Last night I was feeding 5-20+ in my friend's server, and growing increasingly agitated and restless, thus affecting my performance even more.

I took a break and went to fetch my spectacles. When I came back I killed 18 people in a row without dying - even the snipers which I hate so much.

Have I doubted someone I knew for exhibiting the same kind of behaviour?

Yes.

For all I know, my friend might be cheering me on, but silently wondering whether I had taken a break to go switch on some recoil hack or wall hack or some other shit.

We will never know.

For example, there's a really good player that Sam and I have met in real life. We have always doubted the authenticity of his skill, but we were never able to determine anything.

Sam saw hacking software in his thumbdrive that he plugged into the cyber cafe's computer.

Whether he used it or not is not the issue. What's important is that all doubts I had of him just flew to mind and took root there, refusing to dissipate.

Online friendships are so fragile.

Do any of us truly trust each other?

I don't know.

Some may say, don't make a big deal over hackers - it's just a game. You should care for your friends whether they hack or not.

For me, it's a matter of principle. If you can't play fair, don't play at all. Being dishonest in a game can easily translate to being dishonest in real life.

Some people are just skilled.

I guess I shouldn't trust people I meet playing online games.

For example, Henry started playing CS this year, and he's become one heck of a good player. I never saw anything wrong until remarks made by some people about him planted some doubts in my head.

He's my friend and I trust him. I know he's really skilled at gaming and murmurs from unknown people shouldn't affect our trust, right?

Right.

I still trust him, whatever people may say.

I've met him and he's a nice guy and I simply don't believe he would insult his own ego by resorting to rubbish hacks.

:)

So I guess people are right by saying that you should never trust anyone you meet online.

Hiding behind a monitor, who really knows what lurks behind that facade of friendliness?

But then again, I guess now and then we must be generous and entrust someone with our confidence and our heart.

After all, I did meet my boyfriend online didn't I?

Through the same gaming client that has chiselled away so much of my faith in humanity.

I've gained friends, I've lost friends.

I've been betrayed, disappointed, stalked, admired, talked about and scorned.

But most importantly, I've gained love.

That in itself, cures all of the hurt from the other bad things.

:)

Have faith.

Cuti-cuti Malayyyysiaaaa

If you didn't know, I have returned from Melb for a 3 month holiday :D

It seems like a long stretch of nothing-to-do-ness as I don't have anything like upcoming exams or holiday homework or a job. All I can foresee is days and days of butt-numbing gaming in front of the pc.

(YES I CALL MY MAC A PC, nehnehnibubu Apple freaks)

My laptop died the night I came home - it froze during startup, on both the Windows and Mac OS. This happened when I was trying to fix the network adapter and the pc hung and I gave it a hard reboot.

:/ So I took it to Epicenter in Pavilion and the guy said that my Bootcamp (Windows on my Mac) wasn't installed properly and he did it for me!

So now I have the Snow Leopard OS HOHOHO.

Not like I know what's the difference between Snow Leopard and just Leopard (the old one.)

But now my function keys no longer have errors and I can access my Mac hard disk from Windows! OMG so happy!

Therefore, I don't need to repartition my pc as I can access all files from both OS. Last time I could only pull files from Windows in Leopard and not the other way round.

*__*

3 days gaming and I've finally made it into the top 15 on Mun Yue's server. Haha! :D #14 now, with Sam at #15 HAHA.

But he hasn't been playing lately la, he's a a far better and more experienced player than me. I'm just the kind of see-people-then-shoot-lor kind of player.

3 different people called me hacker already YAY! You know you've made an impression on someone when they say you're cheating (but you're not.)

~_~

Poor Sammy got food poisoning. I was wondering why he never called this morning - he was supposed to come and hang out at my house.

Then at like 4 something he called my house phone (my sis was using my hp) and said that he got bad food poisoning and went to the hospital.

WTF. I feel like such a bad gf la. Never call and ask to see where he was =_= To be fair, my hp was my alarm and my sis took it so I woke up at 3.30 pm

Awww. Anyway he's been discharged and I'm going to wake up early tomorrow to go to his place and sayang him and feed him 100 plus and watch movies with him ^_^

My english teacher emailed me, saying that I scored 90% on my final paper, giving me a 90% average for the second semester.

HAHA I rock neneh. :P I finished the paper in 45 mins summore fuyoh...we had 2 hours to do it. ~_~ /lansi

Now I hope my other subjects scored as well la. I already know my Multimedia got about a 81~82% average.

I'm aiming for an 80% average overall but I don't think I can do it lor. Rasa macam gonna fall short a little (I got a 89.75% average on Sem 1 FAK)

I'll know in about a week or so and maybe I'll update la.

No mood to blog sial.

I just wanna go shopping and gaming and cuddle with bf and find my friends.

Feel like doing up my blog with flash as a holiday project but I don't know how to make it work properly on blogger.

But I will try la. :)

Whatever. I think I've become a very boring blogger.

So byebye la. Tomorrow have to wake up early and if I could cook I'd make chicken soup and suap my poor sick boy but I'd probably make him sicker if I do so I'm just gonna bring my laptop and lots of love :D

Good night.

Mystery google

:)

I read on MLIA all the time about how people go on Mystery Google and find funny stuff like "Get me out of school! *name* *school number*" and people actually call up the school and make up some random excuse to get the guy out of school.

@__@

Okay okay let me explain.

MLIA (acronym fo My Life is Average) is a website where people post up little anecdotes of their life that they find amusing or unusual.

Recently, there have been a lot of posts like this:

Curious, I went to find out how Mystery Google works.

The web page looks like this:

Basically, when you type something into the search box and google it, what turns up is not an answer to your query, but the last thing a person searched on google.com.

It's pretty random and is a good time-killer.

However, lately there have been people with the idea of searching their number or email in google with a task for the person who mystery googled them to do.

Here's what I got:

fav harry potter quote *phone number*

Being skeptical about the authenticity of the little stories on MLIA, I texted the number with one of the few HP quotes I remember:

"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."

Within minutes, I received a reply:

":D thank you! that made my night, kind sir or madam..."

Haha! It made my night too! I guess people actually do ask for pretty random stuff :)

Yea, don't lecture me about giving my number out to strangers. It's just once, for fun :D

The person lives in Brisbane :) I made a new friend today!

:D Cheers.

Today is not a good day

Don't know if it's the hormones or something.

I'm starting to hate myself for having bad thoughts about my friends. I hate spiteful people and I would hate it even more if I became one.

I can't help it. Negative thoughts just keep popping into my head and I'm immediately repulsed by them, but they just keep coming.

I don't want to turn into the person that brings everyone down - whether with a sour face, a sulky disposition or constant negative remarks over every single thing.

Maybe it's just jealousy that I'm no longer my lecturer's golden student, but I never used to be a jealous person. What happened?

I should be glad that my friends are finally doing better than I am. I guess I should learn how to manage the emotional impact of losing people's favour.

But it really hurts when I get back project after project of mediocre marks - still a distinction but barely. I can call myself lucky because I have a niggling feeling that my lecturers are giving me pity marks because they know I haven't been up to my usual standard due to some emotional issues.

I would have dearly loved to blame Amanda for insisting on working at home before class time whilst holding on to my printed projects that needed to be assembled before presentation.

But she did take the time to help me print them and buy the materials for me so I told myself to stop being such an ungrateful bitch and wonder why she can't assemble her work in class so I can finish it too, instead of coming after 2 pm which was the appointed presentation time.

I had a student meeting that day and couldn't do my printing so she did it for me. I thought she would meet me at class so I can assemble it within the 15 minute frame after my meeting and before my presentation.

But no, she decided to assemble it at her apartment because she was more comfortable there. So. I couldn't finish my project and ended up being really flustered and gave the WORST presentation of my life due to nerves.

But I thank my class for being extremely supportive and empathetic. And also to my lecturer for trying to understand the circumstances. She remarked that this was the most disorganized she had ever seen me and it was extremely unlike me to be unprepared for a presentation.

I dropped my lighting model. My torch fell and rolled across the floor. My development book fell apart cause the recently printed pictures were not glued in properly yet.

Blablabla.

I was a total wreck. It didn't help that my heart wasn't really in it as well.

I shouldn't be sour and I really hate myself for silently blaming it on Amanda. But when she got perfect marks - 100/100 while I barely made the distinction mark...

Lately, the lecturer has been giving her near full marks.

94

97

100

I still remember feeling so cheated after I stayed up 2 extra hours after I finished my assignment to help her with hers - until 5 freaking am and she got a better mark.

I start to wonder what's the use of me helping others when I'm just going to go without thanks nor recognition.

Then the better part of me instantly gives myself a tight slap upside the head. She's my friend. Why WOULDN'T I help her? And truly benevolent person does not expect anything in return.

But yeah.

I've had such a fucking shitty night and a shitty day.

My boiler cracked and it was pouring steaming hot water all over my carpeted room. I had to move everything out while some of the clothes on my closet floor got soaked and I had to sleep on the couch at almost 5 am after the plumber left around 4 something.

I went to class sleep-deprived and generally moody because I've been getting my latest assignment marks back and they were way below my standard.

I spent the day watching her gleefully converse with her whole family who have managed to secure tickets to visit her in Melbourne next May and June, get 100 on her lighting project and generally have a really nice day.

Then my Design Comm lecturer said she printed the wrong picture for her final for the yearbook cover. She forgot to pdf it and the lecturer saw a different version in his email inbox than the one she had and so it wasn't the one he was expecting her to hand in.

I would have been a little bit more sympathetic if it hadn't happened before 3 assignments ago.

I mean I'm so bad as to go around gloating at her misfortune. I really felt sorry for her. I did.

That is until she started walking around with a black face and loudly complaining I NO MOOD ALREADY I NO MOOD ALREADY.

I felt like screaming no fucking mood for WHAT?

I'm the one with the fucking flooded room.

I'm the one who has to sleep on the hard couch with a fly buzzing around the whole night.

I'm the one who had to stay up til late until the plumber went home.

I'm the one whose boyfriend couldn't get tickets to come and visit me.

I'm the one who got fucking shitty marks for nearly every assignment in the past 2 months without adequate explanation for my lecturers.

AND YOU'RE WHINING NON-STOP ABOUT A POSSIBLE DISTINCTION+ AND NOT A HIGH DISTINCTION?

Girl, please.

I feel so incredibly bitchy.

I'm not really upset over losing the golden girl status.

I'm more upset with my reactions to it.

I can't help having all these horrible thoughts and I hate it.

I don't want to become a petty person.

Life is never fair. I have to learn that life can't be all about justice and equality.

Just do what you can to help your friends and yourself and move on.

That's the best we can do.

So why am I feeling so torn between the feeling of whacking her, then whacking him, then banging my head repeatedly until it cracks and the feeling that I'm an extremely spiteful and ungrateful person?

Half of me is sour over the circumstances.

The other half is hating myself for being sour.

I feel like I'm becoming a worse and worse person as time passes.

*cracks head against wall*