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Hackery and 2 liang moi are coming to stay with me tomorrow.

In layman's terms: Mister Henry Tan and 2 of his girl friends are coming to stay in my house tomorrow ~_~ With Sam too!

Aku fail. I don't know where to take them, and even if they know where they want to go, neither Sam nor I have a clue about KL roads.

Yes, let's welcome our guests by getting them stuck in an epic 2-hour Friday jam that has not grown the slightest bit endearing even to KL citizens over the years. (I've gotten used to the potholes, floods and the death of the indicator already.)

:)

Anyway, something has been bothering me the past week or so. Have you ever left something unresolved, and it kept you up every now and then tantalizing you with thoughts of 'what if' and 'maybe'?

Imagine being given a chance to clear the air of what-ifs and maybes...only to find that they never existed - they were simply a figment of your imagination, trying to redeem a failed friendship in your mind?

The person never changed, there were never any alternative solutions, my mind just offered a plethora of different outcomes to give the person the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe the person has changed, maybe the person has woken up, maybe the person has decided to clean up their act.

But no. I was slammed in the face by the harsh reality of the situation: The damage is done; betrayed trust can never be fully restored. I feel as if I'd finally woken up and realised that the dog that bit me was not a midguided puppy with rabies - it's just a mangy bitch, plain and simple.

Okay. I take that comparison back. I love dogs. Let's not insult them now, shall we? :/

Stop stop stop trying to salvage broken relationships.

Some people try to picture their ex-friend or lover in a better or worse light, depending on how they want to remember them.

Some may imagine an ex-boyfriend to be emotionally abusive or stingy or negligent in an effort to get over that person and justify the break-up, although perhaps in reality it was the girl who was at fault.

(Of course, the genders may be reversed. I'm tired of saying 'the person' or 'he or she.' Don't be an overly sensitive butthole, ok?)

But for me, I tried to picture the person in question as a better person. Trying to remember the nice things that was done for me.

For a long time, I have justified the person's meanness and self-centered-ness by telling my friends and family: "The person has always treated me well, so I will always return the favour."

Now, when I've felt the sharp side of the person's sword, I realise that was such a weak and stupid excuse for putting up with behaviour that went against my principles and integrity.

Maybe I was too proud. Proud that I can adapt to most types of people and blend in with them; I can easily steal your trust and forge a bond with you if I simply try.

I was too stubborn, insisting that I can and will accept all types of people, regardless of their practices and beliefs. I was too insistent on showing that I was open-minded, and wanting a taste of all the different types of people the world has to offer.

I was wrong.

I have hurt many people, and they have all worried for my safety and any impact it would have towards my attitude.

I am sorry.

I may have adopted some cruel and callous behaviour over the period of the friendship, but I have never hurt people intentionally.

I am sorry to those people who were affected by our curious friendship and I am sorry to my family who put up with it.

My first wake up call was when I was put in a situation where I had to choose my loyalty between two friends.

I am glad I made the right choice.

The second wake up call was when I was contacted again by the person in question. Having not spoken for many months, I finally saw things from a clearer perspective.

And I am disgusted.

I am disgusted by the person's behaviour, ignorance, shallowness and plain self-centeredness.

I cannot believe I have been blind to it all this time.

Perhaps I always knew but chose to ignore it because we always had a good time together.

I finally realise that a good time is not enough reason to justify being mean, selfish and rude.

I'm glad I came to my senses.

I may not have many close friends. However, I'm sure you do agree that having precious few good friends is better than having an entourage of morally-impaired people who refuse to grow up.

IN conclusion...*deep breath*

I do not regret being selective in my relationships.

It's over.

Okay, that was a lot to get off my chest. ~_~

Amen. Good night to you too.