Sunday, August 31, 2008

Picture log

I'm sleepy and have no intention to write too much so here are some random pictures I felt like posting up:


This is the small jar of paint I drew as some sort of a warming up exercise on Friday. There's something that looks extremely odd about it - I think the cover's lopsided - and my shading still cannot make it!


This is some random model that was also Ling's college homework.
I kinda killed it. LOL. I can't draw open mouths so I just closed it. I was whining about how I couldn't texture hair so Ling did some for me to I could see how it's done. *points at top left hand side*

She says that I don't dare to shade too hard (or maybe I'm just lazy, lalala rolleyes) so you can see her part where it's slightly darker than the rest (my lighter strokes.) The face turned out slightly pissed off looking (which is not good because the model had a sort of playful smirk which apparently, I murdered.)

Also, she had taken on a slightly Asian look in the process which is DEFINITELY not the in the reference picture where the model is so Angmoh it hurts. Furthermore, the picture looks 2D. =_=
(My hand smudged the page a lot while shading so it look like she's bruised all over her face HAHA)

After a while, I got bored of shading in hair and started conteng-ing. I liked the rough initial sketch that materialized and decided to outline and colour it in even though I know my colouring skills border on primary school kid-ish.

I had fun with this one and had no intention of including it in my folio, but maybe I will.
The right side of her body is retarded, for one thing - I didn't bother to fix it. Thought I was just doing it for fun anyway. (And the pants look like groundnuts HAHA!)


Oh, in case you didn't know, this is supposed to be a kid version of Traxex the Drow Ranger.
She used to be one of my favourite DotA heroes, and with Jon and Jie's encouragement I started using her again after months of neglect.

(If the left shoulder looks lopsided, it's actually hidden under the cloak. It's not so obvious here.)

Den also said she looked a bit sad.
I think she's just supposed to look tired. mrgreen

Okay, enough with my attempted art pieces for my folio and on with the random indulgent ones.


THIS *dramatic pause* is the part of my thigh that collided with the edge of a solid wooden bench yesterday while racing for the phone. mad

I'm telling you, I was born a klutz! IMBA horrible-looking bruise wei!
Then today while I was playing I noticed my knee bleeding. WTF! I cut it somewhere and never even noticed. *insert frustration swt emoticon here*


I took this picture in a compulsive fit a few days ago.
I've always wondered how I looked like with my eyes closed.
When I was young - about 6 or so - I used to narrow my eyes to slits in an attempt to see how I looked. But of course, my pained and pissed off reflection just glared back at me (with narrowed, obviously still open eyes.)

Alternatively, I convince myself that I could see myself with my eyes shut at the VERY instant I closed them. Consequently I tried focusing hard on my eyes in the mirror and shutting them extremely quickly - hopefully before my my brain could register that my eyes were already closed.

Of course, this is scientifically impossible. But try explaining that to an overdetermined 6-year-old. rolleyes


Eyes, eyes! XD


Temporarily reverted to my old habit of doodling on my hand with a ball point pen.
This is my chinese name (Shan Wen.) I thought it looked quite pretty although the left side of the 文 got washed off.

Okay. I feel happier after posting up the pictures and I'm going to sleep soon.
It's 4 am and although I can hear Chia breathing into the mic while playing goodness knows what cute game and totally forgetting that I'm still here, I feel drowsy.

Oh yea! Arief is so random. Lol.
I was super duper bo song at Kenny this afternoon while DotAing with him and being a mutual friend, he tried to step in and stop me from tearing Kenny's head off. Needless to say, it took a lot of my willpower to stop myself from attacking him in an attempt to displace my fury.
mad

For the rest of the day he was being super duper layan, but I was still a bit miffed at Kenny.
I sat there and CSed with him for a while until his parents came home and he went offline and I went to play minigames with Nick, KC, Jon, Jie and Chia (henceforth collectively known as the Skypies for lack of a better term.)

Later, at night, he suddenly messaged me:

*ding dong* . . . . Someone at the door as ur mind thinking who would come at this hour. As u open the door - arief pop ups with red n pink roses in his hand as he open his mouth and says good nite darling. muaks! :) sweetdreams

Walao. How can you not go awww when something like this pops out from nowhere?
Well, maybe you would puke all over the keyboard, but I find it amusing.
rolleyes Started laughing in the middle of my conversation with the Skypies.

My tak puas feeling melted away completely. cool Smartass knows I'm a sucker for roses, imaginary or not.

However, I shall NEVER get involved with Kenny again.
GRRR. evil

Kenny joined Nick's clan for a while after Sherman demoted him for being a nuisance and nudging the clan chat continuously.

"Why the hell is Kenny in your clan?"

A panicky Nick to me: "Omg, not again!"

(He and Riefy have fought over the stupid issue of 'stealing' clan members before. -_-)

"He requested to join after he was demoted in X|MoD and Zerick just approved."
"Who demoted him?"
"Sherman."
"For what?"
"Er..."

I thought I'd better intervene at this point.

"Cause I asked him to. (:"
"Why?"
"He was nudging a lot and being annoying."
"It's okay, we don't want him here anyway. You can have him back."
"LOL."

Jie: "Don't we need to vote before we kick a member?"

"My vote outweighs everyone else's. Kick him. (:"

Doll: "Lol. It's like Steph has taken us all hostage. =_="

"Mwahaha =X"

*Kenny is kicked from clan*

The next day, Kenny was back in Arief's clan and the story ended happily without those two clan lords exploding all over each other. (Again!)
biggrin

Oh god, it would totally suck to be Kenny. No one really wants him around (except maybe Arief.)
sad I'd feel more sorry for him if he weren't so irritating.

Heh. Heh. I've written such a long grandma's story again even though I fully intended to post the pictures and run.

So yeah, sleep time! Jon asked me to wake up early tomorrow so i can play with him.
=_=
Early? On a Sunday?

lol YEA RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

(But being such a sucker, I probably will, if he calls me. neutral)

Friday, August 29, 2008

Mystery

The Mystery of the Vanishing Battle Fury.
neutral

Zeo accussed me of getting rid of his battle fury (some item in DotA)

We were all truly confused as to HOW an item could disappear - it's not like it drops/vanishes upon death like a Rapier or Aegis. At first he assumed that someone stole it/sold it, but the new versions disallow people to use or pawn items that belong to others.

However, items can still be destroyed.

Well yea, it suddenly vanished and I became the scapegoat. -_-
Earlier, I accidentally picked up someone's item by walking on it, but I realised it less than a minute later and returned it.

He said that I was RIGHT on top of the item before it vanished - I must have destroyed it.

There are numerous ways an item could disappear.

1. It can be sold
2. It can be destroyed
3. It can be picked up by an ally or enemy

Well, to pick up an item you right click it.
To destroy it, you hold down the A button and left click it.

=_=

How could I have mistakenly destroyed his item then?
And why the hell would I do it on purpose?

For one thing, I just instructed my hero to go back to base before I turned to watch the action on other parts of the map.

Then suddenly he started cursing and asking where his battle fury went.

After many rounds of arguing, he said nevermind, forget it. But I could still feel that he was angry at me.

evil

Feeling extremely dissatisfied at being accussed so bluntly, yet somewhat unsure of myself - accidents DO happen, especially if your body is on autopilot - I sat down and watched the replay.

53 freaking minutes I sat through at 8x speed until I reached the part where the item mysteriously vanished. I slowed it down to real speed.

Zeo was at base combining items to make recipes.
Terrorblade was running around in circles, regenerating.
I was walking home from the top lane.

Zeo put the item down on the ground slightly above him - so that the body of his hero blocked it from sight.

At the same time, I reached base and walked directly on top of the item.
Terrorblade, wandering around previously, walked upward and stood on the same spot as well.
AND - what are the odds? - at the very same moment, a dead hero respawned at the same place.

The colourful animation obscured the spot I was trying so very hard to see.

However, it was certain that the item was destroyed, as opposed to picked up and sold.
I heard the 'crack' sound of an item being broken as I walked into base.

I was 90% sure that the sound happened JUST before I reached the fountain.
But since visual evidence is impossible to obtain (I tried viewing the footage from every angle) - how it vanished and who destroyed it will always remain a mystery.

And I guess I'll always be labeled as the accidental item destroyer/stealer from now on.
mad

I didn't do it! I'm innocent!
cry He doesn't believe me...

Sigh. Anyway, something really stupid happened while I was playing CS in Ftz today.

I was playing with Ying against Zircoco and another opponent who was so-so (around as good - or bad - as I was; maybe slightly better.)

Ying and I were being pawned repeatedly. I mean, 2 noobs on the same team versus a so-so player and a more experienced one, what do you expect?

Anyhow, I was in a relatively good mood today. Yesterday some other fella - bu$hy - and his teammate both bought snipers - Awps; horrible one-hit KO stuff - and bullied Ying and I to kingdom come.

2 experienced snipers versus 2 noob handgun users (we were practising our Desert Eagles)

Even if you don't know shit about CS, you could tell me with 100% certainty which team was be victorious.

Run out and BAM! You're dead without even getting a good look of the sniper's position.
@&I$^*@#%!!

And they NEVER got tired of it! They just kept killing the both of us relentlessly. I mean, it may be fun to pawn noobs after a while - I don't really mind dying once in a while - but don't you get BORED? WTF!

Spawn, snipe, end of round.
Spawn, snipe, end of round.
Spawn, snipe, end of round.
And it went on and on.

Use rifle la at least, pls. We're both using handguns.
Hehe.

*BAM!*

I left the game. -_-

Screw them!

Well, anyway, I digress.

Back to today's less-than-stellar-yet-better-than-yesterday's performance.
Ying and the other guy were dead.

Only Zircoco and I remained.
I was carrying the Deagle and rounding the corner of the catwalk when I heard rifle fire.
I flinched when I saw him and started firing.

Miss.
Miss.
Miss.

I was just about to melt in the agony of embarassment when I wondered why I wasn't dead yet.
Normally I'd be dead within the first 3 shots - if I wasn't killed by a headshot immediately.

Then I paused - oh who cared if I died AGAIN? - and took a good look.

snowbunnie: HAHAHAHA

He was running around - as Jon would say: a headless chicken - with his AK pointed in the air, raining pellets down upon the both of us.

WTF!

He started laughing.
I couldn't bring myself to continue shooting as I knew I WOULD miss the subsequent shots and further embarass myself by taking forever - oh, 10 minutes or so? -to pawn someone who wasn't even FIRING at me.

Viv was urging me to faster take out my handgun and shoot him!
I didn't bother to tell her that I WASN'T out of ammunition like she assumed (why else would I be running around staring at my opponent without shooting?) and that I WAS already using my handgun - I didn't buy a rifle.

snowbunnie: LOL come come

I drew my knife.
I KNEW I would die, but save some dignity ma...better than letting him allow me to pawn him for free (and take 30 shots to do so.)

And that is how I got knifed today.
rolleyes

I get knifed everytime I play CS in Ftz, but today's experience was just plain amusing.
It was on a fair playing level too - I wasn't backstabbed. (I was at 54 hp from the pellets raining down from the sky though, but oh well =x)

Hehe, and I felt exceedingly smug when I pawned the stupid bully bu$hy 3 times today with my handgun. Big fat bully was using his beloved sniper again and I was being Rambo with a titchy gun again. D:

I pawned him once by luck with a headshot.
I pawned him another time while he missed the first shot by rampaging toward him as he reloaded.
I pawned him another time by jumping all over the place so he couldn't lock in on me and firing vaguely in his direction.

mrgreen

And I'm so gleeful about the second time too, because I was actually caught between two snipers.
Both missed and I took down the first one pretty easily - his back was turned towards me and by the time he whirled around I'd already put a good 4 bullets in him.

Then, I waited for the next BAM then ran to the nearest crate and popped out inches from the second sniper's face. Heehee. Thank God for the reload time on the stupid Awp.

But overall, I fed like WOOT today.
I kept dying for no good reason.
redface It's like I have deteriorated and now I'm playing like I just learned CS again.

Oh well.

Today I almost drove Viv ballistic as she taught me how to play pool.
Admittedly, I suck at most sports but my pool...whoa.

I can hit the cue ball in the completely wrong direction altogether.
Lol, she was so tense I didn't know whether to laugh or pity her for having such a horrible student that had zero spatial judgment.

cool Almost skewered a few people with the cue stick too.
Well, at least she didn't start screaming at me. rolleyes I know I kept repeating some mistakes, but hey, it was my first time. Eventually I did learn not to flick the cue stick up after hitting the ball and to grip it properly between my thumb and index finger so it wouldn't wobble all over the place as I took my shot.

Both my wrists ached after playing, but it was fun.
biggrin We went karaoke-ing for roughly 10 minutes after that. K-box just opened on the first floor of Asia Cafe - it's together with the pool arena and singing is free until this Sunday, I believe.

Banshees.
That's the only word needed to describe our vocal prowess then.

eek

It rained early this morning and I was stuck in a massive traffic jam on the way to Subang.
I reached school 35 minutes late for my English paper. I finished it in 15 minutes and managed to hand it in.

This means that I don't have to go for the last session during English class tomorrow!

Well, mom gave me the all-clear to ponteng for the first time this year to stay home and work on my portfolio with Yap.
smile So, no school tomorrow (I've also managed to talk Jon out of going to school tomorrow LOL I'm such a good influence - in my defense, he already didn't intend to go razz)

Ok. Gonna sleep now.
Long artsy fartsy day tomorrow.
-waves-

Sui, I'll do your tag tomorrow with Ling, ok?
Good night.
rolleyes

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Tribute

Today was the first out of three days of my text production exam: personal reflection/narrative writing. We had 4 texts to read from and interpret; from there we had to write a 300-400 word text.

Initially, I was going to write a short narrative based on Pearl Jam's song 'Last Kiss.' Actually, I did - last night. It ended up 1000+ words as you may have known from the previous post so there was no way I was going to reproduce that essay from memory EVEN IF the word limit had been increased.

I sat there stoning for a while, wondering what to write on the topic of sadness and death.
Though it pained me, I decided to write what my sister called a tribute of sorts to our friend, Erica.

It's not really awe-inspiring or anything like that, but I tried my best and what with the word-limit and time-constraint, this was what I came up with:

Erica

There are two things in this world that are absolutely certain – life and death. Everything that lives eventually comes to an end. The question is: How young should a person be to be considered ‘too young to die?’


I had a friend named Erica. She was a happy, loving child of Caucasian and Asian descent. Her smile and aura of joy never failed to light up a room. Erica’s skin was pale – unusually so – no one knew it then, but it was a harbinger of bad things to come.


One day after school, I was given the bad news – Erica had just been diagnosed with leukaemia. A cancer of the blood, it was usually characterized by fainting spells and increased vulnerability to infections. She had always been a sickly child, but no one truly saw this coming. The diagnosis was akin to a slap in the face to her parents and friends.


She was nine when we learned of her disease. Initially, I was devastated. However, my mother insisted that she was young and would surely recover. I believed her.


The chemotherapy was a harrowing experience for Erica. I visited her in the hospital after a recent bout one day. She showed me an emptied tissue box. Tentatively, I peered within and what it held broke my heart. Inside laid numerous strands of her beautiful golden-brown hair that had fallen – a common side effect of chemotherapy. “It’s falling, but I’m keeping them, see?” She bravely flashed that huge grin of hers although you could clearly see weariness radiating from her eyes. I spent some time with her and before bidding her goodbye I assured her: “You’ll get better soon.”


That was the last time I saw Erica alive. Riding home from school a few days later – not unlike the day I received the news of her diagnosis – my mother informed me that Erica had started haemorrhaging internally and could not be saved.


My face betrayed no obvious emotion during her wake that night. For a long time, I leaned against her piano – the instrument she would never grow up to master – and wondered how she could have died so young. After much reflection, I decided that there is no age where it is considered ‘too young to die.’ Although Erica had only been nine at the time of her passing, her life had been filled with happiness and many joyful relationships. Excluding the painful last days of treatment, you could say that she had lived a fine life.


However young she may have been, I have learned to come to terms with one simple fact – life can be uncertain, but as long as every bit of it is savoured, there will be no regrets when it is taken away.


*** The End ***



Yea, I still have to work on my writing skills. The frustration of knowing what exactly is wrong and being at a loss of how to fix it...RAWR! evil

Again, my self-esteem has taken a deep plunge.

Why am I not good enough? cry

It's one thing to fail at Accounts, which I absolutely have no interest in.
It's something else entirely when you fail at doing something you love.

It's like, if I can't succeed doing something I enjoy, am I doomed to spend the rest of my life doing something I don't like?

Succeed and be miserable or be try and fail repeatedly to do something I love?

Pick the latter, you say. D'oh! Is there really a choice?
But think again, even if it's something you love - doesn't constant failure seem daunting?

Sigh. Nevertheless I will work as hard as I can to improve my drawing as well as my writing.
Who knows? Success may lie not too far down the road.
wink

Gambateh.
Wish me luck.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Uncertainty

So, I got a letter from RMIT saying that they're holding my application for my first choice - Digital Art - until I can submit a folio of 15 pieces of my work.

=.=?

I asked the placement center staff in charge of RMIT and she said that folios are only needed if you wanted to transfer credit blablabla, SAM students no need etcetc.
-_-

So now I have to rush my folio - at least 15 pieces of drawings/paintings/sculptures/short stories/scripting/films/animation/graphic design that showcases my conceptual and technical skills.

Good lord.
I must submit them ASAP and I don't really have ANYTHING yet.

Just now I rushed a short story - I planned to do about 5 each of short stories, drawings and paintings.
I let Nick and Ling read it and they both came up with similar comments.


Nick:
Nice style of writing/plot development but quite emotionless

Ling:
Lack of feeling, short ending


Lol. I have no feeling.
sad

Anyway, I was using the narrative method which I'll be using tomorrow for my 400-word-max text production exam. So, I have trouble evoking any sort of feeling while writing as a third-person. The way I write it is more like a neutral observer merely narrating the sequence of events.


It ended 1k+ words long - way too long to post here, so if you wanna take a peep just message me.
redface All criticisms accepted.

I'm having serious doubts about my future education. The whole portfolio issue is giving me scary thoughts. crycry

Here I am, a science stream student with commerce education and absolutely ZILCH art fundamentals up against people who probably dedicated half their lives (or at least free time) to art.
*tremble*

Sniff.

I can't even draw a human in the correct proportions.

I can't colour.

I can't shade.

I can't paint.
I can't draw folds of clothing.

I can't texture hair.

I can't use photoshop.

I don't know how to use a tablet properly.


OMG what have I gotten myself into?


I mean, I'd love to learn, but I'm gonna be like at the bottom of the class.

Wtf. For the first time in my life.


*changes topic*

I (along with a few other people) got 10/14 for out maths project - highest in our class.
;D
But actually our class just sucks - other classes got 12 as their highest. -.-


This was a 3 days group assignment, 4th day individual. My whole group got 7 or 8. =.=
Shows how much I let them copy my work. On the last day they probably killed the paper. Swt.


But I feel better to be - at the very least - on par with the smart-alecks in my class.
mrgreen
At least I know I'm roughly on track and not falling far behind.


I got 17.5/20 for my econs essay.
mrgreenmrgreenmrgreen
(Have I said that before? Whatever, I'm happy with it so I'll say it again!)


Today I returned to Ftz after 1 week of holidays.


It doesn't feel like home.
...Did you think I was going to say otherwise? Hehe.
razz

I was so sleepy I almost fell asleep on the table.
But with Ying and Vivi CSing it's kind of hard to stay sleepy.

I decided to use a handgun for the whole day today. cool I don't really know why. I just find the desert eagle so pretty. rolleyes



And also, I think it's the only handgun who can OHKO with a headshot - which is good. I miss a lot so every shot counts - and it only has a 7 bullet capacity so I have to reload super often. =.=

I mostly died reloading today.
Hah.

I think my Kill-Death ratio was roughly 2:3 which was surprising, cause I usually get worse even when using rifles.
Maybe I've improved over the holidays? Hmm. There are certainly more headshots! mrgreen

And yes, I got knifed to death AGAIN.
I think I have been identified as a CS noob in Ftz. Wtf.
See me liao they sure take out the knife and chopchopchop me to death.
cry

At least Cloudy was on my team today - he makes it a ritual to knife me at every oppurtunity.
=.=

And goodness knows from where some person was watching us play today.
Idiot kept talking to us.

Don't sit like that la, not good.

Wa, msn while playing? Pro o.
Wa, bunnie so naughty keep play people's handgun hehe.

Literally it means 打手枪 which means masturbating.
Wtf.

=.=
At first I ignored the fella - Wen Jie has made me nearly immune to these kinds of remarks. (There's one joke about a 'washing machine,' maybe I'll tell you another time.) Then Viv was like "stop trying to flirt la, so disgusting =.="

He didn't talk much after that. Problem solved. Lol.

And over the holidays I have developed a habit of typing NOOOOOOOOOOOO or WHYYYYYYY or SKJFGJHGFJBSJ whenever I die.
I'm starting to annoy myself but it's almost automatic now. mad

Bad habit. Ptooey!


Also, I have gotten into the habit of afk-ing during the first 10 minutes or so of DotA games to go and shower.
LOL.


It drives some people nuts, but most of my friends are ok with it. biggrin
It gives them 2 solo lanes (4 heroes/3 lanes ma) while I'm busy scrubbing myself in the shower. Then I come back and I get to solo to level up.


This is providing, of course, that the opponents aren't too aggressive or I'd start dying and dying and dying.


And I STILL feel so bad that Wen Jie, Chia and Jon doubt my chinese education.

They said my accent is so cute - like a malay or angmoh TRYING to speak chinese.

WTF!


6 years (including kindergarten) of chinese education gone to waste.
-_-
Bananas ftw.


我的华语那么差吗?

sad All you chinese-speaking dudes out there please come and converse with me in mandarin.
I'm trying to do that with Chia and Jie now but they end up laughing at me eventually.
Zzz.

That day Wen Jie made his little cousin come on Skype and ask me:


"姐姐会讲华语吗?"

(Jiejie can you speak chinese?)

I felt like killing Jie.

"Er...一点点...可以 gua..."
(Er, a little bit, can gua...)

Nick:
"哦,我会讲华语的. 妹妹别担心!"

(O, I can speak chinese, don't worry meimei)

I felt like killing him too! evil

Like that la! Make fun of me lor...now allow me to blind you with my engerish!

RAWRRR!

*acts nonchalant but is sad inside*

cry