Portfolio finished!

FINALLLYYYY!

After slightly over a month...although I think the actually working days were less than 10.
I feel much better now that I've done my part and gotten it off my chest.
Whether I get accepted now is all up to the uni people.

Next thing on the hit list:

STUDY!

Omg.
Finals in less than a month and my results are just average.
I know I say it all the time - I can do better, yet the results ALWAYS come out so-so.
-_-

My papers all ended up in the 60s (YES ENGLISH) and I got 51 for my Accounts.
What pains me is that I actually studied this time, except for IT and Accounts.
And English.
Maths...? Hardly.

WTF I ONLY REALLY REALLY STUDIED FOR ECONS.
I just realised. Fuck. Damn dense la wei.
It just dawned on me that SWARNA was at my house studying while I mumbled answers to her questions (don't know correct or not) and basically got my ass off the computer chair only every few minutes to peep over her shoulder. I think the peeping made me feel a little bit better about myself and gave me the notion that I actually studied.

Hm. I think it's because I really read the Econs text book cover to cover (except chapter 7) that I thought I studied very hard for the trials. Mana tau that's actually the only subject I really paid attention to.


Well, anyway I'm happy that Jern is back to normal again.
He spent half the day rambling about how much he loves root beer today instead of moping about his life like he usually does and even said he'll buy me a root beer float when I see him.
Woowoo I love root beer!

Oh, I just read Nicole's post on her primary school days, and I AGREE!
I was also ugly when I was a kid.

So hideous that when I look back at pictures now I laugh (if I'm in a good mood) or cringe/shudder/wince/stop breathing (in a bad mood.) Seriously, I was like the nerd of all nerds.

I had this uber mushroom hair cut, bunny teeth, an overbite, crooked glasses and was wayyy too tall and gangly for my age. I also slouched and tended to trip over my own feet. I wonder how I made friends. HAHA.

I also remember not smiling much when I was younger due to my horrible teeth and lips.
I can't believe I refused to put braces at that time, citing the common phrase 'everyone looks good when they smile.'

BULLSHIT! LOLOLOL.

How many times have you seen a cute guy/girl brooding in a corner while you stared at them, thinking how gorgeous they look. Suddenly, they turn around and look. You stiffen, embarassed to be caught looking. Then, they smile.

Your eyes bulge and you smother a gurgle from your throat as they expose their up and down and all about teeth. One tooth in front of another, one tooth turned 45 degrees to the left. *shudders*

Not that I'm saying that having ugly teeth is a crime.

However, saying NO to braces when your parents are willing and can afford is.

Totally. I thank my parents for forcing me into it.
God knows how many times a day I'd bang my head against the wall if they had given in and let me have my way.

o.O

And don't judge me for being superficial.
Looks aren't everything, you say?
Well they aren't, but they certainly ARE something.

Let's see if you could live completely at peace with THESE teeth, knowing full well you could have corrected them:

Everyone looks good when they smile. Really?
Maybe.

45 degree teeth.

Could you? Really?
My teeth were something like the last picture.

No. Uglier, even.

One day I'll bring back the mould from my dentist when it's all over and you'll see the extent of the hideousness.

Well anyway, I'm glad they look better now.
I'll be forever grateful to those 7 years of damnation to metal and plastic.

That's not to say I feel very pretty right now.
I mean, things have certainly changed.

I walk mostly upright now, though I still slouch when I sit.
Mom's improved IMMENSELY with the hair cutting - though I wouldn't say no to a professional haircut.
Contacts.
I'm still just as clumsy, but I no longer trip and fall - I just trip.
Also, the boys have MOSTLY caught up in terms of height, so I don't stick out like a sore thumb anymore.

Oh oh!
And people say I look more Chinese now.
o_O
Huh.

When I was in primary, people used to ask me which country I came from. -_-
Wha? Even adults used to comment that I look mixed.

I realised that I don't get that anymore.
I wonder what happened.

Did my eyes start getting smaller?
Did my nose become flat?
Or what? What?


Some days I still feel ugly as hell.
So bony, with circles under the eyes, patchy skin, doughy jawline for someone so thin and hair that insists on imitating a modern art sculpture...

Dayum.

...

...

.

But some days I feel pretty!
Especially if someone pays you a compliment - it just really makes my day.
I remember that day Grace and Tyranne peeped into Nick's webcam and they exclaimed excitedly in Chinese. "She's so pretty!"

Me: Wtf? -_- *looks away*

They continued with their 'wahhhh's and 'whoaaaa's until I was sure they were mocking me.
I glared at Nick's webbie until Nick moved away and their faces slowly emerged.

Fuck.
So sincere lo.
*blush*

Oh, their exclamations were also accompanied by:

"Wa, she's so skinny leh."

Seriously, I cannot meet a single new person with someone commenting on that.

WOW!
YOU'RE SO TALL!
YOU'RE SO THIN!

...

WOW!
I DIDN'T KNOW!
I HAVEN'T NOTICED!

Thanks for your obvious observations.

Anyway, about my quest to gain weight - I'm back to 45kg.
Diuuu! That day I hit 46.5 already lo.



FEED ME, PEOPLE!

I almost left out the comma, but it's late so excuse me. Good night anyway.
I'm sleepy. FRIDAY 了!
WOO!