Just came back from Kota Kinabalu, where my oldest cousin finally married his high-school sweet heart. *dreamy sigh*

The wedding was done Western-style - the ceremony and dinner was supposed to be held on the beach, but alas!

Stormy weather!

So we had it indoors but it was amazing nonetheless. :)

Awwww it was so romantic la...makes me wish my wedding day would come earlier. *__* Which probably explained why I was the only person who chased after the bride's bouquet after her toss missed the whole crowd of girls.

My aunt picked it up, intending to hand it to my sister, but since I eagerly ran forward she gave it to me and I hoisted it high in triumph!

Kidding. I just took a picture with the bride, who proclaimed that her wedding dress was now mine to wear for my own wedding. WOW! I love the dress, its so pretty *__*

Afterwards, the bride and groom and some of the guests (40 people only) got a little bit high and started dancing and doing some raunchy stuff.

OH and they had the garter-removing ceremony that I like so much! Traditionally, the bride wears a garter (a band of fabric normally used to hold stockings up) around her thigh underneath her wedding gown. After the wedding, the groom is supposed to slide the garter of her leg with his teeth, signifying the end of the bride's virginity. *__*

My other cousin whispered to me that she could see her pepet and that luckily she had a brazilian wax WTF HAHA. Then the bride pula was saying really loudly that she wasn't wearing a bra etcetc WTF I dowanna get high on my wedding wei!

Anyway after that someone stuffed the removed garter down the front of the groom's pants and the bride had to remove it with her teeth. AHAHA looks so obscene, and it took so long too -______-

After that the groom did a lap dance for the bride where he unbuttoned his shirt before finishing it. Then the 80-year-old grandma shouted:

"THAT'S IT? TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!"

LOLOL what la these people rawkzors la. 80-years-old wei, no joke.

Entahlah, but I really enjoyed the wedding la, it's so much more fun that the usual waiting-forever-for-the-next-dish-to-come, 150 yamsengs from 150 tables and the old fart karaoke session at the end.

Did I mention we had barbeque dinner? Oh yes, lamb with mint gravy and cheese-stuffed sausages. I LOVE I LOVE YES YES!

Okay, I want my wedding to be something like this one la. :D:D:D

Pretty pretty family pic ^__^ Yes the dress code was white - I'm going to have a dress code for my wedding too so watch out la. I'm going to make you all dress as HoN heroes or in a CS outfit of your choice to celebrate how Sam and I met - through gaming ~_~

HAHA just kidding. But maybe la. See first. :P

Trust

Woke up early and spent the whole day in Sam's apartment. :D I'm super tired now and a bit grumpy. PMS, bitch!

Sigh. I know I shouldn't be, but I AM upset over the way things are going online.

My boyfriend is an extremely skilled and experienced CS player - to think people side 'reformed' hackers over him is just disgusting.

And this comes from so-called friends.

Heck, I was just playing with him yesterday. He cheered me on while I thrashed the opponents nearly 50-15, supposedly celebrating my return from the realm of perpetual lag.

And now I find that he doesn't trust my boyfriend's integrity. Sam? Hack? Hell no. How can he even do something that repulses him so much?

I guess they don't trust me either.

I used to be gleeful when people accuse me of hacking - that means you have to be somewhat above average to stand out. However, when supposed friends start doubting you, it is no longer funny.

I take pride in being honest. If I lose, I may get upset or pout but I will accept the fact that I lost fairly.

I would never cheat.

Never in my life have I used any kind of hacking software to gain the upper hand over fellow players.

The thought of it just makes me sick.

I used to trust my online friends to have the same attitude towards hackers, but lately my trust has been chiselled away by more and more suspicious acts and finally, the straw that broke the donkeys back: my close friend offered me an anti-recoil plugin.

I tried to laugh it off but since that day I have not really played with him much.

I just loathe injustice. Ok?

I trust my boyfriend's skill. I have seen him play with my own eyes, on MY computer, as have some of my other friends so I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that he is an honest to good, skilled player.

Doubting my trust in him means you doubt me too.

And I take offence.

I realise that both Sam and I are extremely mood-dependant players. If we're in a good gaming mood, we can sapu the opponents, no sweat. However if we're in a bad mood or not really in the mood for gaming, we can suddenly become astonishingly average (Sam) or simply bad (me.)

Maybe this inconsistency in performance is cause of suspicion?

Last night I was feeding 5-20+ in my friend's server, and growing increasingly agitated and restless, thus affecting my performance even more.

I took a break and went to fetch my spectacles. When I came back I killed 18 people in a row without dying - even the snipers which I hate so much.

Have I doubted someone I knew for exhibiting the same kind of behaviour?

Yes.

For all I know, my friend might be cheering me on, but silently wondering whether I had taken a break to go switch on some recoil hack or wall hack or some other shit.

We will never know.

For example, there's a really good player that Sam and I have met in real life. We have always doubted the authenticity of his skill, but we were never able to determine anything.

Sam saw hacking software in his thumbdrive that he plugged into the cyber cafe's computer.

Whether he used it or not is not the issue. What's important is that all doubts I had of him just flew to mind and took root there, refusing to dissipate.

Online friendships are so fragile.

Do any of us truly trust each other?

I don't know.

Some may say, don't make a big deal over hackers - it's just a game. You should care for your friends whether they hack or not.

For me, it's a matter of principle. If you can't play fair, don't play at all. Being dishonest in a game can easily translate to being dishonest in real life.

Some people are just skilled.

I guess I shouldn't trust people I meet playing online games.

For example, Henry started playing CS this year, and he's become one heck of a good player. I never saw anything wrong until remarks made by some people about him planted some doubts in my head.

He's my friend and I trust him. I know he's really skilled at gaming and murmurs from unknown people shouldn't affect our trust, right?

Right.

I still trust him, whatever people may say.

I've met him and he's a nice guy and I simply don't believe he would insult his own ego by resorting to rubbish hacks.

:)

So I guess people are right by saying that you should never trust anyone you meet online.

Hiding behind a monitor, who really knows what lurks behind that facade of friendliness?

But then again, I guess now and then we must be generous and entrust someone with our confidence and our heart.

After all, I did meet my boyfriend online didn't I?

Through the same gaming client that has chiselled away so much of my faith in humanity.

I've gained friends, I've lost friends.

I've been betrayed, disappointed, stalked, admired, talked about and scorned.

But most importantly, I've gained love.

That in itself, cures all of the hurt from the other bad things.

:)

Have faith.

Cuti-cuti Malayyyysiaaaa

If you didn't know, I have returned from Melb for a 3 month holiday :D

It seems like a long stretch of nothing-to-do-ness as I don't have anything like upcoming exams or holiday homework or a job. All I can foresee is days and days of butt-numbing gaming in front of the pc.

(YES I CALL MY MAC A PC, nehnehnibubu Apple freaks)

My laptop died the night I came home - it froze during startup, on both the Windows and Mac OS. This happened when I was trying to fix the network adapter and the pc hung and I gave it a hard reboot.

:/ So I took it to Epicenter in Pavilion and the guy said that my Bootcamp (Windows on my Mac) wasn't installed properly and he did it for me!

So now I have the Snow Leopard OS HOHOHO.

Not like I know what's the difference between Snow Leopard and just Leopard (the old one.)

But now my function keys no longer have errors and I can access my Mac hard disk from Windows! OMG so happy!

Therefore, I don't need to repartition my pc as I can access all files from both OS. Last time I could only pull files from Windows in Leopard and not the other way round.

*__*

3 days gaming and I've finally made it into the top 15 on Mun Yue's server. Haha! :D #14 now, with Sam at #15 HAHA.

But he hasn't been playing lately la, he's a a far better and more experienced player than me. I'm just the kind of see-people-then-shoot-lor kind of player.

3 different people called me hacker already YAY! You know you've made an impression on someone when they say you're cheating (but you're not.)

~_~

Poor Sammy got food poisoning. I was wondering why he never called this morning - he was supposed to come and hang out at my house.

Then at like 4 something he called my house phone (my sis was using my hp) and said that he got bad food poisoning and went to the hospital.

WTF. I feel like such a bad gf la. Never call and ask to see where he was =_= To be fair, my hp was my alarm and my sis took it so I woke up at 3.30 pm

Awww. Anyway he's been discharged and I'm going to wake up early tomorrow to go to his place and sayang him and feed him 100 plus and watch movies with him ^_^

My english teacher emailed me, saying that I scored 90% on my final paper, giving me a 90% average for the second semester.

HAHA I rock neneh. :P I finished the paper in 45 mins summore fuyoh...we had 2 hours to do it. ~_~ /lansi

Now I hope my other subjects scored as well la. I already know my Multimedia got about a 81~82% average.

I'm aiming for an 80% average overall but I don't think I can do it lor. Rasa macam gonna fall short a little (I got a 89.75% average on Sem 1 FAK)

I'll know in about a week or so and maybe I'll update la.

No mood to blog sial.

I just wanna go shopping and gaming and cuddle with bf and find my friends.

Feel like doing up my blog with flash as a holiday project but I don't know how to make it work properly on blogger.

But I will try la. :)

Whatever. I think I've become a very boring blogger.

So byebye la. Tomorrow have to wake up early and if I could cook I'd make chicken soup and suap my poor sick boy but I'd probably make him sicker if I do so I'm just gonna bring my laptop and lots of love :D

Good night.