Thursday, August 02, 2007

How to get away with sleeping in class

1. Bring a sweater

When you are wearing a sweater on a not-particularly-cold day, people will assume you are feeling chilly and on the verge of a cold/fever and (hopefully) leave you alone for fear of contracting your disease.

2. Look as unkempt as possible

Have your hair falling over your face, and your glasses sliding down your nose - as if you were too sick to bother with your appearance this morning. (Well, I look like that almost everyday =/)

3. Don't look guilty

If you wake up suddenly and find teacher glaring at you, just put on a miserable-/apologetic- looking face and flop back down on the table weakly.

4. Fake it, if you have to

My Bio teacher disturbed my delicious nap by saying 'STEPHANIE?' really loudly.

"Are you not feeling well?"
"Huh? Oh..."

*clutches abdomen and puts on a pained look*

"No...cramps ah, teacher...cramps..."
"Oh okay, okay..."

*collapses back on the table and resumes sleep*
*throws in a few lame-sounding coughs to complete the picture*

She left me alone. =/

***

Of course, it always helps if you were skinny and pale-looking as well.

It works!
^^ I slept for 5 periods straight in school yesterday!
Lol. And not once did I get scolded!
Miracle!

But I WAS having slight cramps - not bad enough to pass out on the table, but whatever. Abuse it if I have to. (Thank you so much for letting me get away with it, teacher =D)

I was really really, exhausted. -.- I still can't believe that my Chem, Sejarah and Bio teachers didn't tick me off about it. o_O

I love school! (If it means constant naptime, haha)

I wanted to really go all the way and sleep through the periods after recess as well, but it was EST period, and you know how she is. -.-

She was complaining about how my essay on Organic vs Conventional Food wasn't up to scratch. I was bloody shocked to see that she gave me a freaking 21/30 for that!

That piece of crap!
Hahaha!

I'm not trying to make excuses for my shoddy work - it's just that I did that essay at 12.30 am in like 15 minutes, because I really couldn't be bothered. I mean ok, it's not complete shit, but I didn't really put any effort into it at all.

And dear teacher HAD to comfort her 'star' student (OMFG she actually called me that in front of the class - mortification set in immediately =='') by teaching her exactly HOW to write an EST essay.

Omgomgomgomgomg!
She taught me how to match up points (even if they were barely relevant,) use sentence connectors (==) and to put additional information where the examiner can SEE them.

Like wtf, aren't they supposed to read the whole essay??

She kept asking me where my elaborations were...and I pointed to the sentence right after the point given, (ok, my sentence are kinda chiong hei sometimes) and she said:

"You should put the elaboration nearer to the point! You never know what examiner you might get...if the examiner is lazy, he may not see your elaboration etcetc..."

Does that mean she's calling herself lazy? o_O

Ok, I really DO appreciate her taking the time to teach me all this stuff, but really, I had cramps at that time and needed to sit down, ok? (Needless to say, I wasn't in a very good mood either)

PLUS, as she was talking, she was spewing spittle all over my book!
Like DAMN, that is DISGUSTING!

I am not kidding you.
And this isn't even the first time. (My text book had already been victimised.)
But there was more spit then, I guess, because she was worked up over my crappy homework.

I kept wincing every time my book got showered with (huge) droplets of saliva.

But she kept on talking affectionately, and at one point tried to pat my hand sympathetically.

My eyes widened in horror, and I automatically jerked my hand away from hers, then realised how rude it must have looked and immediately pretended that I felt a sudden urge to scratch my shoulder. *whistles*

I looked up at my class every now and then to plead for helpppp (her lecture was seemingly endless) and B, Sui and Anis just looked at me with 'THANK GOD I'M NOT YOU' looks.

*Fine*

And you know what the worst thing is?
I HAVE TO REDO THE WHOLE FUCKING ESSAY!
ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I swear, I'm not gonna hand in sloppy work for EST anymore.
The punishment is just too much for me to handle. T.T

Hey! Maybe she suspected that in the first place and PLANNED to torture me this way?
Nah, I don't think she's THAT observant (did she notice my messy handwriting and tons of cancellations?) ...though I think she'd certainly be malicious enough. =/


Song of the Day:

"Vampires Will Never Hurt You - MCR"

Yes la, I pontenged today, cannot meh? =x

4 comments:

anisawrus said...

LOL!!!! yeah2.. i really do pity u. all of us were happy doing our works n u have to listen to her. =P eyt.. i think u better stop talking about her in ur blog. who knows, one day when she finally knows how to write a blog and stumble upon urs, i dunno wat will happen next. hahah! steph!! u shud write down bout her talking bout the hi5 thingy. =D

YL said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!!
ROFTLMAO AT EST TEACHER!!!!!!!!!!

that's the problem when you're the best but lazy student for english.
they'll force you to do well ALL THE TIME so that they'll feel good bout themselves and get credit for it.

why bother to teach the "star" student? cos it's easier!!!
it's all bad luck.
ahahahaha. xP

now your piece of crap is full of saliva. hahaha.

ngeh. teachers.
=P

Teddy said...

Haha. I slept during EST period yesterday. And I got away sleeping during class. Hehehe.

Well...

I slept outside the class.

No. I was not punished or anything.

I just walked out and sat down next to the door and slept.

...

.....

She didn't come to school la. LOL. There was a substitute teacher. Blek!

Jason said...

You've got to hate it when the Malaysian Education forces you to conform to a set of standards when writing essays.

>> She taught me how to match up points (even if they were barely relevant,) use sentence connectors (==) and to put additional information where the examiner can SEE them. <<

this is exactly the reason why Malaysian education sucks. The fact that the examiners can't be bothered reading and just ticking of his checklist to give you marks, well clearly that sucks.

I recall my English essays having the same problems with yours. Our creativity has been stifled. Why should our writing styles be forced to conform with a system. That simply defeats the purpose of writing an essay.

Lo and behold i get obscene amount of praises for my essays here in Australia. Finally, some recognition of brilliance. =p