It's all over T___T

I guess I could always put it in a more positive light like A NEW BEGINNING! But new semester, new people, MORE WORK! Still negative.

So I guess I'd rather put it as the end of my holidays and my time spent at home and with my dearest boyfriend. :(

It's almost surreal, tapping away on my lycosa that I haven't seen since November, sitting on my black secondhand bedsheet with a cool breeze blowing through the open blinds.

One thing I've always disliked about Melbourne is the absolute silence at night, save for the occasional car passing by. At home, there's always some sort of noise or other, be it my dogs running around in the garden, insects chirping or some insomniac birds making all sorts of noises.

Here it's just...*crickets chirping* Crickets. The sound of silence. But there aren't any crickets, even. Sigh.

I guess it's this silence that sometime drives me absolutely stir-crazy with nothing to do. Loneliness is a powerful feeling and it makes me feel helpless and hopeless.

That's one of the reasons I'm blogging now. To keep my mind from straying off and being negative. It's one thing to talk about loneliness and quite another to actually experience it.

:(

I already miss him more than I can even explain. I feel a bit traitorous to be missing my boyfriend more than my family and home but my mom's coming to visit soon anyway for FIVE WEEKS so that's alright.

Fine. It's just an excuse. It sounds bad when said aloud, but I don't really miss my mom all that much while I'm at Melbourne. Of course I do love and care for her very much, but the feeling doesn't even come close to how I feel when I leave Sam behind, 7000 km away.

And I guess she understands. I never expected her to, but she does. She saw through my whole ploy of hating on Melbourne's laid-back lifestyle as the reason for wanting to stay in Malaysia after I graduate.

Well, she saw it for what it really was - I just don't want to be separated from him any longer, at any cost.

Of course I do love Melbourne. I love the food, most of the people and even the weather, bar the coldest part of winter and the days where it hits 35C+.

The ideal situation would be the both of us finding a job and working in Melbourne. Then we can be together and possibly have better career outlooks.

But then again, I'm realistic. There are slim to zero chances of him ever getting a job here without being a PR. Unless I get my PR and he moves in with me and be my defacto partner, or whatever you call it.

And that's not for many years to come. I shouldn't worry about it now anyway. I just miss him too much.

*tears*

I guess my blog has become much less interesting and much more emotional. But I'm sorry. People grow and change and I'm just going through that phase. :(

Maybe I should change my tune and tell a different story. Ok! That day, Sam, JK and I went to Blitzone with a couple other friends and it was CHOC ownage all over again.

Haha. That JK still got it wei. Aim_headshot awp 40+ kills then only pecah telur. IMBA.

And I got damn bored and cheeky when the guys were playing COD4 and I stuck to CS. I hosted an aim map and people all went to the opponent's team -___- But then 1v3 and I still won HAHA. With 100hp intact!

Then they all mutiny wei. They terus died and changed to my team, then I marah them to go back to their teams laaa. Scared lose to girl mehhh?

Then they all went back and I said now since 1v3 if they lose they have to chia me minum. They lost and they left game! CHEEBYEE. There goes my free drink wei :(

Then got one sohai, accuse me of changing map every time we're losing. I only change map upon request or if I get bored. Swt. And there was only ONE map change that occured while my team was losing. Kepoh sial the fella.

I scolded him and he changed name and rejoined the game. I scolded him summore. Damn thick skin lo. I said if he has a problem with my hosting capacilities come to pc3 and find me lor.

Then he diam diam and played.

Pfft. Behind computer screen only dare to talk la. Typical guys wei. -__-

Okay, not all guys la. But we normally attribute that kind of behaviour to the male population.

I'm afraid I'm starting to become lansi :(

To be fair, I'm only rude to people who are rude/sarcastic to me first or are clearly hacking.

But I fear one day I'm gonna get too big for my britches and an army of random enraged geeks are going to clobber me with their DeathAdders when my friends aren't there with me. D:

Fakkk. But I hate it when people get all snooty at me:

"Oh snowbunnie I heard you very pro d. Come 1v1 la!"

"Aiya, I've always been pro la. :)"

But dammit I'm not pro yet ok? You wanna see pro you go see people like itu Fery, JK, Josh, Peter they all la. Yes baby, you are pro too :)

I'm too emotional when I play. Sometimes, logic tells me not to rush but I'm too impatient and just want a reason to shoot someone so I just rush in impulsively and die. Lol :(

No self-control at all. And my walking skills are FAIL. I can still fall off ledges by mistake and walk into walls LOL.

I really don't know how I kill people one wei. I think I just happen to play with a bunch of noober people only, haha.

Played for 1.5 years and my bunniehop is mediocre at best. -_- In fact, I rarely do it at all for fear of getting laughed at by the people spectating me.

I can't control my AK spray unless I'm high wtf. That day came back from Maison and wallbang spray headshot 3 opponents. ~__~ Lucky or not? HAHA.

I can't throw flashbangs cause I'm too afraid of blinding my teammates. And I know how bloody irritating it is when that happens because JK's friend teamflashed me 4 times that day in Blitz. The worst part is that the enemy didn't kena at all wtf -_-

SEEE I'M EITHER WHINING ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND OR TALKING ABOUT GAMES.

No wonder no one enjoys my blog anymore! I'm sorry T__T We just have different interests gomenasai. :((

Anyway I'm going to shower and try to sleep now. Have to gaodim my uni stuff and insurance tomorrow and I'm meeting Amanda at 11 am. :) It's 5am already GG.

Good night people. Heeheeeee.