Rules are meant to be...

...BROKEN!!!

Wait. Strike that. Some rules should have never been implemented in the first place. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

Place: The Convent Bukit Nanas Hall
Date: 11th January 2005
Time: 8.00 am
Event: Forum Disiplin (Which also means, it's that time of the year where they drill ALL the school rules into your head, by boring, boring prefects, with boring, boring voices. Which you then forget a week later, much to the headmistress' despair)

Did I say forget a week later? Oops. Well, maybe some of them. But DEFINITELY not these.

Did you know that at CBN, you are not allowed to:

♥_Memotong rambut dalam gaya yang keterlaluan, seperti Skinhead, Punk atau boy-cut
Cut your hair in an outrageous style, such as Skinhead (don't ask), Punk (nyahaha) atau boy-cut (NO FAIR)

♥_Menyimpan misai atau janggut
(Keep a pet mustache or beard)

...wtf? Girl's school, you know??

♥_Melakukan perkara yang tidak selaras dengan nilai-nilai moral Malaysia
(Do anything that the Malaysian society deems as morally unfit)

Wait, I haven't finished the sentence yet.

...seperti mempunyai tabiat lesbian atau gay
(That means you can't be lesbian or gay at my school!!! What the hell? This is preposterous! Anyone that is anti-gay = faggot. Sexual-orientationism!!)

♥_Merogol sesiapa
(Rape anyone)

What. The. Freaking. HELL? Girl's school, remember? If there's anyone who knows how a girl can rape a guy, be sure to let me know. *evil grin*

♥_Berzina
(Not sure what this means, but I think it means having sex or comitting inappropriate behaviour)

Whoa. Coolies. I didn't know we were so wild.

♥_Menyebabkan kematian seseorang secara tidak sengaja
(Accidentally kill someone)

Ok, how do you NOT accidentally kill someone? It was an accident, right? So unless you get premonitions, this is a complete oxymoron.

...and my favourite!!

Dan ini adalah peraturan yang baru,
anda dilarang membunuh orang.
(And this is a new rule,
YOU CAN'T MURDER ANYONE!!!)

You mean you could do that last year? Oh my god! What have I missed out on? *cries inconsolably*

Crazy shit-ass rule writers. But other than shitty rules, CBN is a kinda good school. (Can't sue for defamation, NYEH)

Oh yeah, and bloody puns didn't help the students ease up the stitches after all that laughing.

♥_...sesiapa yang ponteng sekolah selama 30 hari berturut...
BUANG SEKOLAH!!!
...sesiapa yang ponteng sekolah 60 hari berkala...
BUANG SEKOLAH!!!

(...anyone who plays truant for 30 consecutive days...)
(...anyone who plays truant for 60 days....)
THROWS AWAY THE SCHOOL!!! *snifflesnort*

Ok, ok, so what they meant was that you get expelled. But literal translation means you get to chuck the school in a garbage can! COOL.

As if that wasn't enough, after that came the Q&A session. Which is simply a display of stupidity um, the lack of intelligence of my beloved schoolmates.

Questions were written on a slip of paper and passed to the front for the teachers to read.
Answer were, well, answered by the teachers.

Q: Can we have a longer recess break?
A: Yeah, sure. *Hall erupts in cheers* ONLY if you stay back longer after school, since the government needs a certain amount of school hours blahblahblah...*Hall fills with yerrrs*

Q: What if we have the teachers ask us to run an errand in a shopping mall ...probably KLCC...? (since there's a rule of not leaving the school grounds)
A: WHERE GOT SUCH THING ONE???!! (Ok, ok, that wasn't exactly the answer. But it was similar, I swear...)

Q: Why don't you answer ALL the questions asked? (Lack of time, duh. And idiots like you just want to keep us in the hall longer until out butts go completely numb)
A: We got no masa, dear.

Q: Why don't you asnwer the questions about teachers and prefects, instead of answering all these STUPID questions?

Uh-oh. Teacher got really, really pissed at this point.

Anyway, it goes on. Don't wanna bore you. Maybe I already have, but whatever.
Enjoy the fact that there still are simpletons out there.

*Information is not deemed to be accurate. Author is suffering from chronic exaggeration compulsion syndrome.