Of death and despair...nawwttt!

After seeing Yi Ling's post on the various methods and chances of death...

And after that particularly nasty experience of 'dying' in that 'explosion' a few days back...

And after today's Add Maths paper...

I'd like to say that I'd like all my major internal organs donated upon my death.

...

So awkward, lol. =O

Note that I said INTERNAL.

If you allow my eyes to be plucked out and my skin sheared off to patch up an arsonist's rump, rest assured I will haunt you for the rest of your life. (Bleeding eye sockets and all.)

Oh, and if the hospital refuses to accept this as a legal declaration out of free will and whatever the crap you all it - eviscerate the good doctor rapidly, then stand over his or her body screeching:

"Now do you want the organs or not? Huh? HUH???"

Mmm...it is somewhat interesting to imagine my intestines helping some guy halfway across the globe squish out his shit.

And if he is not grateful for my generous donation, I will do all in my power to give him terrible constipation!

Muahahaha!!!

...but now that I think of it...people don't do intestine transplants, do they?

Hm. That's a setback.

But whatever.

Oh yeah, without seeming to morbid, the following are the instructions for how my funeral and whatever to be carried out:

Should I die of natural causes, ie sickness etc, I don't want pink lipstick ok?
It looks TERRIBLE on withered, dry lips. And you KNOW how thin my lips already are.
Mmm ask them to try bronze lipgloss instead.

Clothing:

My clothes are to be any one of my favourite T-shirts and my favourite pair of jeans at the current time. (This you can tell by the way I wear them every single weekend before my death.)

I want my toenails painted purple, no questions asked...in this case it is best to stay away from brown, yellow or orange t-shirts, lest they clash with my toenails.

Music to be played:

Muse, Linkin Park, Incubus or anything upbeat.
(Actually, you can play Britney Spears for all I care...not like I can hear it anyway.)

In case of death by accident:

Take immediately to the hospital to salvage any live organs, then have me sewn up by a GOOD embalmer - prefarably a gorgeous one like Shinjyurou. ^^ (See The Embalmer, manga, for details.)

And tell him to make my corpse SMILE, dammit.
Zzz...What's so depressing about leaving the earthly body and going off to another place, huh?
Unless that place resembles hell, that is. (Or CBN.)

After the wake and whatever, do whatever you want with my body.
Burn it.
Bury it.
Give it to medical schools.
I don't really care.
It's nothing but a malnourished carcass, anyway.

THEN, the interesting part.

My will!

WAHAHAHA!

Umm...

Denise: My Mattie-pie!
Yi Ling: My iPod
JL: My guitar and the works
Abby: My fantasy storybooks and the like
Gabi: My DS Lite (don't ask)
Shan2: My autographed posters and CDs
Sui Yi: My Add Maths reference books...oh wait, book. No 's'.

...

Er...actually I don't have much else to give.
Eh how? I die liao people won't have souvenirs!

Maybe I should go and buy posthumous presents for everyone this weekend.

For now, the people who weren't mentioned - just grab a beanie baby from my huge collection and be HAPPY with it.

The end.
^.^

Song of the Day:

"Swollen Summer - The Bravery"

Actually, my guitar class is about to start. Those who I didn't mention - I didn't forget you la! Stop whining, kthx. ;o)