I cannot even remember the last time I was this angry.
I am so fucking pissed off I can't even breathe regularly.
No, I'm not even going to elaborate.
I'm just fuming.
Maybe I will talk about it later, when I am in a better state of mind.
When I'm in such a rage, I can barely think rationally, and all I can think of is grabbing him by the neck, pinning him to the wall and kicking him the balls.
= =
I deal with stress so well right?
So instead of resorting to violence I will express my anger in words.
I feel a bit better now, but still fairly annoyed.
So, what happened was - I challenged one of my DotA friends to a 2v2.
Remember the guy I said I'd beat up (any time, anywhere) ?
Ha. That one.
I was feeling a bit tulan after dredging up old annoyances when I blogged the last post, so I somehow managed to twist a normal conversation into a DotA challenge. ^^
He picks a friend, I pick one - 2v2 match at it's simplest.
I thought 1v1 was a tad mean, so I told him to pick a friend (and he did pick the guy I thought he was gonna pick - who was fairly pro to balance it all out)
After that, I messaged my friend to come help kick some ass, and he said that he was up for it.
We all agreed on a time - 9 pm.
AND what really pissed me off was that at 9 pm, he wasn't there.
No, not the one I challenged.
My would-be teammate.
And THAT REALLY PISSED ME OFF because this wasn't only me that he was making wait - my friend that I was supposed to duel with and also HIS friend which I have only spoken with once (to squeeze my phone number out of me = =)
I hate making strangers wait.
I don't like making my friends wait either, I feel bad, but at least I KNOW they'll forgive me - they're my friends right?
But making an utter stranger wait, that just makes me spiral into total embarassment and guilt - I mean, what kind of a first impression is this?
My duelling opponent was quite forgiving.
He told me it was fine, and it wasn't my fault, they'll wait, forget about his friend's anger, don't worry, yadda yadda yadda.
But I still felt this overwhelming sense of rage.
I felt it was my fault for not picking someone who would actually be on time.
And I was kind of pissed off at myself for being so angry at my friend.
I tried to be reasonable - there is absolutely NO justification for me to get so worked up over this small matter.
I tried to chill out, but I was just fuming.
I hate, hate, HATE being stood up.
After an hour of trying to persuade my opponent and his friend to go on playing without me, I gave in to his requests and settled for a 1v1.
(I think his friend finally exploded with annoyance and will never talk to me again. Great.)
Which wasn't particularly satisfying.
...
I got first blood but was pawned by his creeps immediately after.
I went on to lvl 25 and a mega kill before I felt so guilty for bullying him that I ended the game out of mercy.
My Drow versus his Luna?
Aiyo.
When he told me he picked a fairly new hero, I immediately slapped myself mentally for choosing my darling Drow.
And he accused me of bullying him!
...
I did not. (Hence the mere mega kill = =;)
I did my standard Drow build:
Crystalys
Boots
BKB (exception for this case)
Butterfly
Upgraded boots to treads
Upgraded Crystalys to Buriz
Bought both the components for my HoT
Then, I felt a bit sickened and reached for the End Game button.
...After all that, I still felt really angry at my friend for not being there to carry out the 2v2 match.
(Again, this anger seems to be rather uncalled for when I look back at the situation now.)
What did my 1v1 prove?
That I'm a better DotA player?
I already knew that.
What's the point in all this crap?
I don't have to prove myself to anyone.
...
I just wanted a little fun to get back at the person who annoyed me by saying 'girls don't need muscles.'
=/
And what happened?
Let's see:
I got stood up.
I made my opponent wait for nearly and hour (even though I begged him not to.)
I made HIS friend get freaking upset about MY friend's tardiness - wait, scratch that - his NO SHOW.
I agreed to a fight that I knew I'd win.
I won.
I made him feel bad.
I feel horrible.
My friend just messaged me - a friend called him on the phone and he lost track of time.
...
Song of the Day:
"Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson"
Remind me not to ask any more favours from him.
He's not obliged to do me any favours, but if he didn't want to, he could just SAY so and be done with that.
At the end of the day, that's what really pisses me off.
I am so fucking pissed off I can't even breathe regularly.
No, I'm not even going to elaborate.
I'm just fuming.
Maybe I will talk about it later, when I am in a better state of mind.
When I'm in such a rage, I can barely think rationally, and all I can think of is grabbing him by the neck, pinning him to the wall and kicking him the balls.
= =
I deal with stress so well right?
So instead of resorting to violence I will express my anger in words.
***One hour later***
I feel a bit better now, but still fairly annoyed.
So, what happened was - I challenged one of my DotA friends to a 2v2.
Remember the guy I said I'd beat up (any time, anywhere) ?
Ha. That one.
I was feeling a bit tulan after dredging up old annoyances when I blogged the last post, so I somehow managed to twist a normal conversation into a DotA challenge. ^^
He picks a friend, I pick one - 2v2 match at it's simplest.
I thought 1v1 was a tad mean, so I told him to pick a friend (and he did pick the guy I thought he was gonna pick - who was fairly pro to balance it all out)
After that, I messaged my friend to come help kick some ass, and he said that he was up for it.
We all agreed on a time - 9 pm.
AND what really pissed me off was that at 9 pm, he wasn't there.
No, not the one I challenged.
My would-be teammate.
And THAT REALLY PISSED ME OFF because this wasn't only me that he was making wait - my friend that I was supposed to duel with and also HIS friend which I have only spoken with once (to squeeze my phone number out of me = =)
I hate making strangers wait.
I don't like making my friends wait either, I feel bad, but at least I KNOW they'll forgive me - they're my friends right?
But making an utter stranger wait, that just makes me spiral into total embarassment and guilt - I mean, what kind of a first impression is this?
My duelling opponent was quite forgiving.
He told me it was fine, and it wasn't my fault, they'll wait, forget about his friend's anger, don't worry, yadda yadda yadda.
But I still felt this overwhelming sense of rage.
I felt it was my fault for not picking someone who would actually be on time.
And I was kind of pissed off at myself for being so angry at my friend.
What if he had an emergency?
I tried to be reasonable - there is absolutely NO justification for me to get so worked up over this small matter.
What if he was so exhausted he fell asleep at the keyboard?
I tried to chill out, but I was just fuming.
I hate, hate, HATE being stood up.
After an hour of trying to persuade my opponent and his friend to go on playing without me, I gave in to his requests and settled for a 1v1.
(I think his friend finally exploded with annoyance and will never talk to me again. Great.)
Which wasn't particularly satisfying.
...
I got first blood but was pawned by his creeps immediately after.
I went on to lvl 25 and a mega kill before I felt so guilty for bullying him that I ended the game out of mercy.
My Drow versus his Luna?
Aiyo.
When he told me he picked a fairly new hero, I immediately slapped myself mentally for choosing my darling Drow.
And he accused me of bullying him!
...
I did not. (Hence the mere mega kill = =;)
I did my standard Drow build:
Crystalys
Boots
BKB (exception for this case)
Butterfly
Upgraded boots to treads
Upgraded Crystalys to Buriz
Bought both the components for my HoT
Then, I felt a bit sickened and reached for the End Game button.
...After all that, I still felt really angry at my friend for not being there to carry out the 2v2 match.
(Again, this anger seems to be rather uncalled for when I look back at the situation now.)
What did my 1v1 prove?
That I'm a better DotA player?
I already knew that.
What's the point in all this crap?
I don't have to prove myself to anyone.
...
I just wanted a little fun to get back at the person who annoyed me by saying 'girls don't need muscles.'
=/
And what happened?
Let's see:
I got stood up.
I made my opponent wait for nearly and hour (even though I begged him not to.)
I made HIS friend get freaking upset about MY friend's tardiness - wait, scratch that - his NO SHOW.
I agreed to a fight that I knew I'd win.
I won.
I made him feel bad.
I feel horrible.
AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE GREATEST THING ABOUT ALL THIS?
My friend just messaged me - a friend called him on the phone and he lost track of time.
...
Song of the Day:
"Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson"
Remind me not to ask any more favours from him.
He's not obliged to do me any favours, but if he didn't want to, he could just SAY so and be done with that.
At the end of the day, that's what really pisses me off.
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