§narkie.blogspot.com: Inspired

...in a way.

I was at my cousin's place tonight, having dinner in conjunction with the Midautumn Festival.

She asked me how my portfolio was coming along, and I glumly replied that it was okay...I was at a loss - I had more than 10 pieces left to do and God knows time was running out.

So she asked her husband, Kevin to show me some stuff that could maybe help me organize my work and get down to it.

I followed them upstairs and a giant oil painting of Illidan stared at me from the landing.

Later he turned off the light - and his eyes and tattoos glowed in the dark! (Illidan's, not Kevin's. -_-)

That's some cool shit wei.

They showed me their work room and I saw this cool-looking gaming keyboard and mouse.

I resisted the urge to reach out and press all of its rounded buttons and rest my hand on the squishy looking Razer wrist support pillow. (Both of which I did as soon as they left me alone in the room.)

Anyway, he showed me some stuff and told me to feel free to take any book from the shelf for reference - I brought one home with me to help me work on my anime drawings.

I sat there for 2 solid hours just flipping through those books.

And finally it hit me - I really love art.

It's going to sound really corny, but just studying those pictures...I could almost walk into them - a whole new dimension, a different reality.

It's amazing how the intensity of strokes and colours and movement can manage to convey feelings to the viewer. It's almost magical.

And for once, instead of feeling intimidated by all these awesome drawings, I actually felt encouraged. I just wanted to go home and draw.

I know my standard is still low - Kevin blanched at the fact that I was doing Accounts in Taylor's.

Of course he tried to hide it and told me not to worry, that I can catch up pretty fast - he had friends who were in the same situation as I was: zilch fundamentals, nothing, nada.

And yet they survived art school.

Then I decided that their life was the life I wanted.

Look at my cousin.

She's young, pretty, married to a great, equally good-looking guy.

They're both artists living in a small, gorgeous house filled with both their artwork and decorations - elaborately painted doors with sequins, walls with murals, oil paintings dotting the walls.

Their computers side by side - one equipped with a tablet, the other with a widescreen and all the gaming paraphernalia.

Both are freelance workers - doing what they love at their own pace without restraints and fixed schedules.

Kevin plays Warcraft. However, my cousin was the one who painted the awesome glow-in-the-dark Illidan. (Dayum those eyes were cool!)

They're both so lucky to have a partner that supports and joins in the thing that they love. There's not enough said about people who share the same interests. It makes you feel less alone.

And now I'm pretty sure that's the life I want.

A partner with the same interests.

A house I can truly call my home.

Not being tied down with a desk job.

Being free to draw whenever I feel like it - unhampered by taking care of your partner's differing interests, working hours and superiors telling you what you should and should not do.

Sounds awesome to me.

Now all I have to do is work for it.

I feel like screwing SAM and dedicating what time I have left to practising my drawings skills (or lack thereof -_-)

It just hit me that trials is in a week and I haven't even bothered to start studying.

I have and Accounts test tomorrow and I have never done a single exercise regarding that topic before.

I don't even care. I hate Accounts and whatever shit I'm doing in college now.

Bear with it, they told me. Wah, I've tahan-ed it for 9 months and with 2 months to go, I feel really reluctant to give up on it but I find that I really, really, really resent the fact that somehow I ended up choosing such a shitty course.

English - horrible teacher.

Economics - no interest there.

IT - yawn.

Accounts - fuck you!

Maths - is the only subject I enjoy learning but hate doing homework for.

I think I'll take Ying's suggestion and skip English, Maths and IT whenever I can and stay home to work on my portfolio.

After all, I can do Maths, definitely can score for English and basically all you need to do for IT is read the online notes.

Accounts and Econs I can't afford to miss as much although all they're doing now is revision.

I've already gotten permission to skip Maths and Econs tomorrow so I can sleep in while I complete another piece tonight.

I think I spent more than 2 hours on it and I still don't like it.

At all.

It seems more and more retarded the more I stare at it.

But who cares? I'll get better and then I can finally smile after I complete a piece. Maybe I can even be proud of it and make people go wow when they see it.

My mom's hair stood on end when she saw Illidan's glowing eyes and tattoos.

LOL. She showed me!

See, that's what a picture should do - make someone feel the mood of the picture.

For now, all I can do is make people say:

"Okay...you're getting better. Not bad. However...[insert criticism here] "

#*$^*@&#^ LOL darn!

Okay, I swear this looks better in real life!

If only I had an A3 scanner.

ARGH! Those soulless eyes again. Imba.

Eyes are supposed to convey the most obvious feeling in the picture and all I did was KILL IT!

*rants*

I'm supposed to texture the hair and do the clothes properly too, but after the wings I was exhausted. -_- There was supposed to be a cool outfit - this was only an outline of the body, but I have no confidence to go ahead and fill it in.

I have a problem drawing material.

3D and wrinkles and folds and all that.

*** One hour later ***

Okay. Right after I said that I went to thump myself on the head and decided to at least TRY (and to fail is another problem) so that Ling cannot accuse me of being lazy again.