Yeah, I know it's hypocritical, since I don't pray unless I need something. Actually, I don't pray much at all.
Today, my sis told me that my friend had become yet another victim of bullying and extortion. And I felt something that I haven't felt in a long, long while.
Rage.
It's that little red-hot feeling that makes you want to destroy something and throw up simultaneously. It's just that when a person that's been part of your life for so many years that you just can't imagine not knowing them, gets hurt...it's indescribable.
It's almost like the time Miguel fell off the see-saw and his kidney started bleeding. I was sad and scared all at once. It made me wish it happened to me instead.
Because if MY kidney started bleeding, I know I'd get over it. I know that the bleeding will stop somehow. (Though I'd probably hate it, bleeding every time I took a piss. How messed up is that?) And having a high tolerance for pain helps somewhat. Sometimes people even think I hurt myself on purpose just for the endorphin high that follows. -_-'' Crazy people.
But you won't know if your friend can handle it. You don't know whether they'll get through it, physically and mentally unscathed. That's what makes me afraid.
Hah.
He probably won't forgive me for bringing up the time he thought (I stress the word 'thought') I saw him uh, undressed in the shower years ago. o_o No I didn't, I swear. But he ended up crying for pratically an hour in the bathroom anyway. So I was wondering when, and if he'll ever get over it. The thought made me sick to my stomach.
"What if he never forgives me?"
I mean, you probably don't want to lose a friend over something petty thing that didn't even happen, right? -_-'' Anyway, I remember tailing a very furious boy all over the building for almost 2 hours until finally gave up being mad and started talking to me again.
The relief was tremendous.
But this time, it was some strangers who intentionally hurt him. And I'm fucking pissed at that. I feel like balling up my fists and marching over his school to kick the bastards' wimpy asses.
Until my sister reminded me that this isn't primary anymore...they probably carry parangs and such.
Needless to say, I chickened out at the thought, destroying all heroic musings I had. Dx
So save a prayer, and pray that the stupid bullies start fighting amongst themselves, and end up murdering each other with their parangs.
Thank you.
***
On a happier note, I made the ed board. But no one even bothered to tell me until today. How very typical. T_T
Song of the day:
"Here With Me - Dido"
Sad. =(
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