I hate failure. Really. I know a major portion, if not ALL of you people out there, hate failure. Face it, failure sucks. Big time.
Sometimes it's little things, like being unable to solve that maths problem even though it's practically your best subject. It's exasperating.
I used to love math. Crazy as it sounds, the exhiliration of getting the answer to that question right before anyone else in your class, is simply staggering. Not to mention the satisfaction and gloating rights. =) I have never, ever gotten anything below an A in my life. That is, before I came to algebra.
It was all greek to me. Math is supposed to be a number thing! How can there be little xs and ys EVERYWHERE? o_O It was mind-boggling. And for the very first time, I got a B in math.
And I never bothered to study again. It's weird. I thought not studying can protect me from failure. It's like, "If I never tried at all, how can I fail?" And that's exactly what I did for my PMR. If I don't try, I can't fail, right?
Wrong.
Despite my theory, I still felt that overwhelming sense of failure. Turns out, NOT trying IS failure. Bah.
The effect still lingered on, even as I entered Form 4. My first exam? Horrible. Completely not up to my standards. Excluding the 100% for my english paper (which I wasn't satisfied with because tons of other people got full marks too, it was so easy), I crashed in all my other subjects.
Take Add Maths, I kept telling myself. "I can't do this, I can't do this, it's too hard!" I all but failed my exam.
Thank goodness there was this one thing, that could overcome this negative attitude. My fear of failure was bested by my fear of losing out to someone else. When I compete with someone who I know I can beat, I must win. I don't care, winning is very important to me.
It's so odd, the night before my PMR results came out, I wasn't really praying for straight As. I was praying that Nurul wouldn't beat me. o_o Weird right? We compete in school all the time, and I feel that if I win, everything is right in the world. Haha, freaky right?
Anyway, both of us got a B each, in the same subject, (BM) so it was all good.
Anyhow, today I've decided to use this competitive urge of mine to overthrow my fear of failure. Yes, today I'm going to thank the most unexpected of persons: Sabrina.
Thank goodness that you couldn't do that add maths question.
Thank goodness.
I felt the need to compete the moment you asked Siew Lei to help you with that question. In my mind, I practically snarled "Just because you're in the best science class means you have exclusive tutoring rights!"
I mean, I used to tutor Siew Lei! How can Sabrina overlook me and turn to HER for help? Simply preposterous!
I glanced at the question. There were 2 sub-questions, actually. 7 (a) and (b). They seemed vaguely familiar. I watched as Siew Lei scribbled her workings over Sabrina's notebook. Wrong! I smirked inwardly. I insisted that she hand the book over, and I scribbled the answer to 7 (a) in less than helf the steps she took.
Ha! Gotcha!
I studied 7 (b). I had left this question blank in my exercise book. I couldn't answer it the last time I tried. I just got a fat headache. Reluctantly, I surrendered the book. Siew Lei tried again and again, to no avail. Then the bell rang and we had to keep our books.
And I thought that was that.
THEN, during recess I caught a glimpse of the same notebook on the canteen table. Neither Siew Lei or Sabrina was there. I picked it up and flipped back to the page we were at before. I snorted. If apparently nobody can answer this, so what? I'm not nobody!
I studied the question carefully while chomping on my keropok leko. And poof. I got the answer. Just like that. No workings either.
HA! I WON! I solved it! Nyahahahaha!!
Maybe what they say about fish being brain food is true after all. xD
I hastily pointed out the answer to Sabrina, who had arrived at the table. I explained it to both of them, and they just nodded. "Yeah, yeah..."
I don't think they believed I got the answer at all. CHI SIN!
I'll show you the next exam. I'll teach you all to bloody underestimate my mathematical prowess!
You have been warned.
Song of the day:
"Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen"
Funny. Very funny.
Sometimes it's little things, like being unable to solve that maths problem even though it's practically your best subject. It's exasperating.
I used to love math. Crazy as it sounds, the exhiliration of getting the answer to that question right before anyone else in your class, is simply staggering. Not to mention the satisfaction and gloating rights. =) I have never, ever gotten anything below an A in my life. That is, before I came to algebra.
It was all greek to me. Math is supposed to be a number thing! How can there be little xs and ys EVERYWHERE? o_O It was mind-boggling. And for the very first time, I got a B in math.
And I never bothered to study again. It's weird. I thought not studying can protect me from failure. It's like, "If I never tried at all, how can I fail?" And that's exactly what I did for my PMR. If I don't try, I can't fail, right?
Wrong.
Despite my theory, I still felt that overwhelming sense of failure. Turns out, NOT trying IS failure. Bah.
The effect still lingered on, even as I entered Form 4. My first exam? Horrible. Completely not up to my standards. Excluding the 100% for my english paper (which I wasn't satisfied with because tons of other people got full marks too, it was so easy), I crashed in all my other subjects.
Take Add Maths, I kept telling myself. "I can't do this, I can't do this, it's too hard!" I all but failed my exam.
Thank goodness there was this one thing, that could overcome this negative attitude. My fear of failure was bested by my fear of losing out to someone else. When I compete with someone who I know I can beat, I must win. I don't care, winning is very important to me.
It's so odd, the night before my PMR results came out, I wasn't really praying for straight As. I was praying that Nurul wouldn't beat me. o_o Weird right? We compete in school all the time, and I feel that if I win, everything is right in the world. Haha, freaky right?
Anyway, both of us got a B each, in the same subject, (BM) so it was all good.
Anyhow, today I've decided to use this competitive urge of mine to overthrow my fear of failure. Yes, today I'm going to thank the most unexpected of persons: Sabrina.
Thank goodness that you couldn't do that add maths question.
Thank goodness.
I felt the need to compete the moment you asked Siew Lei to help you with that question. In my mind, I practically snarled "Just because you're in the best science class means you have exclusive tutoring rights!"
I mean, I used to tutor Siew Lei! How can Sabrina overlook me and turn to HER for help? Simply preposterous!
I glanced at the question. There were 2 sub-questions, actually. 7 (a) and (b). They seemed vaguely familiar. I watched as Siew Lei scribbled her workings over Sabrina's notebook. Wrong! I smirked inwardly. I insisted that she hand the book over, and I scribbled the answer to 7 (a) in less than helf the steps she took.
Ha! Gotcha!
I studied 7 (b). I had left this question blank in my exercise book. I couldn't answer it the last time I tried. I just got a fat headache. Reluctantly, I surrendered the book. Siew Lei tried again and again, to no avail. Then the bell rang and we had to keep our books.
And I thought that was that.
THEN, during recess I caught a glimpse of the same notebook on the canteen table. Neither Siew Lei or Sabrina was there. I picked it up and flipped back to the page we were at before. I snorted. If apparently nobody can answer this, so what? I'm not nobody!
I studied the question carefully while chomping on my keropok leko. And poof. I got the answer. Just like that. No workings either.
HA! I WON! I solved it! Nyahahahaha!!
Maybe what they say about fish being brain food is true after all. xD
I hastily pointed out the answer to Sabrina, who had arrived at the table. I explained it to both of them, and they just nodded. "Yeah, yeah..."
I don't think they believed I got the answer at all. CHI SIN!
I'll show you the next exam. I'll teach you all to bloody underestimate my mathematical prowess!
You have been warned.
Song of the day:
"Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen"
Funny. Very funny.
1 comment:
*big applause* come on la, if you can do SPM level maths questions in your head. you can beat tons of other people easily. repeat to yourself - i am good in maths, i am good in maths. get that A1. *nods* hehehe.
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