When nightmares aren't exactly nightmares

You're familiar of the phrase 'when things go bump in the night,' I believe?

Well, have you heard of 'when things go CRASH in the evening?'

There were so many times when I believe something creepy was lurking in the shadows of my dark, dark room. A faint whisper here, a cold rush of wind there...

...only to turn out to be the wind and the air-conditioning under further inspection. -_-''

You can say I'm a tad paranoid.

Today, I was having my luxurious afternoon nap (again =D) when I was rudely awakened by a huge rumbling and crash. It sounded like someone skidded across the closet and crashed into the closet door on my side of the room, and proceeded to grab the doorknob and rattle it around rather violently.

When I sat up, the noise abruptedly stopped. Stupid me decided to take off my contact lenses that afternoon, and all I could see was a very much intact door.

Common sense said:

"Go back to sleep, you twit. That was just another bad dream. You're being paranoid again!"

I half went back to sleep. Then the niggling, paranoid voice in my head screamed:

"SHIT! There's a robber and he's bloody coming to get you!"

I shot straight up in bed. GAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! TIME TO SCRAM!

I grabbed my glasses and rushed out of bed, only to be met by suspicious looking white chunks on the floor.

Huh?

Common sense said:

"See? There's more white stuff nearer the closet door so, whatever it is, it's in your closet. Stop being such a wimp!"

Paranoia said:

"Wha?! There's something in my closet? AHHHHHHHH!!!! OMG IT'S ANTHRAX! SMALLPOX! THE TERRORISTS ARE COMING TO GET ME!!!"

Common sense argued back:

"If there were terrorists in your house, in your CLOSET even, you figure you'd still be alive? THEY'D BLOW YOUR HOUSE TO LITTLE CHUNKS OF RUBBLE YOU STUPID IRRATIONAL PERSON! Bah!"

Cursing my paranoid tendencies, I stumbled out of bed and unlocked my room door, so I could rush out so if the white stuff DID turn out to be an act of terrorism or whatever.

Standing a little way away from the little white pieces, I flipped on the light. Squinting in the sudden brightness, I saw that the white chunks were pieces of...cement, or plaster, or something of that sort.

I hurriedly backed out into the hall and cautiously inspected my ceiling, should it fall down and deliver a fatal blow to the head.

Nothing there, save a little crack running across the cornice and a couple of water stains.

Wait, WATER STAINS? My paranoia screeched.

"Wasn't there an article in the papers a couple days back, about water tanks falling through ceiling and squishing the people under them like bugs? AHHHH!!!!!"

Common sense snorted:

"Dur-brain. Again, you wouldn't be alive if the water tank fell on you, would you?"

Paranoia said in a small voice:

"Oh yeah."

I scooched the heck outta there and went to inspect the closet door on my sister's side of the room.

What the scene looked like.

Upon further inspection:

There was the same brittle white stuff on my sister's side of the closet!

Paranoia:

"OMFG MOMMY!!! There's a...a BEAST IN MY CLOSET!!! It tried to escape, and now the walls are crumbling down! WAHH!!"

Common sense:

"Wah, you think you're like, what? Sabriel? The evil thingies run away when you appear is it? Why isn't the 'monster' breaking the door down right now? Huh? HUH? Bimbo! The ceiling probably caved in or something."

Paranoia:

"I don't care! I want my mommy!"

I went downstairs to find my mom.

"Hey mom, come upstairs for a while..."

My mom followed me up.

"Er, I think the cornice fell or something. But you know la, I don't want to open the door, in case, er, some more falls down?"

My mom popped open the door. And sure enough, the cornice had fallen, leaving chunks of debris all over the floor, even spewing some into my room and my sister's through the crack under the door.

My common sense gleefully said:

"Told you, birdbrain! Nyahahaha!"

Paranoia retorted:

"Aw, SHUDDUP! Anyway we share the same brain, you know? Hah, so there!"

Common sense said:

"Hmph."...and shrank into silence.

***

Damn. How am I going to go into the closet again without the fear that I'll be crushed to bits by falling plaster? Then again, how can I NOT go back into the closet? All my clothes are in there!

And only in your nightmares do people actually go to school naked. So, NOT entering the closet isn't a choice.

...

I think I'll just let the maid clean up the mess.

Hah!

Song of the Day:

"Papercut - Linkin Park"

It's like I'm paranoid, looking over my back. O_o;