I'm a little bit worried about my attitude towards the exam.
Why aren't I panicking yet?
And no, it's not because I'm confident that I'll do well - in fact, I'm pretty sure that some of my subjects are completely screwed up.
It's almost as if I've resigned to the fact that I'm not going to do well - like the hollowness of a condemned man standing before the guillotine.
Or is that too dramatic a comparison?
Lol.
So, how exactly are my exam preparations coming along?
BM - Sei lor. I haven't even read through Konserto Terakhir once yet. I gave up on BM a long, long time ago.
Sejarah - I've done objective questions on the whole syllabus so far, and I plan to finish the subjective questions by tomorrow, and if there's time - read all the sample essays so I get a vague idea of what Form 5 sejarah is all about (I still have no idea)
English - I'll skim through the literature characters on Monday night.
Maths - Will read through the Earth as a Sphere chapter on Tuesday night, and I'm done.
EST - ZOMG I haven't done anything about this yet! I'm gonna fail! (Or get an A2 ><) Add Maths - Aha. Ha. Ha. I've tried doing a few topics with Abigail a couple days back, and I still suck. I get the answers, but can't do the working (=.=?)
Physics - Er, haven't started reading yet, I will during the next weekend.
Chemistry - I've covered the hardest topics with Abigail already, just gotta read through Thermochemistry and practise some Electrochemistry.
Moral - Will read through on Thursday night.
Biology - ...I've done nothing so far. OMG. And I'm still playing DotA! Lalala, I'm so dead.
Definitely no straight As la. I have never gotten straight As in my entire life - with the exception of Std 1 and 2 - and I probably never will.
Sigh.
Even my UPSR was a complete joke - B for Chinese Essay is acceptable, considering the fact that I can't even construct a simple sentence properly until now.
B in Science?
Ha. Ha. Ha.
I just found out last year that Er Yang Hua Tan is carbon dioxide and that Guang He Zhuo Yong is photosynthesis.
Well, better late than never right? -.-''
PMR was another screw-up.
I started preparations exactly 2 weeks before the exam - hey that sounds familiar...
And look what I got - if that isn't a indication of how bad my SPM results iare gonna be, I don't know WHAT it is then.
I'm a bit creeped out at my apathy about the whole thing.
I see people cursing themselves out for coming online a MONTH before SPM, and yet here I am blogging utter nonsense THREE DAYS before the exam.
But what exactly does it mean to me? Nothing much, actually.
There is no way in hell I'm taking a science subject for my career, and all Arts subjects require the following:
-A whopping 3 credits in any subject (equivalent to a C)
-An A in English.
THOSE, I take for granted. I don't even know why I'm in the science stream, haha.
Your all-too-common case of sesat aliran - mainly caused by the following reasons:
- To prove that they are intelligent enough to handle the Science stream
- To please their parents
- To have a wider choice of career options
- To avoid the scary delinquents that seem to plague the Arts stream
- To have a challenge
Well, since I KNOW I'm not stupid - not necessarily intelligent, but not stupid either - and my parents are very open-minded about my career choice, I can say that I got sesat mainly because of the last 3 options.
Anyone else find that a problem as well? =)
And the irony is that the subjects I'm struggling with the most with are the subjects found in the Arts stream as well - BM and Sejarah.
...
Sigh. And it's not even that much of a challenge.
How dare I have the cheek to say that, you ask, what with my horrible marks and all.
I don't know.
I just feel that our syllabus isn't hard at all - just that I'm too lazy and can't really be bothered to learn.
I mean I failed Physics twice consecutively - 40+ marks.
Then when I put my mind to it and studied - the next exam I got an A2.
I keep complaining that I can't do Add Maths - then when Abigail explains the concept to me, I start getting all the answers mentally. No pen and paper even. How stupid is that?
That just proves that success is mind over matter.
But looking at it now, it appears that matter is over my mind. =x
Learning Add Maths and Chemistry 2 weeks before the exam isn't going to help me much - lacking practice, all I can do is cross my fingers and hope that the questions they ask are straightforward.
A quick mind is still no substitute for constant hard work and practice.
Too bad I realised that a tad (ok, WAY) too late.
I know people are going to be disappointed in me.
But somehow that doesn't seem to make me want to work harder.
What are my results to them anyway?
I'm so numb towards SPM that when Yap spilled water over my the original copy of my SPM forecast results, I was more concerned over the amount of tissues I'd need to wipe up the mess than the loss of my results paper.
-.-''
I mean, I've photocopied like 10 copies of them already (9 of which also got wet in the accident, but I have one left =x) but some people may hold the original copy with sentimental value.
For me, it was more like 'Ah, well. I hated that piece of crap anyway.'
It's so bullshit that all the results are boosted by 2/3 grades.
And this is how depressing my results are - my Chemistry is still a B4 AFTER pumping THREE grades.
Meaning it was practically a failure before.
Sejarah is the same.
The rest are also complete lies.
BM - A2?
WTF YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME LA!
I can't even string a coherent sentence together without numerous pauses and hesistations in between - this is an A2?
Alas! What has happened to the Malaysian standard of education?
Or actually, WHAT standard of education?
Maybe that's why it doesn't matter much to me.
Even if I get a so-called A1 for my REAL SPM, how can I be sure that it proves that I'm accomplished in that particular subject?
How will I know whether it is I who is smart - or whether the rest of the Malaysian population are complete dimwits?
If being in section R of the bell curve of the eduction standard becomes meaningless, why not save our efforts and join the idiots (or hidden talents) in section P?
Well, society can look at us this way, but look all they want - the fact is that 80% of us have to be the average joes - we can't all be special; 10% of us have to do the mundane jobs that keep society running - fancy, toilet cleaning as a career; and the other 10% have to rule over the rest of us with their fancy shmancy 17 A1s (and keep the shrinks in business =x)That's just the way life goes.
Song of the Day:
"Blackout - Muse"
I just spent nearly an hour typing this post when I could have been studying.
Yay for me. (And I still don't get the whole point of this post XD)
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