Bored

I feel like utter crap - my head is hurting, I lost my voice and my sinuses are misbehaving.
But nevermind about that, padan muka for not getting enough sleep since I got back from US, right?

Haha.

***

I'm really starting to wonder how people can consider another as a good friend.

I went out to lunch that day with a few of my classmates.
Suddenly, one of them brought up this girl's (X) attitude - I'm not going to mention any names - and how she couldn't stand her.

She said that X constantly made her feel stupid, likes attention from boys and loves being in the limelight. Furthermore, everyone else but one girl agreed.

I was surprised.
I found X to be blunt, yes and has a refreshing lack of tact.

"OMG damn lame la you!"

But it never did hurt my feelings.
=/
That's just the way she is, she doesn't talk behind your back - if she doesn't like you, she says so.
If she finds something wrong with you, she doesn't hold it back.

Given, this may be extremely annoying and can hurt people's feelings more often than not.
But the girl, Y, who brought up this topic still appeared to be friends with X.

This question was posed:

"If you don't like X so much, let me ask you, why are you still friends with her?"

Y was momentarily speechless.

"Because, we're going to spend 9, no, 11 months with her - I don't want..."

"But why are you still friends with her if you don't like her? I mean, I don't care if it's 11 months or 11 years - if you're that kind of person, I don't need to be your friend."

"..."

So let me ask this one question:

Who is worse?

X - who doesn't hide behind false niceties and speaks her mind, albeit in an extremely straightforward way - screw what people think, she told me.

Y - dislikes X, but still pretends to be her friend for her own sake - she's too afraid of a confrontation.

I'm not saying that either person is morally bad in any way.

But, I feel that Y should just distance herself from X and refrain from talking behind her back.

This talk went on:

X is such an attention-seeker, she always with the boys!

"See la! Those two new guys came in already she goes and talks to them...blablabla..."
"Why can't she talk to them? They all play DotA and that's plenty to talk about. I mean I just DotAed with all of them and I don't see anything wrong."
"Well...she was like..."

She had no points to make.
And this reminds me why I preferred boys to girls when I was younger.
Girls can be so bitchy.

I'd like to say I understand how they feel - how X's words have hurt their feelings and offended them. But I too, have been on the receiving end of those barbed remarks and I just find it amusing.

"You damn skinny la! Look at you man!"
"Yea, I know. Looks like a freaking scarecrow right?"
"Hahaha you at home no food one meh?"
"Got la, cannot get fat only la."
"Eat more la!"
"Yala yala, I will, lol."

That was the end of the story.
I don't particularly find it fun when people point out my lack of flesh in public, but hey, it's true - why get offended if she's just pointing out the facts?

Another scenario:

"OMG what were you thinking? Damn lame la you! Right? Right?"
"......"

Y just let herself be burned. =/
I know, it sounds really harsh - 'Damn lame la you!'

Y was speechless, she just looked hurt.
I shrugged, I got that remark too before, but:

"Yea, and I so asked him to come takei with us tomorrow..."
"WHAT? You asked a guy out? OMG DAMN LAME LA YOU!"
"Hahahaha, whaaaaaaaat? Cannot meh? =/"
"Can. Lol."

You just have to learn how to take it the right way.

Some people don't hurt you intentionally - they're just so used to speaking out bluntly like that and they expect you to just shrug it off.

What I really cannot tolerate is talking behind people's backs.

Discussing a person's shortcomings under the covers.
...And I thought these people were her friends.

Another person, Z:

"And the way she talks also, I fell under her spell that day!"

"Hm?"

"Remember when we went to complain about our ESL teacher? At that moment I really felt, ooh, I want to complain about her, I need her replaced!"

"Yea?"

"Then after that, I could see that X was just working us all up - now I see that our teacher wasn't really as bad as we thought. She...like, hypnotised us that day."

"I don't know. I still don't like our teacher."

"And then some more she said that people don't back her up otherwise, only when she's there we dare to complain."

"It's true."

"But we were all fooled by X la, I see our teacher is not really at fault now - that's why I spoke in class just now - 'it's also our fault, teacher,' right?"

"..."

X was absent that day.
During discussions with our class mentor, she complained that no one wanted to back her up after the initial complaint. When she was in front leading the pack everyone was like, 'yeah yeah she sucks!'

Then when we wanted to go and complain directly to the programme director, everyone chickened out - 'she's ok what...she's not that bad la...no need to complain la...'

THEN later, during the intervention by Mr. Madhavan where he made us discuss the whole incident - 'yes, Mr. Madhavan! She is so and so, she makes us feel really bad blablabla...I don't like her...'

So of course, X was really annoyed and spoke up:

"I'm really disappointed in our class. When we wanted to go and complain they were all scared and kept saying she's alright, and like now, they're complaining behind her back instead."

I silently agreed - I had the same experience: being ffk-ed by classmates when lodging an official complaint.

One second they're there backing you up.
The moment authority steps in: "She talked me into it!"

WTF man.

So,
I walked back to campus after lunch that day with a bad taste in my mouth.

I thought I'd escaped 5 years of oestrogen-filled bitchiness when I left CBN, but it appears to be even worse here.

...

Well, I guess in a way, I'm talking behind their backs also.
Don't get me wrong, they're my classmates and I think they're really nice people, except for this one incident - bashing someone else in private? Blaming their own lack of will and judgment on someone else's 'smooth talking?'

...

And you ask why I don't attach myself to people easily.
Look how fickle-minded and hypocritical people are.

I don't deny I've probably said stuff behind people's back before - but never with malicious intent.

That, you can be sure of.

But hey, everyone's human right?
Some shortcomings just cannot be avoided.


Song of the Day:

"Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down"

I feel gloomy.