Temper

My temper...it slipped through my grasp again.

And I thought I had it pretty much under control already, beside the mini outbursts that happen every so often and last for an hour maximum.

Twice, today.

First time was when Scott was dragging his chair across the linoleum floor in the computer lab.
He did it twice, and it hurt my ears badly - not only me; there was a chorus of 'tsk!'s all around.

Upon hearing that, fucking sohai Shaun said, 'hahaha, try and do it again!'

And he kept dragging the fucking chair across the floor repeatedly, ignoring my requests to PLEASE shut UP. Then a few other people started doing it too; and my head was starting to hurt really badly.

It was like nails on a chalkboard - the very sound of it sent shudders down my spine.
And he WOULDN'T stop; he was finding the general discomfort amusing in fact.

"MAHAI CAN YOU SHUT UP BO?"

Sudden silence all around.

"Who said that?"

Mr Madhavan swivelled around to look at me.

"I'm sorry teacher. He was being fucking annoying."

Blood rose to my cheeks as I tried to control my temper.
My jaw was stiff with anger.

Thankfully, he let the moment pass and I tried to focus on my Accounts assignment.
=_=

For goodness sakes lar.
I haven't felt such rage in a very long time.

I suppressed it relatively quickly for the sake of keeping bad feelings out of the atmosphere, but I still felt shaken even after an hour had passed.

...

Maybe I should have let it out earlier.
Instead I blew up online - in public, technically speaking - AGAIN.
Half an hour ago.

In front of Arief, at Kenny.
Even Josh shrank away.

That idiot kept nudging the clan chat to get our attention even though we were ALL there chatting in clan chat ALREADY. Playing CS with headphones on makes the nudge sound extremely loud AND painful; once I can forgive; twice is extremely annoying.

The third time is unforgivable.

"MAHAI KENNY YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH AH? WE'RE ALL HERE YOU NUDGE FOR? CANNOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH IS IT? WANT US TO TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES?"
"Chill, Steph, chill."
"CANNOT LA. MAHAI I LEAVE CLAN HAPPY?"

I left the clan.
Again.
For the 4th time in a row.
=_=

I must really hand it to Arief for being able to layan my freakish moods.
He messaged me after, asking me what he could do to make me happy again.

-_-
My mood still being extremely rotten, I snapped at him and he kept quiet.

Even Nicky's mood soured and I snarled at him to go away, cause he picke the IDEAL time for a confrontation - immediately after I blew my top at Kenny. His sense of timing...impeccable.

"Don't mean to be rude, but can you please keep the 'I don't need you anymore, I have your bro stuff' to yourself? Kinda bored of it already."
"I'm just kidding, good lord. Please don't take it seriously."
"Hahah trust me, I'll never take any jokes of yours seriously."
"=_="
"Jus lozl"
"Then? Z fine I won't talk."
"Just forget what I said tonight. My mood is ruining my talking capabilities."

CCB LAR WHY SO SERIOUS?
Not like I was rubbing it in also, diu.

He was talking to Arief in clan chat about his new clan and said 'wait, I'll play after this.'
I said 'baiii I go play with Joshie first.'

LIKE THAT ALSO WANNA SCOLD ME MEH?
WHAT THE FUCK LA. WHY ARE SOME BOYS SO ANNOYING?

Screw it la.
I just lost my temper at the one person I didn't think I COULD lose my temper at seriously.
Forget controlling my temper.
I'll let it roam free as it wishes from now on.


Song of the Day:

"Shadow of the Day - Linkin Park"

I need KC now. Where is he?